Issue51-Spring第1次作业 by timeup

timeupUID: 2399383

Issue51   "Education will be truly effective only when it is specifically designed to meet the individual needs and interests of each student."

WORDS: 433         TIME: 00:40:00          DATE: 2007-10-25

The speaker states that education will be truly effective only when each student's specific needs and interests are met. Even though I support the speaker insofar as educators should pay close attention to students' individual differences, I find it unrealistic to meet every students' requirement. Moreover, even if we strive make each student happy, it is still suspicious that this sort of education is "effective".

In the first place, given the current situation, it is almost impossible to design courses according to the diverse personalities of the students -- this is even true in developing countries or international cities. A great amount of money and human resources are required to realize this impossible mission. Consider, in some African countries suffered by AIDS and poverty, the possibility to make the statement true. Few would deny to solve more pressing problems first. Even if in some developed nations such as American and Japan, the effort to customized education is still too expensive to be feasible.

Secondly, the speaker assumes that if education can be personalized, it shall be effective. But is this true? The answer, in most cases, is no. For most children, it is difficult to tell what they are interested in, or what they really require, except few genius who exhibit exceptional talents in certain fields, like music or physics. The fundamental education system are responsible for providing some common curriculum which deliver the essentials of various human endeavors. Suppose that students are allowed to decide what to learn at their own will, many of them would refuse to attend some courses which seem to be not interesting, or even boring. Yet, such courses often contains the core of ideas, moral values which are crucial to students' future development. An effective education system should provide students a common background in basic subjects, while allow students to make some choices at the same time.

Nevertheless, there do exist some cases in which the statement is true. In graduate programs, such as PhD in management, the students tend to have a strong background in fundamental things in their fields. Often a student has him/her own supervisor. suppose him/her supervisor, as well as the whole research institute strive to meet him/her needs and interests, he/she often could achieve great progress. The statement also applies to such education systems as special education, art, and short-term training program.

In sum, except in the some special cases, the statement is is ungrounded. It is infeasible to make the education system fit to each student. What's more, even it is realistic, it does not make up for an effective education.

beg for beating   ^-^

life2008UID: 2401740

The speaker states that education will be truly effective only when each student's specific needs and interests are met. Even though I support the speaker insofar as educators should pay close attention to students' individual differences, I find it unrealistic to meet every students'student’srequirement. Moreover, even if we strive(to) make each student happy, it is still suspicious此处doubtful,suspicious一般是用于主语是人的时候用 that this sort of education is "effective".

In the first place, given the current situation, it is almost impossible to design courses according to the diverse personalities of the students -- this is even true in developing countries or international cities. A great amount of money and human resources are required to realize this impossible mission. Consider, 用在此处太口语化了,我个人觉得用for example可能会好点 in some African countries suffered by AIDS and poverty, the possibility to make the statement true. 此句没有谓语,个人觉得直接用the statement is true 就OK了 Few would deny to solve more pressing problems first. Even if in some developed nations such as AmericanAmerica and Japan, the effort to customized education is still too expensive to be feasible.

Secondly, the speaker assumes that if education can be personalized, it shall be effective. But is this true? The answer, in most cases, is no. For most children, it is difficult to tell what they are interested in, or what they really require, excepta few geniuses who exhibit exceptional talents in certain fields, like music or physics. The fundamental education system areis responsible for providing some common curriculum which deliver the essentials of various human endeavors. Supposesupposing that students are allowed to decide what to learn atof their own will, many of them would refuse to attend some courses which seem to be not interesting, or even boring. Yet, such courses often contains the core of ideas, moral values which are crucial to students' future development. An effective education system should provide students a common background in basic subjects, while allow students to make some choices at the same time.

Nevertheless, there do exist some cases in which the statement is true. In graduate programs, such as PhD in management, the students tend to have a strong background in fundamental things in their fields. Often a student has him/her own supervisor. suppose him/her supervisor, as well as the whole research institute strive to meet him/her needs and interests, he/she often could achieve great progress. The statement can also be applied also applies to such education systems as special education, art, and short-term training program.

In sum, except in thethe 不要some special cases, the statement is isis 不要 ungrounded. It is infeasible to make the education system fit to each student. What's more, even it is realistic, it does not make up for an effective education.

beg for beating   ^-^

本文是我第一次帮人修改的作文,由于我也是第一次接触AW,对AW的理解也是有限的,因此,可能很多问题也没有找出来,敬请见谅.
本文作者从否定的立场来进行立论展开,在文章的开头就明确给出其观点,然后分别从满足个性需要方面及有效性与否方面进行分别论证,应该说思路是清晰的,但第一个分论点我认为主题定的太大了,个性能否满足不是仅是一个钱字这方面能够说清楚的,这样的论据让人觉得不是很有说服力,接下来的论证应该说是成功的,这个论点和论据是很多帖子都讨论过的,在我的作文中我没有用到,很是遗憾.
之后从反面论证,作出一些让步,让读者从心理上能够接受,也是很好的.从整体上讲,本文论证思路较清晰,应该说是有说服力的,但是一些小的错误应该还是要注意.谢谢