求拍jj作文，谢谢~~~

luckychinaUID: 2131861

1017机经题.大学生是否应该学习至少一门别国文化的课程


Why, you may wonder, some college students have wider view about the globalization than others, and some nations have more harmonious position contacting with others? In fact, courses on different cultures are of importance to both students and the whole world.


No one neglect the fact that there has been an unconvertible trend to the rapid pace of globalization. At least one course about another culture would definitely help students to know more about a different culture, history, customs and many other interesting stuff and widen their horizon, which is essential to their future career. It is said that college students nowadays can be divided into two classes: first, those who can easily recite thousands of formulas and equations on science and mathematics fluently, while know little about the current situation at the age of change; second, those who pay attention to the latest information and keep pace with the modern society besides the major study. Of those the first are the majority. They have their own compensation. Their high scores in exams are praised by teachers, top ranks in the class are envied by peers, and their entry to outstanding universities is also their parents' pride. But Fortune's favorite children are none other than the second class. Their life is a natural harmony. Those with much stored knowledge about different cultures would never lack topics with any acquaintances they come across, never lack the opportunity to be recognized by the majorities and never lack the chances to succeed in their life. Otherwise, it is too late, for example, for a student who has not access to any courses about other cultures to be laughed at when he or she makes some silly mistakes about the world history. Therefore, so great is our curiosity to a huge range of knowledge that college students had better to learn more about other cultures.


In terms of social level, the reason mentioned below seems to be advisable and deserves more consideration. Such courses on different cultures would not only bring with a better life of promising future to students, but also improve mutual understanding of various countries, decrease the misunderstanding between two nations, and maintain the world peace, which is one of the most two pressing issues in today's world. For instance, for a student majored in international trade, chances to export Chinese tea to the United States might be very large. If she or he has never taken any classes about American culture, the culture conflicts in the negotiation is likely to occur, which might results in another international trade conflicts. Thus, course on different cultures would be necessary to keep the world peace.


In conclusion, a course on different cultures which might only take 45 minutes a day would make a significant effect on the students' future life, and the world peace.


Word Count: 470

豆豆～UID: 2378384

Why, you(American idiots prefer to use "one" instead of "you") may wonder, somecollege students have wider views about the globalization than others,and some nations have more harmonious position contacting with others?In fact, courses on different cultures are of importance to bothstudents and the whole world.

No one would neglect the factthat there has been an unconvertible trend to the rapid pace ofglobalization.(Well, this sentence added nothing to your idea. Though I know it's part of the template of something, you do not want to write sentences that means nothing. Besides, the first sentence of one paragraph should always be the leading sentence, which means that it has to present the whole idea about that para.) At least one course about another culture woulddefinitely help students to know more about a different culture,history, customs and many other interesting stuff("stuff" is pretty colloquial and should not appear in a TOEFL essay) and widen theirhorizons, which is(are) essential to their future career. It is said thatcollege students nowadays can be divided into two classes: A. thosewho can easily recite thousands of formulas and equations on scienceand mathematics fluently, while know little about the current situationat the age of change; B. those who pay attention to the latestinformation and keep pace with the modern society besides the majorstudy. Of those the first are the majority. They have their owncompensation. Their high scores in exams are praised by teachers, topranks in the class are envied by peers, and their entry to outstandinguniversities is also their parents' pride. But Fortune's favoritechildren are none other than the second class. Their life is a naturalharmony. Those with much stored knowledge about different cultureswould never lack topics with any acquaintances they come across, neverlack the opportunity to be recognized by the majorities and never lackthe chances to succeed in their life. Otherwise, it is too late, forexample, for a student who has not access to any courses about othercultures to be laughed at when he or she makes some silly mistakesabout the world history. Therefore, so great is our curiosity to a hugerange of knowledge that college students had better to learn more aboutother cultures.

When you wanna compare two things, you need to keep the balance. That is to say, you cannot mix them up. You may need to seperate this para into two, one talking about one side and the other talking about the other side. Describing two totally different situations together would easily confuse the readers. How to get a high score? Well, you need to keep you logic clear.

In terms of social level,the reason mentioned below seems to be advisable and deserves moreconsideration. Such courses on different cultures would not only bringwith a better life of promising future to students, but also improvemutual understanding of various countries, decrease themisunderstanding between two nations, and maintain the world peace,which is one of the most two pressing issues in today's world. Forinstance, for a student majored in international trade, chances toexport Chinese tea to the United States might be very large. If she orhe has never taken any classes about American culture, the cultureconflicts in the negotiation is likely to occur, which might results inanother international trade conflicts. Thus, course on differentcultures would be necessary to keep the world peace.

I assume that this para is written to present your opinion, right? So, you need to say that "In my opinion, those with more interests in cultures from other countries would be more successful in the rest of their lives." DO NOT let the raters guess which side you hold. Tell them!


In conclusion, a course ondifferent cultures which might only take 45 minutes a day would make asignificant effect on the students' future life, and the world peace.


ALL IN ALL:

I think your ability of writing is relatively good. From what I have told you above, you may need to write your essay with more clarity. I assume that you've taken GRE and thus would write essay like ones in GRE. But, this is TOEFL and what you need to do is simply present your opinion and say why. Can you write your essay using the format in GRE? Of course you can. However, essays with more clarity tend to get higher scores.

Your grammar is pretty good in my opinion, and you are well capable of writing complex sentences, but do not always use "... , which ..." because they make people think you're faking. Three or four in your essay would be enough. Write with fluency. Do not be affected.

An essay like this may earn a score of 4~4.5 out of 5

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR TOEFL!!

luckychinaUID: 2131861

Good luck with our language exam on the same day!