作文修改小超人（停止修改）

ad50855353UID：2296545

帮忙修改一篇作文啊,谢谢.10/20要考了,貌似还很没水平的文章.

topic: Good teachers are more important to a child’s development than good parents.

We live in a world where people are paying more and more attention to children’s education quality. There are some people who indicate that good teachers are more pivotal to a child’s development while there are others who argue that it is indeed parents that exert a greater influence on a child’s life. In my point of view, I may agree that parents are more crucial.

First, parents have more acquaintance with their child. Parents, who have lived with their children for more than seven years, may know quite well about the child’s habits, characters, or the ability to learn new things, to name just a few. However, teachers do not know that. If they do not even know their students well, how will they act an important role in their development?

In addition, parents may use unique techniques, which are especially appropriate to the child to help him deal with the problems he/she bump into. Teachers may know the best method to help students, but the best is not always the most appropriate. The best means it is the best for most students, but not for all of them. Let us take the famous inventor Thomas Edison as an example. Edison attended school for three months. This was his only formal public education. His mother decided to continue his education by herself, teaching him reading, writing, and arithmetic in the way which is accepted by little Thomas. I think that is an important decision for Edison, which does great benefit for his later success in prolific inventions. That is the power of good parents, using unique methods to teach a child.

Parents can also lead the child to realizing the real world around us, rather than the full-of-formulas and statistics world which teachers show the child. A common critic about schools is that they are ‘ivory towers’, where knowledge and practice are separated. However, parents can show the child the what the real world is and how to apply the knowledge they obtain in schools to the life. In general, that is more important for a child in his/her life.

In conclusion, parents know more about their own child, use more appropriate methods and teach their child how to use knowledge. Thus, I argue that parent take a more crucial role in the development of a child.

pppoisonUID：2344984

When it refers to the use of cell phone, the discussion among individuals and in society as a whole has come into vogue during the last decade. It is commonly accepted that people can use cell phone while driving while others, however, take the negative attitude. My opinion states that cell phone use must be restricted. I am in favor of this inclination for many reasons, either in order to avoid traffic accident, or for the purpose of not lead to a wrong order on the road.

The main reason for my propensity to restrict the use of cell phone is that the situation of the road will be in a mess when people are making phone calls. For example, once I was on my way home and I stopped by a red traffic light. Several seconds later, when the light turned green, the long car line still did not move. More and more cars come but the line still did not move. All the drivers were nervous, we don know what happened. Later, after the traffic light turned green again, the cars began to move. Then we found the first car driver was making a phone call. It is an irresponsible behavior that causes all other people to wait for him. Hence, make phone calls while driving can cause bad order.

Another equally essential factor why I advocate people can not use cell phone while driving is that it will be dangerous to drive a car with cell phone. When people are using cell phones, they will pay little attention on the road. That is to say, they will be absent-minded. Meanwhile, a recent survey made by a famous website will make this point clear and acceptable. The survey reveals that when people are using cell phone, the reaction time will be 2 times longer than normal. If a person suddenly comes in front of the car, the driver can not respond within 40 seconds. This can contribute to more frequency traffic accidents. Thus we can draw a conclusion that driving with cell phone is dangerous.

In sum, weighing the pros and cons, I commit the notion that drivers can not use cell phone, not only because it can result in traffic accidents, but also because it can cause bad order.

zeazyUID：2212978

楼主实在太好了
我这里也发上一篇，20号就要考了，请楼主帮忙改改
感激不尽阿！！
5，A company has announced that it wishes to build a large factory near your community. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this new influence on your community. Do you support or oppose the factory? Explain your position.

Some people would consider it a sagacious determination to set up a factory near my community, while others have a negative attitude. As for me, depending on the conditions of my community and my own experience, life style and emotional concern, I will support the factory without hesitation, on account that the advantages of building a factory overweigh these disadvantages.

On one hand, there is no denying that the new factory will bring about many precious opportunities of work. Nowadays, the competition in job market is more intense than ever. It is more and more difficult for many people in my community, even those who are highly qualified, to find ideal positions in society. My neighbor Miss Wang is a good case in point. In July, she graduated from Hebei University, one of the most famous universities in the province. Unfortunately, though excellent she is in accounting, she has not obtained employment until now. Because she intend to work near her parents but such jobs have been occupied already. Obviously, if a factory is operated near my community, she and many people who have similar troubles may take up occupations there. As a result, the factory will relieve the pressure of employment in my community thus benefit the community.

On the other hand, tax would be offered by the factory to the local government, so the government can take advantage of the money to improve the infrastructure facilities in my community. For example, the government can reconstruct the public sports facilities, providing community members the opportunity to exercise and relax after one-day’s hard work. The government can also low the cost of public transportation, because I surprisingly find the tickets of bus cost much more than before due to the raised price of oil and this problem is especially awful for students. Maybe the money provided by the factory can help to control the price.   

Admittedly, the proposed factory may also have adverse effects on the local environment, particularly in regarding to polluting air and water. Without clean air and water, the health of the individuals will be threat to danger.

However, based on discussions demonstrated above, my community eagerly needs more job opportunities and improvement of infrastructure facilities, so I believe the potential benefits of opening a factory would overweigh the risk. If we take proper precautions, such as imposing strict environmental standards, the whole area stands to benefit.

jennycatUID：2201632

第一次习作  请超人大哥猛批哈！！！还有一个半月，改怎么提高 ，感激～～～:loveliness:              Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? The best way to travel is in a group led by a tour guide. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.

An ironical saying, which has became more and more accepted recent year, reflects some travel agency service directly and accurately.
That is – if you join a group led by a tour guide that only means you will take on the bus for sleeping; get off bus for toileting; go to the park just for taking photograph. This ridiculous conclusion may exaggerate some unfortunate tourists nightmare caused by some particularly bad experiences ascribe to irresponsible tour guide or profit-only travel agency. In nowadays China, however, when we have to make a choice between traveling on our own or resorting to tour guide, we must take such horrible impression into account. If you’re a member of young generation as vigorous as me, I will strongly recommend you to choose the former one without any reservation. Because making the journey schedule by yourself can let you enjoy your vacation more completely by assuring your good mood, making your decision arbitrarily and intimate contact with people and culture of your destination.
  First and foremost, maintaining a positive mood which is your essential goal of your leisure activities can be attained when you travel alone surely. You can totally immense yourself in fascinating scenery without worrying about that a guide will interrupt you due to the limited time in park. Plenty of other events happened in traveling group can seriously devastate your mood: nauseating food you have to endure in the designated restaurant; a dirty room which is previously dominated by mice and cockroach in designated hotel; worse, when you confront such unfair treat, the only thing you can do just to stand by it until the end of the voyage for fear that you will be leaved alone in this alien city. Maybe a protesting letter can relieve your temper later, but your whole holiday was ruined.
  Not only can you retain happy mood, but also you can grip your own schedule. Just think about how disappointing you will be when informed that you’re not allowed to pay a visit to your ideal historic relic since it’s not arranged by the agency. According to your own vacation plan, you can drop by any places of interest you desire, you could purchase some souvenirs you prefer at a reasonable price while the equivalent can be attach with prohibitively high price in the stores which are introduced by travel guide.
  Furthermore, to have an intense communication with the local people that convey the local culture may be your desirable thing. Then, some sunlit afternoon, you bump into a little inn’s keeper fortuitously, you two have a long conversation that you find you both share the same interest; you decide to stay in this little inn for a period and try to explore more surprise nearby ultimately. Such romantic dream will never come true under the agency service.
  I have to admit that much money can be saved when joining a group, but the thing I engage in traveling only can be attained when I travel on my own.

破海沧澜UID：2401581

红颜祸水 (爱情狐狸粉丝宝)

lz 空了也帮偶改改　谢谢啊拿了个机经写的，第一次完整的写完，忘多给点意见，不胜感激！

D/A:The best way to truly relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone.


In our modern society, the statement is such a debated one that different people hold different opinions on whether being alone is a best way to have a rest not only because of their respective personality but also because of their alien understandings. Personally, I totally can’t stay alone to have any relaxation.

(Fatigue is doomed to be a problem prevailing in the modern society. Currently, no one could conceal the fact that modern residents endure much more social pressure than they ever had, making daily relaxation and recuperation indispensable. However, a widespread controversy concerning it has captured the public attention recently, and a fair portion of people argues that the best way to relax and reduce stress is to spend time alone. From my perspective, it could not be far from truth.

REMARK: your Introduction should be well developed, although you have already been familiar with TOEFL writing rules, dictions and the accurate use of words are of importance when you are writing)


The first reason that can be presented to develop my opinion is that (The first reason presented here to enhance my opinion is that…..)loneliness makes people lack of strength. When some people feel lonely, they will become nervous and negative (frustrated). A good example can be found in the case that my brother Tim, who can not concentrate on his homework well because he is afraid of staying alone in his bedroom and sitting at him table (sitting in front of his stable, grammar error), study quite hard and get excellent jobs in his classroom or school’s library because there are many people as he says. In another word, he can behave well and relax to do anything bravely when being observed (in the public). Therefore, it is obvious to see that sometimes to spend time alone is not a good way for you to relax.

(REMARK: you use a concrete example to support you opinion in this bogy paragraph, which is good. However, you should also know that to highly develop your idea, your language should be well developed, I have already pointed out several mistakes in your body)


In addition, there is another reason for me to choose this statement and the reason is not far to seek: chatting with friends is much more helpful to reduce stress than spending time alone. To illustrate, let us consider that how terrible you will be if you suffer a serious disease, how stressful you will be if you need to complete a complicated project on time and how exhausted you will be if you go through a tough relationship (excellent!). However, when your dear friends come to pat you and build up your confidence, all problems will die away (seem easier to be solved). Hence, common sense and former experience inform us that the best way for us to forget all the trouble may be a heart-to-heart conversation with friends.


Finally, to speak frank (frankly, grammar error), there is also a more practical reason that different people have different ways to release pain. In our daily life, some women prefer to go shopping and buy a great deal of clothes, cosmetics and foods which make them happy while some men would rather get together in a bar and have a drink of whiskey, vodka or beer which makes them exciting. So we can’t say that a party girl who likes rock and hip-pop should relax herself truly walking alone in a quite park.


To sum up (sum up here is inadequate, this phrase is usually used after an academic research paper.) all the reasons involved, my final point rests on a persuasive opinion towards an appropriate way (not just to stay alone) which is matched with your character to help you release and decompress. Then I believe we will be more relaxed and positive to face any trouble.　　（446 words）

破海沧澜UID：2401581

ad50855353窗体顶端

帮忙修改一篇作文啊,谢谢.10/20要考了,貌似还很没水平的文章.

topic: Good teachers are more important to a child’s development than good parents.

We live in a world where people are paying more and more attention (we live in a world where people are paying an increasing attention to children’s cultivation.注意这里我替换了越来越多的…. 和子女的教育质量这两个词组.) to children’s education quality. There are some people who indicate that good teachers are more pivotal to a child’s development while there are others who argue that it is indeed parents that exert a greater influence on a child’s life. In my point of view, I may (不要用may,这里是你明显突出你的观点的时候,不是你让步的时候!) agree that parents are more crucial.
(开头可以,25分以上的水平.)
First, parents have more acquaintance with their child. Parents, who have lived with their children for more than seven years, may know quite well about the child’s habits, characters, or the ability to learn new things, to name just a few. However, teachers do not know that. If they do not even know their students well, how will they act an important role in their development? (罗辑清楚，不过建议作者在考试的时候加一个例子，比如说你有一个弟弟，他恨优秀，而他的优秀很大程度上是由于他有恨能干的双亲，注意，例子是可以变编的，并且可以很私人化！)

In addition, parents may use unique techniques （methods/ approaches/ means替换!，technique是指工业,科技领域的技术,不适合用在这里!）, which are especially appropriate to the child to help him deal with (handle, deal with在考场上一律用cope with进行替换，cope with=manage to deal with) the problems he/she bump into. Teachers may know the best method to help students, but the best is not always the most appropriate. The best means is the best for most students, but not for all of them. Let us take the famous inventor Thomas Edison as an example. Edison attended school for three months. This was his only formal public education (In his childhood, Tomas Edison received standard education for only three months.这里你需要注意的是你的语言的准确性和简洁性！). His mother decided to continue his education by herself, teaching him reading, writing, and arithmetic in the way which is accepted by little Thomas. I think that is an important decision for Edison, which does great benefit for his later success in prolific inventions. That is the power of good parents, using unique methods to teach a child.

Parents can also lead the child to realize the real world around us (With the assistance of parents, children are able to attain a vivid and deeper understanding of the real world.), rather than the full-of-formulas and statistics world which teachers show to the children. A common critic about schools is that they are ‘ivory towers’, where knowledge and practice are separated. However, parents can show the child the what the real world is and how to apply the knowledge they obtain in schools to the life (In this sense, parents contribute a lot: they may guide their offspring to the practical world and make them capable of  handling practical tasks.). In general, that is more important for a child in his/her life.

In conclusion, parents know more about their own child, use more appropriate methods and teach their child how to use knowledge. Thus, I argue that parent take a more crucial role in the development of a child.

(你的观点是不错的，单凭这一点，写作就不会差，然后你的语言还需进一步提升，请你仔细看看我的修改，然后再翻看我以前的修改，或许对你的语言有所帮助!还有，在真实的托福考试中，不要太担心综合写作，很简单的，昨天我去考了才知道，只要你足够镇静，听力的点是不会漏的，作文分也会很高)

破海沧澜UID：2401581

献给被托福写作困扰着的寄托族 关于托福写作的个人总结: 看到论坛上的很多朋友为写作而苦恼, 为了帮助大家提高写作水平, 我将最近我在论坛上修改作文的经验加以整理, 写出了这篇托福写作总结,首先我将先谈一下托福的独立写作. 1.       在我看来, 托福作文最重要的是什么? 这是每一个托福新手在准备托福考试的时候都会遇到的问题, 很多人因此看大量的托福参考书, 希望找出托福写作的妙法.我个人认为,妙法的确是有的. 而这个妙法也是深深的扎根在托福写作的要点上的. 托福最重要的因素: 观点+语言, 两者是不分伯仲. 所谓观点,就是你的逻辑要清楚, 每一段写什么,都有明确的脉络. 所谓语言就是你的运用英语进行表达的技能,你的用法是否地道, 用词是否准确等等. 在我看来, 第一点是我们最容易解决的,也往往是我们最容易忽视的. 2.       托福写作的观点提炼:好的观点同样需要你的精心呵护. 在这里我并不是想说托福作文的跑题,因为这类情况实际很少. 而我们真正缺乏的是好的观点,何谓好的观点? 好写又好理解的观点就是好的观点.但是我在改作文的过程中发现很多寄托族的观点很难发展, 由于自身水平的局限性, 使得语言晦涩, 怪癖.这些都是需要我们注意并提高的地方. 如何提高? 曾经我也存在观点选择不恰当的问题,然后我采取了以下措施: 我在一张纸上写下了如下的几个领域名称:钱+心理+文化+环境+健康+休闲+科技+教育,然后我拿出185, 开始想作文理由:比如第一题: the reason why people go to colleges. 我就会这样想:在钱的方面,有没有什么原因呢?肯定有的,因为上了大学之后更好赚钱.那在心理方面有没有什么原因呢?也是有的,上了大学有助心理的强化,人格的升华.那在文化方面有没有什么原因呢?还是有!因为在大学之中肯定有文化的交流!这些不一定都是你的写作原因, 但如果涉及以上的话题,你肯定是有话说的,因为你很熟悉,如果不熟悉我们也可以积累关于这几个方面的知识和固定搭配, 这样里有自然就好写了. 到了后期,我就没有在进行这样的练习, 但是这样的思考模式却一直伴随我进入托福考场,使我受益. 3.       托福作文的语言:SAT门派和GRE门派 我看过一些托福的实战作文, 其中不少是出自我们中国学生, 而在标题中我所提到的两类人的托福写作成绩都是很好的, 而两种人的写作方法又不同, 这里加以论述, 就是希望大家能对高手作文建立一个清晰概念, 并结合自身情况加以利用. 考过SAT的同学在写托福作文的时候大多是以具体事例为主，并且描写相对到位，一般作文能拿满分，在寄托论坛上有这些牛人的帖子，由于我平时只是看看，恕不能提供链接。 考过GRE的同学一般是道理论证, 及从正反面, 优势,劣势方面进行论述, 遇到观点选择类题目的时候他们便游刃有余,行文过程中穿插高级词汇, 连考官都要翻字典的那种. 但是这群牛人的得分不如SAT的高中生们稳定，28至30不等。 而在我自己的模版中，我汲取了这两大门派的优势，第一个主体采取例子论证，第二个主题正反面道理论证，虽然不敢肯定这是否能得高分，但也是保证我独立作文字数上480的原因。 4.       托福作文怎样提高语言质量? 如果你的观点已经相当不错(我指的相当不错和一般的一样,上文有论述), 那么这是你就需要进一步在语言上提升自己.如何提高,这里我介绍一个速成的方法, 只需一个月的时间. 步骤一:用好李笑来的185 这里的用好不是要你去仔细看每一篇文章,更不是要你学习李老师的观点, 而是希望你迅速浏览完这本书,并将你觉得写得好的句子和没用过的表达用笔标注出来, 最后在集中输入电脑.对于有相当的英语基础的人来说, 这样的句子整本书都不会太多.如果发现这本书的很多用法你都觉得好, 精看前面的20篇文章, 到后来你就会发现写得不过如此-----你的作文水平就提高了. 步骤二:精看<挑战托福作文满分> 这本书是难得的托福写作的好书, 我自己就精看了2遍, 对于没考过G的同学，这是不错的选择。如果你静下心来，在图书馆里呆上一天，就可以搞定此书。为了为大家省钱，如果有电子版的尽量去下，毕竟都不容易。或者找买了此书的同学借一借，看一两遍就行了。注意， 此书后面的例文修改我建议反复看，第一遍不一定要看完所有例子。 步骤三：帮别人改作文 刚开始这对大家来说有点难，一个是水平不够，一个是信心不足，害怕给别人改错了。在这里我不会教育大家诸如鼓起勇气，你一定行之类的话，因为你给别人改作文就需要对别人负责，所以尽量写一些你觉得正确的句子，在这个过程中，你会主动去查找一些相关话题的表达法，同时它又要比自己写作文有趣得多， 同时，你还练就了超强的打字速度，我就是一个从一个不是不碰电脑的人一个月之间蛹变成了一个打字机器！ 而作文，论坛上有很多，只要你愿意，总是有材料供你修改的。再次强调，要对别人负责！！

红颜祸水UID：2242528

小超人的introduction part部分写的真赞啊
我估计我写不出这个水平呢
有点不明白　“From my perspective, it could not be far from truth.”
加了是不是和我的观点反了。。。

[ 本帖最后由 红颜祸水 于 2007-10-18 20:15 编辑 ]

davidlinbjUID：2413539

Building a new movie theater is unwise

Currently, increasing number of people in our neighborhood are coming to debate whether it is appropriate to build a movie theater here as recently announced. With their statements highlighted on newspapers and voice in TV news, those who favor the new construction believe there will be growing happiness in their daily lives as the great convenience for them to enjoy fascinating movies arrives at their own block. This appears, at least in my opinion, to be a plausible assumption were it not for two factors.

To begin with, our tranquil community will be ruined by the countless customers flocking from everywhere in this city to the movie theater. The peace that the community embraces now, and that a comfortable living environment should always have, will be swept ruthless away; and no benefits of cutting off housing fees or improvements in utilities, if there are some – which I take leave to doubt, can compensate for such losses in character suffered by our block. It is really easy for us to predict how the noise, caused by coming people’s loud conversation and laugh or leaving people’s excited discussion and even crying near the theater, will bother us. Furthermore, since most customers may drive here or make use of urban public transportation systems, beginning at about 8 in the morning and ending at later than 10 at night, the whole block will be covered with roars of buses and horns of cars. Thus, it will be the roars and the horns that change our sunny daily life into unbearable nightmares.

Equally important, matching the predictable bothering noise which is worthy of serious concern is the possible insecurity brought by the new theater into the block. That the larger the amount of influx of people, the more insecure our community will be is undoubted. Among the strangers coming from everywhere, according to the common experience of nearly all public places, may be some thieves, swindlers, or even robbers who are seldom seen here today and who may bring much delinquency or even many crises here then. Taken into account by us now is the possible inconvenience imposed into our daily life that wandering in our own community should be always with special attention to private items and with fear of unfriendliness of strangers.

When the advantages and disadvantages of building a new movie theater in our neighborhood are carefully compared, the most striking finding is self-evident. Without the theater, we may lose some convenience to enjoy a specific type of entertainment, but the peace in our block will be held as it was and it is; we may lose some pleasure brought by popcorns, but the security in our block will be maintained as it was and it is, to grasp more happiness, than the mere convenience of seeing films can do, for us.

coverniggaUID：2414108

题目:Do u disagree or sgree with th e following staement?
Awlays telling the truth  is the most important consideration in any relationship.
use specific reasons and examples to support ur answer.
正文：Have you ever suffer from the pain of unreliable friendship?have you ever been desperated by the lost of trust between your friend?have you ever been upseted by the exsitance of suspicion of you relationships with others?If you do,I belived the best way to reconstruct your relationships is to tell the truth through the whole progress in any of your relationships.
      As the devolopment of the society is geting ever increasingly rapid,the society itself is geting even more perplexing,it is important to hold atight relationship with certian people to survive in this dazzling world.To achive this,we have to be trusted,which means we shall be always telling the truth in any relationships.this is a vital method to win reliance from the people we wish to get alone well with.
     There is a particular example for my point of view. A popular basketball team leader whom I once known was well appreciated by others for his skilled game play and attrative appearance.He was beeb obsessed with almost every girls in his school.unfortunately,this beautiful period of his life was short.when paople eventurelly discover that in his pretty sheid was accumulate with shameless lies which he uses to convince people and aviod contradictions,he slowly lost his popularity. It's not hard  to guess,the recent priod of his life had justfallen to the opposide side.
     we can always inferr from the tragedy is always telling the truth may not help yoto get popular.Nevertheless it will gain you trust and respect feom others and will never ruin your life like the charaterisics as dishonesty.
     althrough,we may more or less consider humorous and throughtful and generous as vital considerations in any

coverniggaUID：2414108

题目:Do u disagree or sgree with th e following staement?
Awlays telling the truth  is the most important consideration in any relationship.
use specific reasons and examples to support ur answer.
正文：Have you ever suffer from the pain of unreliable friendship?have you ever been desperated by the lost of trust between your friend?have you ever been upseted by the exsitance of suspicion of you relationships with others?If you do,I belived the best way to reconstruct your relationships is to tell the truth through the whole progress in any of your relationships.
      As the devolopment of the society is geting ever increasingly rapid,the society itself is geting even more perplexing,it is important to hold atight relationship with certian people to survive in this dazzling world.To achive this,we have to be trusted,which means we shall be always telling the truth in any relationships.this is a vital method to win reliance from the people we wish to get alone well with.
     There is a particular example for my point of view. A popular basketball team leader whom I once known was well appreciated by others for his skilled game play and attrative appearance.He was beeb obsessed with almost every girls in his school.unfortunately,this beautiful period of his life was short.when paople eventurelly discover that in his pretty sheid was accumulate with shameless lies which he uses to convince people and aviod contradictions,he slowly lost his popularity. It's not hard  to guess,the recent priod of his life had justfallen to the opposide side.
     we can always inferr from the tragedy is always telling the truth may not help yoto get popular.Nevertheless it will gain you trust and respect feom others and will never ruin your life like the charaterisics as dishonesty.
     althrough,we may more or less consider humorous and throughtful and generous as vital considerations in any

coverniggaUID：2414108

relationships,the opposite of all these behaviors will certianlly not devastate us as much as dishonesty would.Consequently,once a person is dishonest, any of the good qualities above may seenm useless and meaningless in any relationships.
    So,due to what we have discuss,we may safely draw down the conclution that always telling the truth is the most important consideration in any relationships.

破海沧澜UID：2401581

没错， 但如果你把前面的话改成a fair portion of people opposites that the best way to relax and reduce is to spend time alone and the optimal choice should be outside entertainment, 就是你的观点了:)

dingding1214UID：2370278

Well, the place I enjoy the most is a scenic area named Tianshan mountain located in China. I like the scenic area beacause it has very charming mountain view. I mean the sky there is so blue and the mountain is so majestic and around the majestic mountain there is clear and shallow water that you can see some lovely fishes and and green water plants in it. You know how magical it can ever be,just relax yourself in the mountain. Of course I like the scenic area also because there are customs stores under the mountain. They sale the beautiful national dress (我想说的是民族服饰，不知用national dress是否正确)and national musical instruments（这个想说的是民族乐器，也不知是否正确）. The most important, I recognize my best friend here. And whenever we stay together, we will have the perfect idea.

girlpowerUID：2235717

小超人要考三次？？ 别累坏了阿 加油~~:)