issue4[Savior小组]第四次作业

macaoUID: 2404395

4、"No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."
I strongly agree with the assertion that no field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study. My points involves the fundamental objectives and nature of research, as mentioned below.
To begin with, as an example we all know, Da Vinci is famous due to his outstanding donation towards the kingdom of art. But who knows how this giant create so many unimaginative works? He learned so much knowledge from Physics Mathematics and Medicine. The physics knowledge helped him to know the use of light, the idea of Mathematics tell his the detail about the golden section to help the portraits in his paintings more beautiful. The information about Medicine help him to create muscle and bones of human beings more vivid. Just imagine, if Da Vinci knew nothing about outside world instead of painted day and night, could he be memoried hundreds of years later?
The people lived hundreds ago have learned that they should learn different fields of knowledge, is it there is a excuse that people from 21st do not learn knowledge widely. With the rapid development of our society nowadays, the world is becoming increasingly small, it means everything is relative. Any new appeared inventions need knowledge and experience from different fields. No groups and person can create things just based on one single kind of knowledge simply. As one of the most important project in 21st century, whether the Moon Discovering Project is successful depends on the scientific donations from different fields, astronomy, physics and mathematics, such kinds of knowledge must work together towards the pearl of the necklace of human's success never get across.
Furthermore ,it is necessary for us to get knowledge and experience from different fields. The students should develop entirely .As we were taught in period of child's life in school and at home, mathematics ,chemistry ,physics ,biology, all of these are the elementary for us. Individually, if one wants to make great contributions to a certain field, the first and most important thing is to master all its foundational knowledge.
In sum, isolation results in stagnation, as interconnected fields experience mutual growth and prospertity, modern studies  
require further collaboration for continued progress and success. Without supporting advances in different fields of  
knowledge and knowledge, we can not gain the success of science kingdom.

macaoUID: 2404395

TOPIC: ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
WORDS: 407          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-3-7 10:04:51

As the arguement mentioned above, the report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University advise that Professor Thomas should get a raise and promotion for three reasons:<1>Her classes are among the largest at the university,demonstrating her popularity among students;<2>the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years.<3>we fear that Professor Thomas will leave ELm City University for another college.However, I find this argue suffers from several critical reasons.

To begin with,can that her classare the largest at the university indicate that she is populy among students?I'm afriad not.There is a kind of possibilty that every student is asked to attend her class for some reasons.And another reason is that the number of students major in Botany is no less than any other subjects.Without ruling other evidences that what is students opinion upon Professor Thomas , the report can not make me agree with it any more.

Secondly,the condition happened last two years can not regarded as forecast about next year.Admittedly,with the help of Professor Thomas, Elm University's research labs gain a big bundle of money.Thanks to Professor Thomas,but what obout the research grants this year or next,the report does not provide any ralative details.The report should search evidences in order to help us judge the Professor Thomas's donation towards research grants better.

Furthermore,there is no evidence that Professor Thomas would go to another university.A good researcher would regard salary as the most important factor in one's research career.Researcher may consider the research environment and research atmosphere as the very important factor.The things researcher look for is the pearl of the science in stead of the cash.So I do not think Professor Thomas would care about the salary too much.

Finally,a good teacher may not be a good chairperson.What Professor Thomas good at is teaching ,that's why she got success in her teaching career.But we do not know wether she can get seccess in management.As we know,the successful examples did not happen often.We need a good teacher indeedly in stead of a bad controler.  

In sum,the argue can not convinced me  the basis of them that Professor Thomas should get a salary raise and a promotion.To bolter the recommention the report must spend time upon the whether the Professor Thomas would go to another university,if so,wether she's leaving is due to the poor salary,and what is his reputation among students.

macaoUID: 2404395

掐着时间写的 写的很烂 帮忙改的同学辛苦了啊 砖排的狠点

daqing431hdUID: 2320564

issue4[Savior小组]第四次作业 批改by daqing431hd

4、"No field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study."

I strongly agree with the assertion that no field of study can advance significantly unless outsiders bring their knowledge and experience to that field of study. My points involves the fundamental objectives and nature of research,（感觉这句话没有表明自己的态度） as mentioned below.

To begin with, as an example we all know, Da Vinci is famous due to（for） his outstanding donation towards the kingdom of art.（开头最好是中心句概括一下，表明本段的中心内容） But who knows how this giant create so many unimaginative works?（意思有问题） He learned（时态是不是应该用过去完成时） so much knowledge from（about） Physics Mathematics and Medicine. The physics knowledge helped him to know the use of（how to use) the light, the idea of Mathematics tell(与前面的时态应该保持一致) his(him) the detail about the golden section to help the portraits in his paintings more beautiful. The information about Medicine help him to create muscle and bones of human beings more vivid(比如make sth 形容词,这样的句式可以,create 用的是否恰当). Just imagine, if Da Vinci knew nothing about outside world instead of painted day and night, could he be memoried hundreds of years later?结尾句感觉应该再扣题
The people (who) lived hundreds (years) ago have learned that they should learn different fields of knowledge, is it there is a excuse that people from 21st do not learn knowledge widely(这句话语法错误)? With the rapid development of our society nowadays, the world is becoming increasingly small, it means everything is relative. Any new appeared inventions need knowledge and experience from different fields. No groups and person can create things just based on one single kind of knowledge simply. As one of the most important project in 21st century, whether the Moon Discovering Project is successful depends on the scientific donations from different fields, (such as)astronomy, physics and mathematics, such kinds of knowledge must work together towards the pearl of the necklace of human's success(这句挺好) never get across.(我感觉中心句中提到了,很早人们就知道了学习要多学科合作,也可以举一些这方面的例子)
Furthermore ,it is necessary for us to get knowledge and experience from different fields. The students should develop entirely .As we were taught in period of child's life in school and at home,(with) mathematics ,chemistry ,physics ,biology, all of these are the elementary for us. Individually, if one wants to make great contributions to a certain field, the first and most important thing is to master all its foundational knowledge.(最后一句没有扣题,可以说孩子的教育也是需要多个学科同时进行)
In sum, isolation results in stagnation, as interconnected fields experience mutual growth and prospertity,(我们没有看明白句子的成分) modern studies  
require further collaboration for continued progress and success. Without supporting advances in different fields of  
knowledge and knowledge, we can not gain the success of science kingdom.
感觉文章的逻辑层次不是太清晰,你可以按学科领域来说,如艺术方面情况是怎么样,科学方面是怎么样等,这样展开会有点层次.而且文章我觉得最后段应该让步一下,自己的结论不能下的太绝对,承认自己的分析也是有不足的地方,这样显得更加客观.本人水平有限,请多包涵!共同努力!

daqing431hdUID: 2320564

TOPIC: ARGUMENT140 - The following appeared in a report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University.

"During her seventeen years as a professor of botany, Professor Thomas has proved herself to be well worth her annual salary of $50,000. Her classes are among the largest at the university, demonstrating her popularity among students. Moreover, the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years. Therefore, in consideration of Professor Thomas' demonstrated teaching and research abilities, we recommend that she receive a $10,000 raise and a promotion to Department Chairperson; without such a raise and promotion, we fear that Professor Thomas will leave Elm City University for another college."
WORDS: 407          TIME: 00:30:00          DATE: 2008-3-7 10:04:51

As the arguement mentioned above, the report of the Committee on Faculty Promotions and Salaries at Elm City University advises that Professor Thomas should get a raise and promotion for three reasons:<1>Her classes are among the largest at the university,demonstrating her popularity among students;<2>the money she has brought to the university in research grants has exceeded her salary in each of the last two years.<3>we fear that Professor Thomas will leave ELm City University for another college.However, I find this argue suffers from several critical reasons.

To begin with,can that her classare the largest at the university (which) indicates that she is populy among students?I'm afriad not.There is a kind of possibilty that every student is asked to attend her class for some reasons.And another reason is that the number of students major in Botany is no less than any other subjects.Without ruling other evidences that what is students opinion (单负数)upon Professor Thomas , the report can not make me agree with it any more.

Secondly,the condition(描述一下)主语从句that,不能省略 happened last two years can not regarded as forecast about next year.Admittedly,with the help of Professor Thomas, Elm University's research labs gain a big bundle of money.Thanks to Professor Thomas,but what obout the research grants this year or next,the report does not provide any ralative details.The report should search evidences in order to help us judge the Professor Thomas's donation towards research grants better.(论证不是很充分,分析一下其他的可能性)

Furthermore,there is no evidence that Professor Thomas would go to another university.A good researcher would regard salary as the most important factor in one's research career.(应该让步)Researcher may consider the research environment and research atmosphere as the very important factors.The things researcher look for is the pearl of the science in stead of the cash.So I do not think Professor Thomas would care about the salary too much.还是要多分析其他的可能因素

Finally,a good teacher may not be a good chairperson.What Professor Thomas good at is teaching ,that's why she got success in her teaching career.But we do not know wether she can get seccess in management.As we know,the successful examples did not happen often.We need a good teacher indeedly in stead of a bad controler. (句子之间的连贯性不是很好,分析一下可能性)

In sum,the argue can not convinced me  the basis of them that Professor Thomas should get a salary raise and a promotion.To bolter the recommention the report must spend time upon the whether the Professor Thomas would go to another university,if so,wether she's leaving is due to the poor salary,and what is his reputation among students.
文章以逻辑错误出现的先后顺序开始攻击,感觉还是应该弄清主要错误进行攻击更有说服力,结论是应该这个教授提高待遇,出现这样的结论就是假设了这个教授对她的待遇不满,或者其他学校给他了优厚的待遇来挖他.我感觉这方面可能是最重要的,然后再攻击论据中的错误.我逻辑分析能力也不是很好,只是个人的建议,请多包涵!文中有语法和单词拼写的错,请注意

macaoUID: 2404395

非常感谢 共同努力