作文-请批改

hildawangUID: 2394142

题目是一个朋友给我的，大概意思是，讨论广告对人们生活的利弊。

The influence exerted by ad on people daily life has become a controversial issue. No one can escape the influence of ad, from making a simple purchase decision, to the way we view the world. Ad, just like a two-edged weapon, can do good as well as evil. I would like to explore both the advantages and disadvantages of ad.

At one hand, ad, used properly, can be of great help to the public. For one thing, it acts as a good purchase advisor. Many high-quality products are made know to end consumers by presenting themselves through ad, which otherwise would have been nameless. Besides, ad could serve as the function of public education. NGOs use the ad as a powerful promotion tool to provoke people’s attention to environment protection and wild life.

On the other hand, ad also has its own fault. Whereas it instructs people’s buying habit, ad is also apt to be manipulated wickedly to provide false information. In is obvious that many people have, at least once in life time, has been misled by these inresponsible ad to buy fake products. Apart from that, children may fall victim to ad flooded with sec or violence. It has been found that early exposure to the unhealthy lifestyle on the part of children has a negative affect for their future.

From the discussion above, we can see both sides of the story. Since ad has become so merged with our daily life that the it is the government responsibility to do what it can so that ad exist for the good of the public.

forbeckUID: 2297645

占楼，楼主前几天的作文，我都还欠着~~

那我今天就看这篇吧:)

forbeckUID: 2297645

NLThe influence exerted by ad不能用缩写哦 on people daily life has become a controversial issue. No one can escape the influence of ad, from making a simple purchase decision, to the way we view the world. Ad, just like a two-edged weapon, can do good as well as evil. I would like to explore both the advantages and disadvantages of ad.首段很精彩

At one hand, ad, used properly, can be of great help to the public. For one thing, it acts as a good purchase advisor. Many high-quality products are made know to end consumers by presenting themselves through ad, which otherwise would have been nameless这个被绝对化了. Besides, ad could serve as the function of public education. NGOs use the ad as a powerful promotion tool to provoke people’s attention to environment protection and wild life.

On the other hand, ad also has its own fault. Whereas it instructs people’s buying habit, ad is also apt to be manipulated wickedly to provide false information. In is obvious that many people have, at least once in life time, has been misled by these inresponsible ad to buy fake products. Apart from that, children may fall victimS to ad flooded with sec/SEX吧？看完后边的才明白，呵呵or violence. It has been found that early exposure to the unhealthy lifestyle on the part of children has a negative affect for their future.

From the discussion above, we can see both sides of the story. Since ad has become so merged with our daily life that the it is the government responsibility to do what it can so that ad exist for the good of the public.
这段话最为结尾段，显然不够完整，仅仅是提出了建议。建议在结尾段在重申一下自己的观点，你在文章BODY部分，对比了利弊，但是没有形成自己对这两个观点的态度，即使是中立的，最好也说明一下

futuremanUID: 2327059

revising..

futuremanUID: 2327059

The influence exerted by ad[以下ad都换成ads，泛指，注意语法] on people [people’s，像这种小错误太多了]daily life has become a controversial issue. No one can escape the influence of ad, from making a simple purchase decision, to the way we view the world. Ad, just like a two-edged weapon, can do good as well as evil. I would like to explore both the advantages and disadvantages of ad.[开头不错]

At one hand, ad, used properly, can be of great help to the public. For one thing, it acts as a good purchase advisor. Many high-quality products are made know[known，语法小错误一定要注意] to end consumers by presenting themselves through ad, which otherwise would have been nameless. Besides, ad could serve as the function of public education. NGOs[实际上，NGO的作用远比保护环境和野生动物大得多，恩] use the ad as a powerful promotion tool to provoke people’s attention to environment protection and wild life.

On the other hand, ad also has its own fault. Whereas it instructs people’s buying habit, ad is also apt to be manipulated wickedly to provide false information. In is obvious that many people have, at least once in life time, has[has和have重复] been misled by these inresponsible [irresponsible]ad to buy fake products. Apart from that, children may fall victim to ad flooded with sec or violence. It has been found that early exposure to the unhealthy lifestyle on the part of children has a negative affect for their future. [最后再稍微总结一下本段]

From the discussion above, we can see both sides of the story. Since ad has become so merged with[In] our daily life that the it is the government responsibility to do what it can so that ad exist for the good of the public.[和以前一篇一个问题，为什么最后一下子提到government，既然是结尾，不要引申过头了]

语法问题要注意，全文的逻辑很好，没有什么太多挑剔的地方，考试中文章结构不会成为你的大问题，但是语法错误和缺少比较好的句子可能成为拿不到高分的obstacle。加油啊~