ISSUE130 飞越dreams小组第一次作业

lyokaUID: 2451632

ISSUE130. "How children are socialized today determines the destiny of society. Unfortunately, we have not yet learned how to raise children who can help bring about a better society."
Words:    446     Time: unlimited

What on earth determines the destiny of society? The author holds the opinion that how children are socialized today determines it. To some extent I quite agree with the author, for the simple reason that children are the future of the society, and childhood plays an important role in every generation who controls the society. But to reach the purpose, we should make effort to change the world for a better one ourselves, which will be a good way to raise children.

Every human lives lives in time, and he must experience a childhood, an adolescence, and an adulthood. As we all know, the earlier period of one’s life has a great effect on the following ones of the life. And how the children are taught therefore is of great importance. If the children are rightly guided while they are young, it is likely that they will form a correct recognization of the world, and as a result, they can contribute much to the society as they should. So if we want to see a better world, we should create a fair, well-organized environment for the younger generation, then when the society is handed to them, undoubtedly it will be a better one.

On the contrary, if we do not put enough attention on it, the result might be quite severe. Here is a convincing example, a good part of crime is mistakenly led when they are quite small. They are either accompanied with bad-quality persons or isolated, as a result, they can not recognize the world correctly and walk on a wrong way. Therefore if we can make sure that children are socialized well, there will be much progress in our society.

However, only by doing this is far from enough. It is true that to socialize children correctly is a useful method, but we must take other measures at the same time. For instance, we must make effort to change our society for a better one ourselves. Younger generation, whether they are aware or not, will learn from us more or less. They will take us for their example even not at their own wish. They may feel it unreasonable that we ask them to do one thing which we can not do ourselves. So to some extent, the destiny of the society is determined by us.

On the whole, we should ensure that children are well socialized, for the future of the society is to a large extent determined by them. However, we can not just depend on them to create a completely new world, we must be good examples first. By this means, the future of our world will be much brighter.


[ 本帖最后由 lyoka 于 2008-1-29 09:21 编辑 ]

纳兰馨儿UID: 2437109

What on earth determines the destiny of society? The author holds the opinion that how children are socialized today determines it. To some extent I quite agree with the author, for the simple reason that children are the future of the society, and childhood plays an important role in every generation who controls the society.(童年和孩子的必然联系没有说清楚：and childhood plays an important role on children’s future)But(转折~？) to reach the purpose, we should make effort to change the world for a better one ourselves, which will be a good way to raise children.（不是很搭配~）
设问开头很好，只是说了下一代对未来很重要，没说为什么重要？

Every human lives lives in time, and he must experience a childhood, an adolescence, and an adulthood. As we all know, the earlier period of one’s life has a great effect on the following ones of the life. And how the children are taught therefore is of great importance. If the children are rightly guided while they are young, it is likely that they will form a correct recognization of the world, and as a result, they can contribute much to the society as they should. （指导好了à好的世界观à对社会做贡献: 好象太绝对了~~毕竟外因是通过内因起作用的,最好都加个”可能”）So if we want to see a better world, we should create a fair, well-organized environment for the younger generation, then when the society is handed to them, undoubtedly it will be a better one.
我觉得这一段只给了一个原因就是世界观决定对社会的贡献,但是世界观跟社会化还是有区别的.而题目的中心是社会化.最好想个办法把它们联系起来J

On the contrary, if we do not put enough attention on it, the result might be quite severe. Here is a convincing example, a good part of crime is mistakenly led when they are quite small. They are either accompanied with bad-quality persons or isolated, as a result, they can not recognize the world correctly and walk on a wrong way. Therefore if we can make sure that children are socialized well, there will be much progress in our society.However, only by doing this is far from enough. It is true that to socialize children correctly is a useful method, but we must take other measures at the same time. For instance, we must make effort to change our society for a better one ourselves. Younger generation, whether they are aware or not, will learn from us more or less(learn from是主动,改成被动比较好be influenced by ). They will take us for their example even not at their own wish. They may feel it unreasonable that we ask them to do one thing which we can not do ourselves. So to some extent, the destiny of the society is determined by us.
很喜欢这段Great~!

On the whole, we should ensure that children are well socialized, for the future of the society is to a large extent determined by them. However, we can not just depend on them to create a completely new world, we must be good examples first. By this means, the future of our world will be much brighter.
这段combine的很好~

思想还是很不错的,就是有一个问题,重复的话太多,写没一句话的时候最好问问自己:是深入分析还是举例论证?如果都不是,就不要写了.语言还要加强.有点中文化~~不过慢慢就好了,呵呵,再说语言也不是AW的核心.
Come on~!

[ 本帖最后由 纳兰馨儿 于 2008-2-4 19:37 编辑 ]