ISSUE243[Aero小组]第一次作业 by ragingfire

ragingfireUID: 186932

TOPIC: ISSUE243 - "The true value of acivilization is reflected in its artistic creations rather than in itsscientific accomplishments."
TIME: 00:43:55          DATE: 2007-12-13 22:21:37

I agree with the speaker on the basis thatthe true value of a civilization can be reflected in its artistic creations.However, it deserves further consideration to deliver such declaration.Scientific accomplishments, which are the strength of mainstream that advancesour society, also constitute civilization. Moreover, the development ofartistry is connected to science advancements as well.

Artistic creations have made greatcontribution to human civilization since the ancient times. When we look back tothe past times, the first thing catches our eyes is artistic creation. Forexample, Greek mythology stands for the ancient country of Greece; the pictureof Mona Lisa represents the period of Renaissance; And the Declaration ofIndependence opened a new era of democracy. Without artistic creations, thehistory would be pale and coarse. Artistry nowadays continues to affect ourlives. Movies, songs and other types of artistic creations can meet ouraesthetic and emotional needs.

At the mean time, scientificaccomplishments serve as the strength of mainstream that advances our society.The natural science achievements, such as the understanding of the universe,the life and the spirit, are all notable to the human civilization. And thesocial science which guides us to a rational and well-organized society cannotbe neglected as the treasures of human beings. (Where I omit detailed examplesdue to time limitation T_T) Moreover, the successes of modern science may influenceartistry. The technologies like modern electrical sounds and lights give thebirth to new kind of artistry. Furthermore, science accomplishments haveprovided easier ways to preserve and transfer artistic creations. At themoment, if I want to listen to a concert play, there is no need to go to thehall. Playing a CD at home can give me the same pleasure.

To sum up, both artistic creations andscience accomplishment make contribution to civilization. It is not adequate tooverlook any of them. In my view, the cooperation of both can accelerate thedevelopment of human civilization. (sum up quickly, no time left...faint~~)


请各位狠拍~~

victkidUID: 2326283

I agree with the speaker on the basis that the true value of a civilization can be reflected in its artistic creations. However, it deserves further consideration to deliver such declaration. Scientific accomplishments, which are the strength of mainstream that advances our society, also constitute civilization. Moreover, the development of artistry is connected to science advancements as well.Artistic creations have made great contribution to human civilization since the (是不是可以不要？）ancient times. When we look back to the past times, （和上面的times感觉有些重复）the first thing catches our eyes is artistic creation. For example, Greek mythology stands for the ancient country of Greece; the picture of Mona Lisa represents the period of Renaissance; And the Declaration of Independence opened a new era of democracy. Without artistic creations, the history would be pale and coarse. Artistry nowadays continues to affect our lives（改成影响现在的文明更好一些）. Movies, songs and other types of artistic creations can meet our aesthetic and emotional needs.（或者这里加一个小总结，把生活和文明联系起来）At the mean time, scientific accomplishments serve as the strength of mainstream that advances our society. The natural science achievements, such as the understanding of the universe and of the life and the spirit, are all notable to the human civilization. (这里也可以加例子支持）And the social science which guides us to a rational and well-organized society can not be neglected as the treasures of human beings. (Where I omit detailed examples （haha）due to time limitation T_T)

(这里可以分段）Moreover, the successes of modern science may influence artistry. The technologies like modern electrical sounds and lights give the birth to new kind of artistry. Further more, science accomplishments have provided easier ways to preserve and transfer artistic creations. At the moment, if I want to listen to a concert play, there is no need to go to the hall. Playing a CD at home can give me the same pleasure.To sum up, both artistic creations and science accomplishment make contribution to civilization. It is not adequate to overlook any of them. In my view, the cooperation of both can accelerate the development of human civilization. (sum up quickly, no time left...faint~~)（结尾我觉得不错，2-3句话，句式也有变换。新东方老师讲的和北美上的结尾好像都差不多这样）

谢谢ragingfire对我作文的修改，学到了很多。
本人语法和语言上明显不如lz了，只能根据自己的理解改一些小问题。
很好的文章啊。

武寒UID: 2300087

(开头没有用传统的author asserts...,呵呵)I agree with the speaker on the basis that the true value of a civilization can be reflected in its artistic creations. However, it deserves further consideration to deliver such declaration. Scientific accomplishments, which are the strength of mainstream that advances our society, also constitute the civilization. Moreover, the development of artistry is connected to science advancements as well.

Artistic creations have made great contribution to human civilization since the ancient times. When we look back to the past times (the past time), the first thing catches our eyes is artistic creation. For example, Greek mythology stands for the ancient country of Greece; the picture of Mona Lisa represents the period of Renaissance; And the Declaration of Independence opened a new era of democracy. Without artistic creations, the history would be pale and coarse. Artistry nowadays continues to affect our lives. Movies, songs and other types of artistic creations can meet our aesthetic and emotional needs.（这里面的例子我要了阿，ragingfire不要吝啬才是）

At the mean time, scientific accomplishments serve as the strength of mainstream that advances (victkid 疏忽了，这个动词形式正确)our society. （这句重复了一次）The natural science achievements, such as the understanding of the universe, the life and the spirit, are all notable to the human civilization. And the social science which guides us to a rational and well-organized society cannot be neglected as the treasures of human beings. (Where I omit detailed examples due to time limitation T_T)

（同意victkid说法，在这分一段）Moreover, the successes of modern science may influence artistry. The technologies like modern electrical sounds and lights give the birth to new kind of artistry. Furthermore, science accomplishments have provided easier ways to preserve and transfer artistic creations. At the moment, if I want to listen to a concert play, there is no need to go to the hall. Playing a CD at home can give me the same pleasure.

To sum up, both artistic creations and science accomplishments make contribution to civilization. It is not adequate to overlook any of them. In my view, the cooperation of both can accelerate the development of human civilization. (sum up quickly, no time left...faint~~)

看了ragingfire的文章才知道自己的差距，ragingfire文章很好
我是新手，也说不出什么了，需要继续努力才是。文章收藏了

wizardzUID: 2268761

我觉得写得比较流畅，提了些小意见，我也觉得讲science 和art的connection可以单独一段，安排好篇幅

I agree with the speaker on the basis that the true value of a civilization can be reflected in its artistic creations. However, it deserves further consideration to deliver such declaration. Scientific accomplishments, which are the strength of mainstream major strength/ dominant strength that advance sour society, also constitute civilization. Moreover, the development of artistry is connected to science advancements as well.Artistic creations have made great contribution to human civilization since the ancient times. When we look back to the past times, the first thing catches our eyes is artistic creation. For example, Greek mythology stands for the ancient country culture? of Greece; the picture of Mona Lisa represents the period of Renaissance; And the Declaration of Independence opened a new era of democracy. Without artistic creations, the history would be pale and coarse. Artistry nowadays continues to affect ourlives. Movies, songs and other types of artistic creations can meet ouraesthetic and emotional needs.At the mean time, scientific accomplishments serve as the strength of mainstream that advances our society. The natural science achievements, such as the understanding of the universe, the life and the spirit, are all notable to the human civilization. And the social science which guides us to a rational and well-organized society can not be neglected as the treasures of human beings. (Where I omit detailed examples due to time limitation T_T) Moreover, the successes of modern science may influence artistry. The technologies like modern electrical sounds and lights give the no "the" birth to new kind of artistry. Furthermore, science accomplishments have provided easier ways to preserve and transfer artistic creations. At the moment, if I want to listen to a concert play, there is no need to go to the hall. Playing a CD at home can give me the same pleasure.To sum up, both artistic creations and science accomplishment make contribution to civilization. It is not adequate inadequate 这个表达可能不大好 to overlook any of them. In my view, the cooperation of both can accelerate the development of human civilization. (sum up quickly, no time left...faint~~)

[ 本帖最后由 wizardz 于 2007-12-15 20:33 编辑 ]