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[i习作temp] Issue185 [Jet]小组第一次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2008-1-30 11:11:08 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
题目:ISSUE185 - "Scandals-whether in politics, academia, or other areas-can be useful. They focus our attention on problems in ways that no speaker or reformer ever could."
字数:357          用时:0:45:00          日期:2008-1-29

The speaker claims that scandals are useful and scandals focus people's attention on problems successfully. I tend to disagree with both aspects of the claims. To begin with, scandals could attract people's attention in a seeking novelty way to satisfy other's curiosity. However, the object of scandals have is more than just focusing people's attention on the problem, as discuss below.

The words spread by people meet other people's interests in seeking novelty, and they usually attract people's attention very easily. But during these processes, the original meaning might be change greatly. For example, simple words: It is an apple, might change as: Amy likes to eat banana. For everyone has the different comprehension to the sentence, while they pass the words to another people, they might like to add some their own understanding to it. Gradually, the whole sentence might be change completely. This makes scandals sounds not real. Due to this reason a lot of people do not believe in it. In short, it might attract people's attention without people serious treating to it.

Moreover, some scandals are spread by baleful people. They might spread them for some secrete objects, such as hated, dissatisfied and so forth. People who believe them might be easily utilized by these guys, and help to destroy a good man's image in innocent ways. After all things is clear, they might feel embarrassing to make such a mistake.

Finally, scandals destroy the relationship between people. Just imagine two friends close like two brothers. One day, someone tell one of them the other always complains about him. If he believed the words he might not trust his friend anymore. Even in some rarely examples that the truth is known to all people, the shadow cast into people’s mind would not be erased.

To sum up, scandals could focus our attention on problems, but most of them are not the truth, people who easily believe them could hurt the really good men. And the people spread them, might be in some untold subjects. It is impossible way to focus people's attention on the problems. The negative side is more the positive side.
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发表于 2008-1-30 12:59:55 |只看该作者

回复 #1 bluebell_cici 的帖子

The speaker claims that scandals are useful and scandals focus people'sattention on problems successfully. I tend to disagree with both aspects of theclaims. To begin with, scandals could attract people's attention in a seekingnovelty way to satisfy other's curiosity. However,the object of scandals have is more than just focusing people's attention onthe problem, as discuss below.

The words spread by people meet other people's(
避免people重复改为others’) interests in seekingnovelty (感觉Novelty seeking 更为平衡些), and(因果关系,改为therefore/so) they usually attractpeople's attention very easily. But during these processes, the originalmeaning might be change greatly. For example, simple words: It is an apple,might change as: Amy likes to eat banana. For everyone has the differentcomprehension to the sentence, while they pass the words to another people,they might like to add some their own understanding to it. Gradually, the wholesentence might be change (changed) completely.This makes scandals sounds not real. Due to this reason a lot of people do notbelieve in it. In short, it might attract people'sattention without peopleserious treating to it.

Moreover, some scandals are spread by baleful people. They(
建议改为定语从句who) might spread them for somesecrete objects, such as hated, dissatisfied and so forth. People who believethem might be easily utilized by these guys, and help to destroy a good man'simage in innocent ways. After all things is(are)clear,they might feel embarrassing(embarrassed) tomake (建议commit) such a mistake.

Finally, scandals destroy the relationship between people. Just imagine twofriends close like two brothers. One day, someone tell one of them the otheralways complains about him. If he believed the words he might not trust hisfriend anymore. Even in some rarely examples that the truth is known to allpeople, the shadow cast into people’s mind would notbe erased.

To sum up, scandals could focus our attention on problems, but most of them arenot the truth, people who easily believe them could hurt the really good (honest) men. And the people spread them, might be insome untold subjects. It is(
添加an) impossible way to focus people's attention on the problems.The negative side is more the positive side(建议删掉最后一句).

这样写的话有点像是argu,没有提到一点丑闻的积极作用,在这种情况下你的最后一句就不需要了,另外出现了一些基本的语法错误和逻辑缺陷。建议加强段落的论证训练(当然我也是,呵呵),再加些事例就更好了。我也是新手,有何不足请指出。:)

[ 本帖最后由 yimengshan 于 2008-1-31 20:46 编辑 ]

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板凳
发表于 2008-1-30 22:26:17 |只看该作者
直接回复就可以了

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RE: Issue185 [Jet]小组第一次作业 [修改]

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Issue185 [Jet]小组第一次作业
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