argument140 [kb 9.11] 第七次作业

对酒当歌UID: 2210051

The writer asserts that, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. To support this standpoint, the write cites that her classes are among the largest at the university.  And the money Professor Thomas also has brought to the university in grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Moreover, the writer thinks that, the committee should have Professor stayed there for the good jobs she had done. And a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson will be helpful to make sure that Professor Tomas has no choice but to stay. At the first glance, the assertion is reasonable but analyzing deeply, we will find it not so convincing, this argument had flawed in some critical respects.

First, the fact that the classes are among the largest at the university do not mean that Professor Thomas is popular, because there is not enough information about Thomas herself, nor has any information about the other teachers of botany. We can not rule out the possibility that, if there is few teachers of botany, or even only Tomas, it is totally possible that her classes are among the largest.

Second, even Professor Thomas proved herself that she had done a good job during the seventeen years, will it be suitable for her to be promoted as the Department Chairperson? As is known to us all, the work of a Department Chairperson is trivial, does she have enough abilities to do the work properly?

Third, even it is necessary to offer the Professor Thomas a raise of salary and a promotion to Department Chairperson, it can not make sure that she will stay in the university,  for example, if other universities  offer a superior treatment which is better than the university,  we will not sure which one she will choose.

In sum, the argument, is based on some superficial facts, to strengthen  the view, the writhe should provide enough information about Professor Thomas to decide whether it is necessary to keep her. More over, the writer should ask about her own opinion to give her proper reward,   without carefully discussing, it will be too hasty to draw the conclusion.

abotUID: 2332912

感觉基本没有怎么论证, 再展开一些好些....加油!:)

goldzincUID: 2378390

严重同意
字数最多的段居然是第一段……这样不对啊
是不是偷懒了:)

WHSYINGUID: 2310541

The writer asserts that, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. To support this standpoint, the write cites that her classes are among the largest at the university.  And the money Professor Thomas also has brought to the university in grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. (建议把这些合作一个句子：The author claims that Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000 for the reasons such as her classes are among the largest and the money she has brought to the university in grants has exceeded her salary.)Moreover, the writer thinks that, the committee should have Professor stayed there for the good jobs she had done. And a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson will be helpful to make sure that Professor Tomas has no choice but to stay(建议删除). At the first glance, the assertion is reasonable but analyzing deeply, we will find it not so convincing, this argument had flawed in some critical respects(这句可能很多人会用到，建议改动一下个别词语).

First, the fact that the classes are among the largest at the university（出现频率有点高，建议改一下： the largest classes in at the university） do not mean that Professor Thomas is popular, because there is not enough information about Thomas herself, nor has any information about the other teachers of botany(感觉论证有点无力，要说具体相信点，把一坨屎当白痴看待： 比如说学生更有兴趣学这门课或者是学生感觉这门课很好通过拿学分之类的). We can not rule out the possibility that, if there is few teachers of botany, or even only Tomas, it is totally possible that her classes are among the largest（它已经说了是最大的了啊，只能说其他的老师学生也很多）.

Second, even Professor Thomas proved herself that she had done a good job（感觉不怎么地道：she was a excellent teacher and popular with the students） during the seventeen years, will it be suitable for her to be promoted as the Department Chairperson? As is known to us all, the work of a Department Chairperson is trivial, does she have enough abilities to do the work properly?（感觉论证有点无力，可以再具体增加点细节： 比如说可能Professor 对这个没兴趣啊，或者她根本就没时间啊之类的）

Third, even if it is necessary to offer the Professor Thomas a raise of salary and a promotion to Department Chairperson, it cannot make sure(上文出现过一次，建议改一下如：prove) that she will stay in the university,  for example, if other universities  offer a superior treatment which is better than the university,  we will not sure which one she will choose.

In sum, the argument, is based on some superficial facts, to strengthen  the view, the writer should provide enough information about Professor Thomas to decide whether it is necessary to keep her. More over, the writer should ask about her own opinion to give her proper reward,   without carefully discussing, it will be too hasty to draw the conclusion.(建议作者背一个好一点的模版，然后用的时候稍稍改动一下)

^_^  个人一点点愚见啦，不知道是否正确……
感觉中间论证的过程不过，第一段反而成了最长的，第一段应该稍稍带过引出论证过程即可啊……