issue130 0806GSTIVE第五次作业

lanse17UID: 2459286

Have we learned well how to raise children who can help bring a bright future? My response tends to be that we are building good educational system. Although there are some problems existed in today education field, well-development of students indicates that we can well accomplish the educational task of young people in future. At the same time, we also need to realize that the socialization of children plays an important role in determining future society.
   
It is true that there are some educational problems existed in this rapid developing and changing today society because the influence of past educational pattern. In the past several years, educators pay much attention on the development of students' intelligence, while ignore other aspects of education, accompanied with many problems; among witch most apparently is communicative ability. No matter Jiajue Ma in YunNan university of China or Seung Hui Cho in Virginia Tech of United States, the common characteristic is that they are not willing to communicate with other students. One college teacher of Seung Hui Cho has described him “extraordinarily lonely-one of the loneliest person she has met”. In short, many educational problems are still need to be solved.

However, compared with the education patterns past, we have taken a lot of strategies and methods to improve the quality and affectivity of education at different educational levels. At the elementary school, students are taught basic knowledge, including how to read, how to communicate with others, and so on. For students in secondary schools, teachers no longer emphasize so much on the grade as did several years before. Instead, educators focus on developing the ability of logical thinking and abstract thinking, as well as the interpersonal skills and leadership. When students come into the colleges, they can choose their own majors based on their interests freely. All of these strategies are proved to be effective and useful to satisfy the interest and need of students. From those change, we can conclude that students cultivated under new educational pattern are well-developed.

What’s more, the socialization of children does determine the destiny of society because children charge future. Since physiological analysis reported that what people learn at young time effect the characteristics of people when they get older, so the socialization of children also influence on their activities. If students are well socialized when they are children, they will have good interpersonal skills, leadership, communicative ability, and so on. Thus in global levels, many conflicts between nations may be alleviated, or else the war breaks out, which bring damage to society. Take the Second World War as and example, one reason for this war is the conflict between several countries, in which direct and indirect death of people up to 50-60 million people, the cost is as high as 50 trillion dollars, which inhibits rapid development of society.

To sum up, the extent of socialization of students determine the social development and we also have make many progress in the education of children. We trust that we must build a bright tomorrow in the future.
结尾总是写得好短，不知如何改进，谢各位板油指点。

honglingdangUID: 2436513

Have we learned well how to raise children [to be people]who can help bring a bright future? My response tends to [用得好]be that we are building good educational system. Although there are some problems existed in today education field[the recent education], well-development of students indicates that we can well accomplish the educational task of [of后面应该是任务的具体内容，任务是年轻人吗？不是，而是把年轻人培养成才。]young people in future. At the same time, we also need to realize that the socialization of children plays an important role in determining future society[the future of the society]. 我认为还是应该按照题目中的顺序，先说社会性对孩子的重要性，再说教育问题。不明白你为什么反过来说，也许有你的理由吧
   
It is true that there are some educational problems existed in this rapid developing and changing today society [in the recent society which is rapid developing and changing] because [because of] the influence of past educational pattern. In the past several years, [过去的时间为什么后面没有用过去的时态啊]educators pay much attention on [to] the development of students' intelligence, while ignore other aspects of education, accompanied with many problems;[,] among witch[which] most apparently[the most important] is communicative ability. No matter[用either更好，no matter后面跟句子] Jiajue Ma in YunNan university of China or Seung Hui Cho in Virginia Tech of United States, [of which ]the common characteristic is that they are not willing to communicate with other students. One college teacher of Seung Hui Cho has described him “extraordinarily lonely-one of the loneliest person she has met”. In short, many educational problems are still need to be solved. [这一段讲的是教学中还存在很多问题，但是除了交流的问题，别的没有提到，而且大部分的篇幅都在写交流的重要性，而最后的总结中却没有写到。]

However, compared with the education patterns [in the ]past, we have taken a lot of strategies and methods to improve the quality and affectivity [efficiency]of education at different educational levels. At the elementary school, students are taught basic knowledge, including how to read, how to communicate with others, and so on. For students in secondary schools, teachers no longer emphasize so much on the grade as did[去掉did] several years before[ago]. Instead, educators focus on developing the ability of logical thinking and abstract thinking, as well as the interpersonal skills and leadership. When students come into the colleges, they can choose their own majors based on their interests freely. All of these strategies are proved to be effective and useful to satisfy the interest and need of students. From those change, we can conclude that students cultivated [cultivated students]under new educational pattern are well-developed[would be well-developed under new educational pattern]. 这一段写的不错，言之有物，并能证明你的观点

What’s more, the socialization of children does determine the destiny of society because children charge future. Since physiological analysis reported that what people learn at young time effect the characteristics of people when they get older, so the socialization of children also influence on their activities. If students are well socialized when they are children, they will have good interpersonal skills, leadership, communicative ability, and so on. Thus in global levels, many conflicts between nations may be alleviated, or else the war breaks out,[太极端了吧] which bring damage to society. Take the Second World War as and example, one reason for this war is the conflict between several countries, in which direct and indirect death of people up to 50-60 million people, the cost is as high as 50 trillion dollars, which inhibits rapid development of society.

To sum up, the extent of socialization of students determine the social development and we also have make many progress in the education of children. We trust that we must build a bright tomorrow in the future.[这个结尾比较像中国式的作文，说我们的明天肯定会更加美好，正所谓，前途是光明的，道路是曲折的，胜利式必然的，建议多看些范文，看他们是怎么结尾的。]