TOPIC 15 好邻居的品质~

popsywinterUID: 2120302

An old Chinese saying goes like this: it is better to have a good neighbour than a relative living far away. Although definition of “a good neighbour” varies from person to person, in my opinion, there are some qualities that all good neighbours have in common.
Nobody likes to deal with difficult people. It is lucky if we have an easy-going neighbour that is not critical with every little thing. Sometimes we may forget to clear the trash can on time or occasionally we may invite friends for a party in the garden and make some noise. A good neighbour won’t make a big deal about them unless it becomes a regular thing. Likewise, we should be tolerant with those small mistakes our neighbours make unintentionally, because understanding is always in a mutual way.
When emergency occurs in our daily life, a warm-hearted neighbour can give us immediate help. I can still remember a nice woman living next door when I was a child, who always takes care of me after school when my parents have to work late. Once I caught a bad cold and got a high fever, she was the one sent me to the hospital and informed my parents.
What else makes a good neighbour is that he/she respects other’s privacy. Neighbours are living close to us, therefore sometime they will learn about our personal details or even secrets. For instance, a neighbour may overhear a couple next door quarrelling. It would be annoyed to the couple if this neighbour shares his finding with others in the community. A good neighbour would never meddle in our business or slip out our secret.

豆豆～UID: 2378384

An old Chinese saying goes like this: it is better to have a goodneighbour than a relative living far away. Although definition of “agood neighbour” varies from person to person, in my opinion, there aresome qualities that all good neighbours have in common.

That's the common problem that Chinese students always face. Writing a good opening is not as easy as it may sound; however, there are certain rules if you wanna write a relatively good one. Here is what I would say and you would find out what I added.
As the ole Chinese saying goes, "it is better to have a good neighbor than a relative living far away," people may sometimes turn to their neighbors in order to get some needed help. Thus, a good neighbor would definitely be a great treasure when we get trapped by setbacks or we want to have some fun. But, one may wonder, what truly defines a "good" neighbor? The answer, of course, varies from differents kinds of people. In my opinion, there are three elements that make a neighbor to be a good one.

Nobody likes to deal with difficult people. It is lucky if we have aneasy-going neighbour that is not critical with every little thing.(You'd better switch these two sentences, because the first sentence should always present the general idea of the paragraph.)Sometimes we may forget to clear the trash can on time or occasionallywe may invite friends for a party in the garden and make some noise. Agood neighbour won’t(will not) make a big deal about them(it) unless it becomes aregular thing. Likewise, we should be tolerant with those smallmistakes our neighbours make unintentionally, because understanding isalways in a mutual way.

This is a pretty good one. BUT, you have to state a SPECIFIC example. You can't just say "Sometimes we may ... a regular thing." What you need to do is to say "I was once throwing a party for my friend, Jenny. At night, all we did were kicking the trash cans and playing Rock and Rolls loudly. BLAH BLAH BLAH." It is EXAMPLE that lengthens the essay!

When emergency occurs in our daily life, a warm-hearted neighbour cangive us immediate help. I can still remember a nice woman living nextdoor when I was a child, who always takes care of me after school whenmy parents have to work late. Once I caught a bad cold and got a highfever, she was the one sent me to the hospital and informed my parents.

Elaborate this example by presenting more details and explain why you think a good neighbor with a warm heart would be helpful.

What else makes a good neighbour is that he/she respects other’sprivacy. Neighbours are living close to us, therefore sometime theywill learn about our personal details or even secrets. For instance, aneighbour may overhear a couple next door quarrelling. It would beannoyed to the couple if this neighbour shares his finding with othersin the community. A good neighbour would never meddle in our businessor slip out our secret.


ALL IN ALL:

I think your ability to write is relatively good. There is no need to worry about the length of the essay, because once you present enough detailed examples, that'd be not a problem whatsoever.

You may just forgot it, or whatever, but an completed essay always has a conclusion. So, you may need to summrize your reasons and idea.

An essay like this may earn a score of 3.5~4 out of 5

GOOD LUCK WITH YOUR TOEFL!!!

popsywinterUID: 2120302

再次谢谢豆豆的指点~~我会记住常犯的错误~后天就去杭州了~希望大家考试都好运`

berylkwokUID: 2311567

谢谢版主