Argument117【0806G-Sunbird小组】第4次作业

hope~~UID: 2416007

Argument117【0806G-Sunbird小组】第4次作业
TOPIC: ARGUMENT117 - The following is a memo from the business manager of Valu-Mart stores.

"Over 70 percent of the respondents to a recent survey reported that they are required to take more work home with them from the workplace than they
were in the past. Since Valu-Mart has not seen impressive sales in its office-supply departments in the past, we should take advantage of this work-at-home trend by increasing at all Valu-Mart stores the stock of home office machines such as printers, small copy machines, paper shredders, and fax machines. We will also increase stock of office supplies such as paper, pens, and staplers. With these changes, our office-supply departments will become the most profitable component of our stores."
WORDS: 426                 DATE: 2007-11-24

In this memo the business manage of Valu-Mart (VM) stores recommends increasing investment of VM’s office-supply departments, and conceives that their office-supply department will become the most profitable component of their stores. To support this recommendation the business manage cites the survey that they are required to take more work home than in the workplace in the past. Careful examination of this supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to the business manage‘s suggestion.

First of all, most of people prefer working at home do not necessarily indicate that more people would be interested in buying the office’s requirement, that they would be interested in VM’s products. Perhaps they don’t like to work home, just complain about office-supply that VM sells. Since the article fails to account for this alternative explanation for the 70% preferring to work home, the business manage cannot make any sound recommendations to their office-supply products would be profitable.

As for the survey that the memo cites, it doesn’t represent all of the office people that are interested in working home or buying the VM’s products. And the survey isn’t highly reliability, because we don’t know that how many people make the research, how to make it, where it makes. Above all, the author doesn’t have clear express. If there are only several people made the survey, 70 % of several people fail to show the problem that VM’s products are well sales. Moreover, whether the people that responds to the survey is on behalf of all trades and professions. If they are only from some particular profession, the change of work style is difficult in showing that people of all trades and professions prefer office products.

Finally, even assuming that the people are strongly interesting in buying the sorts of office-supply products the recommendation rests on two addition assumption: (1) that this interest will continue in the foreseeable future, and (2) that the people will prefer VM over other merchants that sell similar products. Until the business manage substantiates both assumptions I remain unconvinced that a VM store would be profitable.

In sum, the reach that relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation the author must provide better evidence that the office man prefer types of office-supply products, and would like to buy types of office-supply products. Such evidence might include the following: a clearly survey showing that significant number of the office man like types of office-supply products; and assurances from players that they would like to purchase.



[ 本帖最后由 hope~~ 于 2007-11-25 14:31 编辑 ]

zxxx2972UID: 2367399

In this memo the business manage of Valu-Mart (VM) stores recommends increasing investment of VM’s office-supply departments, and conceives that their office-supply department will become the most profitable component of their stores. To support this recommendation the business manage cites the survey that they are required to take more work home than in the workplace in the past. Careful examination of this supporting evidence, however, reveals that it lends little credible support to the business manage‘s suggestion.First of all, most of people prefer working at home do not necessarily indicate that more people would be interested in buying the office’s requirement（？这个词用得不好）, that they would be interested in VM’s products. （这个句子太怪，表达并列用as well as 连一下）Perhaps they don’t like to work home, just complain about office-supply that VM sells. （不懂，不喜欢回去工作但是也工作阿。而且要是工作必须要这些办公设备，能不想办法解决？这个假设没有说服力）Since the article fails to account for this alternative explanation for the 70% preferring to work home, the business manage cannot make any sound recommendations to their office-supply products would be profitable.

As for the survey that the memo cites, it doesn’t represent all of the office people that are interested in working home or buying the VM’s products. And the survey isn’t highly reliability, because we don’t know that how many people make the research, how to make it, where it makes. Above all, the author doesn’t have clear express. If there are only several people made（为什么用made?用participating in） the survey, 70 % of several people fail to show the problem（不要the problem）that VM’s products are well sales. Moreover, whether the people that(who) responds to the survey is on behalf of all trades and professions. (这里是想疑问语气还是陈述语气？两种结构都靠不上 )If they are only from some particular profession, the change of work style is difficult in showing that people of all trades and professions prefer office products.

Finally, even assuming that the people are strongly interesting in buying the sorts of office-supply products the recommendation rests on two addition assumption: (1) that this interest will continue in the foreseeable future, and (2) that the people will prefer VM over other merchants that sell similar products. Until the business manage substantiates both assumptions I remain unconvinced that a VM store would be profitable.

In sum, the reach that relies on certain doubtful assumptions that render it unconvincing as it stands. To bolster the recommendation the author must provide better evidence that the office man prefer types of office-supply products, and would like to buy types of office-supply products. Such evidence might include the following: a clearly survey showing that significant number of the office man like types of office-supply products; and assurances from players that they would like to purchase.


还是老问题，基本的语法错误要少犯，特别是影响句子结构的。有些句子结构还不完整。句子结构和语法方面还是自己先检查下，这样提高比较快。

世界乱了UID: 2417111

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