Argument147 【Chasing For "6" Score】第二次作业

xipanlinyuUID: 2300112

TOPIC: ARGUMENT 147 - The following appeared in an editorial in a business magazine.

"Although the sales of Whirlwind video games have declined over the past two years, a recent survey of video-game players suggests that this sales trend is about to be reversed. The survey asked video-game players what features they thought were most important in a video game. According to the survey, players prefer games that provide lifelike graphics, which require the most up-to-date computers. Whirlwind has just introduced several such games with an extensive advertising campaign directed at people 10 to 25 years old, the age-group most likely to play video games. It follows, then, that the sales of Whirlwind video games are likely to increase dramatically in the next few months."
WORDS: 519         TIME: 2:00:00          DATE: 2008-3-6
1.参加survey的人有没有代表性？喜欢有lifelike graphics的并不代表会买，影响购买的因素有很多，如电脑配置，购买能力，游戏情节，价钱。
2.市场状况未知，可能竞争激烈，可能市场需求已经满足，已经饱和。可能经济萧条、整个市场不好。
3.即使确实很多人愿意买，也有市场，但不能保证会买WV的，品牌忠诚度、价钱，game的类型，主题，是否刺激。在过去两年销量下降的原因可能正是这些。此外，广告的对象是10-25岁，与survey参与者可能有偏差，而且这个人群购买力可能不强。

In this argument, the arguer asserts that the sales of Whirlwind video (WV) would go up dramatically in near future. To support this conclusion, the arguer points out that a survey of video game players reveals that they favor video games with lifelike graphics in them and WV has just introduced such games. This argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.

In the first place, the assumption concerning this survey—people will purchase video games with lifelike graphics--is worth questioning. There is no evidence that the survey’s respondents are representative of overall video game players. Even if the survey is statistically reliable thus many players are fond of games with lifelike graphics, this does not ensure their purchase of such games. There are many other factors influencing one’s choice of games aside from lifelike graphics. It is possible that a great many people cannot afford computers with good configurations that such games require. Perhaps the plots of such games are not appealing enough that players would rather choose more interesting games. Or poor persons prefer to buy cheaper ones. In addition, the objection of advertisement is between 10 and 25, who might not be well represented by those who attend the survey. Even if this group of people has the inclination of games with lifelike graphics, they have weak purchasing power.

Besides, no evidence is provided about the market's current situation. Consider, if there is fierce competition in this market, especially when some strongly mighty companies have controlled the market, leaving small not-so-mighty companies in an unfavorable situation, it is not advisable for WV to enter this market. Or perhaps the market is already saturated with such products or its substitutes. Then WV’s competitors have taken up most share of the market and thus there is little space for WV to survive. It is also likely that the whole market is suffering an economic depression, resulting in few needs to be satisfied. Thus even if there are certain demands for such games, they are not so large as to bring dramatic increase of sales for WV.

Even if a great many people are willing to purchase this sort of games and there is also a big market to satisfy, the potential customers are not necessarily inclined to WV’s products. The arguer fails to provide efficient evidence to prove that the products of WV are superior to other companies’ and win the favor of customers. Maybe the right reason why WV’s sales declined last two years is that they were inferior in graphic quality, unprepossessing plots, failing rules of games and thus they lost many customers. If they do not improve their quality of games, they are still hardly likely to draw their customers back. Besides, customers might have faith in certain brands when choosing sellers. Thus if WV does not have particular advantages, they are not necessarily to change their sellers. It is also likely that WV’s price is higher than other companies for the reason that they have invested much money on advertisement campaign or other costs, leading to the forfeiture of customers who prefer cheaper price.

ncnysUID: 2347325

写的不错! 论证中的他因举例也比较好!

不过结构上还有改进空间..可以抓住最关键的点作第一段,以此类推..比如第二段可以作为最后一段...因为这个论点相比其它的不是特别有力

总的不错! 加油!

answer35UID: 2463414

In this argument, the arguer asserts that the sales of Whirlwind video (WV) would go up dramatically in near future. To support this conclusion, the arguer points out that a survey of video game players reveals that they favor video games with lifelike graphics in them and WV has just introduced such games. This argument is unconvincing for several critical flaws.

In the first place, the assumption concerning this survey—people will purchase video games with lifelike graphics--is worth questioning. There is no evidence that the survey’s respondents are representative of overall video game players. Even if the survey is statistically reliable thus many players are fond of games with lifelike graphics, this does not ensure their purchase of such games. There are many other factors influencing one’s choice of games aside from lifelike graphics. It is possible that a great many people cannot afford computers with good configurations that such games require. Perhaps the plots of such games are not appealing enough that players would rather choose more interesting games. Or poor persons prefer to buy cheaper ones. In addition, the objection of advertisement is between 10 and 25, who might not be well represented by those who attend the survey. Even if this group of people has the inclination of games with lifelike graphics, they have weak purchasing power.

Besides, no evidence is provided about the market's current situation. Consider, if there is fierce competition in this market, especially when some strongly mighty companies have controlled the market, leaving small not-so-mighty companies in an unfavorable situation, it is not advisable for WV to enter this market. Or perhaps the market is already saturated with such products or its substitutes. Then WV’s competitors have taken up most share of the market and thus there is little space for WV to survive. It is also likely that the whole market is suffering an economic depression, resulting in few needs to be satisfied. Thus even if there are certain demands for such games, they are not so large as to bring dramatic increase of sales for WV.

Even if a great many people are willing to purchase this sort of games and there is also a big market to satisfy, the potential customers are not necessarily inclined to WV’s products. The arguer fails to provide efficient evidence to prove that the products of WV are superior to other companies’ and win the favor of customers. Maybe the right reason why WV’s sales declined last two years is that they were inferior in graphic quality, unprepossessing plots, failing rules of games and thus they lost many customers. If they do not improve their quality of games, they are still hardly likely to draw their customers back. Besides, customers might have faith in certain brands when choosing sellers. Thus if WV does not have particular advantages, they are not necessarily to change their sellers. It is also likely that WV’s price is higher than other companies for the reason that they have invested much money on advertisement campaign or other costs, leading to the forfeiture of customers who prefer cheaper price.
首先，你写不错，但是好像看不到你有结尾的，结构上需要改进，内容上正如楼上所说，先重点攻击survey，再延伸到攻击其他。我的能力有限，欢迎楼主回批。谢谢～