argument200(Aero小组) 全新力作欢迎互拍^^

wenwenwen4444UID: 2377774

200  Statistics collected from dentists indicate that three times more men
than women faint while visiting the dentist. This evidence suggests that men
are more likely to be distressed about having dental work done than women
are. Thus, dentists who advertise to attract patients should target the male
consumer and emphasize both the effectiveness of their anesthetic techniques
and the sensitivity of their staff to nervous or suffering patients.

The argument is dubious for some aspects as follows. First, the reliability
of the statistics collected from dentists is questionable. Furthermore, it is
cursory for author to have the suggestion from the statistics. The arguer
also fails to provide a effective and rational assertion. I will closely
analyse these aspects in turn.

The statistics are provied by dentists who failed to enssure that, in his
treatment, men are equal to women. If the men are far more than women in the
therapy, it will be useless as a evedence. Even if the men equal women in the
treatment, it is also possible that the illness of men is more serious than
that of women. In this case, more men are faint. Finally, maybe the women are
shy enough and will not show their fear on faces. In short, the statics are
unconvincing without providing more details about this statistics.

Even though the statistics can be substantiated, the suggestion that men are
more likely distressed than women when they in treating by dentists is worth
to oppugn. The faint is unequal to distress. That is to say, it is largely
probable that women who are rather distressed in treatment show anything
others but faint. Thus it is hard to judge men or women are more likely to be
distressed just according to the statistics.

Finally, the assertion is ill-conceived. The fatal mistake of the author is
only directing to male consumers in the advertisement. Women are also large
potential consumers and even they are further more than men. Thus the women
can not be ignored in the advertisement. Also, emphasizing both the
effectiveness of anesthetic techniques and their staff's sensitivity to
nervous or suffering patients is useless for lower the feeling of pain and
strain instead increase the dread of patients. Therefore, the advertisement should be directed to both female and male and have reasonalbe method attracting consumers.  

In conclusion, the argument that seems logical at first have several flaws as
analyze above. The argument could be improved by providing more details about
the statistics and rational advice , in addition, ruling out other possible
factors influencing the reliability of conclusion.   

chenwentaoerUID: 2460010

有些句子比较chingish 比如The faint is unequal to distress
可以写成Larger percentage of fainted men do not necessarily infer that men are more like to get distressed than women.

前面讲到STATISTICS的样本容量问题的时候,把重点转移到percentage比说样本容量一定要equal要好

fatal mistake of the author这个看起来用词好象严重了一些

在讲WOMEN也是潜在顾客的时候可以假设女人比较怕疼,所以干脆不看医生,所以女性反而可能是更大的潜在市场

最后讲emphasizing both the effectiveness of anesthetic techniques and their staff's sensitivity 的时候可以说
the author offers no clear evidence that these are the very criteria that customers based on to choose where to treat their dental problem. It is entirely possible that patients nowdays concerns more on the environment ect.

wenwenwen4444UID: 2377774

the author offers no clear evidence that these are the very criteria that customers based on to choose where to treat their dental problem. It is entirely possible that patients nowdays concerns more on the environment ect.

不是很明白＝＝

chenwentaoerUID: 2460010

就是说前面都在讲疼痛,但是他没有说明疼痛是现在的顾客考虑的关键,可能顾客挑选医院根据其他标准 而不是anesthetic tech的水平 所以 recommendation of the ads is untenable