woHAPPY
LZ可不可以帮我看一下呀?11号就考了,谢谢了
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement?
It is the responsibility of the government to provide health care to everyone living in that country.
If had the enough fees and health care provided by the government in time (这个虚拟语气的用法有误,应该改成Had the enough fees and health care provided by the government in time, 不过你能想到这样的虚拟形式已经很不错了.) , my brother might have been sitting in the classroom and studying with his classmates in the university. From my perspective, I do agree that the government should be responsible for every citizen in the country to offer health care, considering the private medical care is so expensive in most country that some people could not afford, and also the government ought to utilize the taxes they receive from citizen in practice. Unfortunately, my brother died at last, not given the immediate health care by the government.
(其实这里的开头你可以在写详细一点, 我并不知道你的brother的具体信息, 所以我只能用一些假设的信息重写一个开头, 目的在于帮助你更好地领会怎样用具体的事例进行开头:
Health is of first-rate importance, and acted as the protection and services for local residents, it is the very responsibility for a government to exert some positive influence upon people’s health improvements. My brother is a victim suffered from a cancer. If he received enough health care from the local government, now he would be sitting in a bright classroom studying with other regular students--- mathematics and computer sciences, which are my brother’s favorites. Unfortunately the local government did not promote itself enough to provide such medical and health services. Still, I strongly agree with the statement that…. 告诉作者一个写事例的原则----具体,比如我在写事例的时候就写出了科目,疾病的类别等, 这是老外所喜欢的.)
In the standing point of the most citizens, some of them are quite poor and not able to see the doctor or have regular health care, and thus they would have diseases readily, some of which would even threaten their lives. To this point, for me (鼓励!多使用插入语!!) , I think it is really important for government to provide proper health care to their citizen. For example, my family was in a bad condition in my childhood, which my father was forbidden to work outside as a teacher in the specific period of China in 1960s, and the whole family depended on my mother’s little wages in the clothes factory. Teaching by his father who expected him to go the university, my brother worked hard and had tremendous knowledge, which made him be called “genius” at the age of seventeen. However, the horrible liver cancer came to him, and my parents could not afford to pay the medical fee of 30,000 RMB per month, and instead, what they could do was desperately watching their son dying in bed. A few days later, my brother died just because of lacking in-time health care!
(主体段写得不错, 但是开头还是要有一些逻辑连接词,比如for one thing, for another.)
In terms of using the taxes properly, the governments have the duty to serve the needs of their citizen with the taxes they hand in, and in most cases, the important need of citizen is health care, and consequently, they ought to offer the health care for everyone living the city. If the government are not responsible for serving health care for their citizen, they might be criticized by public, since the public might think the governments have not use their hand-in money in practice. Therefore, from the perspective of the governments, providing the health care might be a better decision for them.
Generally, based on the two main reasons I mentioned: first, the poor could not afford to have health care; second, it is more practical for government to spend taxes, I completely hold a point that governments have the responsibility to provide health care for their citizen.
30+27=57min word count: 422 |