Argument164 飞跃dreams小组第二次作业

syjsss213UID: 2415289

TOPIC: ARGUMENT164 - Claitown University needs both affordable housing for its students and a way to fund the building of such housing. The best solution to this problem is to commission a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings. It is common knowledge that tourists are willing to pay money to tour some of the architect's buildings, so it can be expected that tourists will want to visit this new building. The income from the fees charged to tourists will soon cover the building costs. Furthermore, such a building will attract new students as well as donations from alumni. And even though such a building will be much larger than our current need for student housing, part of the building can be used as office space.
WORDS: 355          TIME: 70min

The speaker asserts that commission of a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings is the best choice to relieve the inadequacy of students' dormitory and to make ends meet. At first glance, this claim is tantalizingly convincing, but after further evaluation we could find logical flaws that weaken this assertion.

To begin with, the speaker fails to convince us that tourism will make significant contribution in striking balance of financial budget. The preference and interest in architects may be quite distinctive among tourist, and speaker provides no warranted evidence to ensure us tourists' fondness of experimental and futuristic buildings. It is entirely possible that tourists in this country have little intention to appraise this complicated architecture style and to take a visit there.

Additionally, the assumption that the income from the fees charged to tourists will soon cover the building cost is quite questionable. Since the speaker's argument tells nothing about the expenditure on new building and the prospective incomes, the hasty conclusion made above is totally unfounded. Suppose that the real incomes achieved after finishing the building only cover one tenth of the whole pay, the speaker's suggestion will be wholly misleading.

Another logically unpersuasive assumption is that such a building will attract new students as well as donations from alumni. Without specifical evidence, we could not guarantee students' and alumni' tendency to dedicate for Claitown University. It is entirely possible that this university was established only a few years ago and graduates from this university are still striving arduously in their own careers, and in that case, they could not spare sufficient time to assist university's renew.

Finally, the statement that surplus housing will act as office space is contradictory in some aspects to the former proposal of tourism. With overcrowded and noise trend of tourists which speaker expects, faculty and officers in that building may find it difficult to get rid of this disturbance.

In summary, to make it an acceptable argument, speaker should provide statistical evidence about the university's revenue and properly expected incomes, and make persuasive survey about alumni and new students' intention to assist covering the budget.

gre_killer_wuUID: 2451830

The speaker asserts that commission of a famous architect known for experimental and futuristic buildings is the best choice to relieve the inadequacy of students' dormitory and to make ends meet. At first glance, this claim is tantalizingly convincing, but after further evaluation we could find logical flaws that weaken this assertion.

To begin with, the speaker fails to convince us that tourism will make significant contribution in striking balance of financial budget. The preference and interest in architects may be quite distinctive among tourist, and speaker provides no warranted evidence to ensure us tourists' fondness of experimental and futuristic buildings. It is entirely possible that tourists in this country have little intention to appraise this complicated architecture style and to take a visit there.
(I don't think this paragraph is acceptable. The author of the article mentions that some of this architect's buildings are visited by many tourists, but you make the speculation that "the preference and interest in architects may be quite distinctive among tourist". Obviously, you didn't seize the critical point.)

Additionally, the assumption that the income from the fees charged to tourists will soon cover the building cost is quite questionable. Since the speaker's argument tells nothing about the expenditure on new building and the prospective incomes, the hasty conclusion made above is totally unfounded. Suppose that the real incomes achieved after finishing the building only cover one tenth of the whole pay, the speaker's suggestion will be wholly misleading.
(This paragraph is well reasoned.)

Another logically unpersuasive assumption is that such a building will attract new students as well as donations from alumni. Without specifical evidence, we could not guarantee students' and alumni' tendency to dedicate for Claitown University. It is entirely possible that this university was established only a few years ago and graduates from this university are still striving arduously in their own careers(The red part looks like a sophistry), and in that case, they could not spare sufficient time to assist university's renew.

Finally, the statement that surplus housing will act as office space is contradictory in some aspects to the former proposal of tourism. With overcrowded and noise trend of tourists which speaker expects, faculty and officers in that building may find it difficult to get rid of this disturbance.

In summary, to make it an acceptable argument, speaker should provide statistical evidence about the university's revenue and properly expected incomes, and make persuasive survey about alumni and new students' intention to assist covering the budget.

You behaves well in controlling the language, but you often fail to seize the crucial points. I suggest that you should do more logical exercises.

After reading your exercises for several times, I found that you are so excellent in expressing what you thoughts, that I can hardly convince myself that I will get a desirable score in gre exam, comparing to your level. :( Hahaha...;d:
However, I am very grateful to you for your precision in correcting my exercise. No matter we are designed to do correcting for each other or not, I will take it a pleasure to correct your exercise. And I will also take your recommendations seriously. Thanks again.

[ 本帖最后由 gre_killer_wu 于 2008-1-31 16:38 编辑 ]