大作文诚心求拍，谢

lianzi1981UID: 2467765

剑桥雅思四的作文：论幸福
Write about the following topic:
Happiness is considered very important in life.
Why is it difficult to define?
What factors are important in achieving happiness?

Happiness
Everyone hopes to get happiness, but many of us don’t know whether they are happy or not. Happiness is such a wonderful thing that it is indispensable to our everyday lives; on the contrary, we can’t exactly express what happiness is. Therefore, it is very important for us to ask how to define happiness and how to be happy.

It is undeniable that to say what is happiness is quite a complicated problem for all of us. Happiness is a kind of spiritual substance and can’t be recognized directly, unlike those material things such as money and places, which are easy to appreciate and acquire. Moreover, happiness, like sadness and disappointment, is one kind of our emotional feelings. There are different types of happiness to different people, and to particular person, one’s sense of happy will change according to the development of circumstances and conditions.

Happiness is an indispensable thing to us. To our ordinary people, what we suppose to do to acquire the sense of happiness? In my opinion, two aspects of things are very crucial. First, we should try our best to know ourselves. The more we understand what are most important to ourselves, the easier for us to live a happy life. Second, we should learn to be sociable. If we actively take part in various social activities and experience diverse ways of living, we will deeply appreciate the world’s beauty and how colorful it is, which is useful for us to find happiness.

In conclusion, to be happy is an important thing for us and we all deserve to get happiness. We must obtain more knowledge about both our own lives and the outside world, so that we could eventually know what happiness is.

forbeckUID: 2297645

up~~~~~~~~

67169619UID: 2320695

你老是up
都不动手改
加个分都好咯

嗯，看来鸭子版作文互该的气氛不好，有一部分原因是你这个斑斑带头的。

晕，我说这话得罪了版主，要逃走鸟:funk: :mad

lianzi1981UID: 2467765

是呀，帮偶提些意见吧，多谢多谢啦:loveliness:

nbdxkfqUID: 2427134

1. Everyone hopes to get happiness, but many of us don’t know whether they are happy or not. （Indeed,）Happiness is such a wonderful thing that it is indispensable to our everyday lives; on the contrary, we can’t exactly express what happiness is. Therefore, it is very important for us to ask how to define happiness and how to be happy.
   
2. 
   
3. It is undeniable that to say what is happiness is quite a complicated problem for all of us. Happiness is a kind of spiritual substance and can’t(据说最好不要用缩写，直接写成cannot可能会比较好点) be recognized directly, unlike those material， things such as money and places, which are easy to appreciate and acquire. Moreover, happiness, like sadness and disappointment, is one kind of our emotional feelings. There are different types of happiness to different people, and to particular person, one’s sense of happy （下面用的是sense of happiness，我不知道是否这里可以用sense of happy） will change according to the development of circumstances and conditions.
   
4. 
   
5. Happiness is an indispensable thing to us. To our ordinary people, what we suppose to do to acquire the sense of happiness? In my opinion, two aspects of things are very crucial. First, we should try our best to know ourselves. The more we understand what are most important to ourselves, the easier for us to live a happy life. Second, we should learn to be sociable. If we actively take part in various social activities and experience diverse ways of living, we will deeply appreciate the world’s beauty and how colorful it is, which is useful for us to find happiness.
   
6. 
   
7. In conclusion, to be happy is an important thing for us and we all deserve to get happiness. We must obtain more knowledge about both our own lives and the outside world, so that we could eventually know what happiness is.

复制代码

由于我自己也是5.5的水平,所以帮你看了下,写了几个我觉得不是很合适的地方,但是我不能保证我写的也是对的,所以仅供参考,但是我觉得楼主貌似在连接词上似乎少了点,我觉得还可以再填加一点,比如第一段那个,我觉得可以加个indeed来强调一下感情什么的,中间两个段的开头似乎可以加点连接词,不知道这样对不对,

语法我也不知道,所以没有改,怕越改越错,单词貌似没有写错的,嘿嘿

如果修改有错误的地方希望楼主谅解~~~~

祝楼主越来越强~~~

forbeckUID: 2297645

说实话，我觉得看完剑桥那片关于幸福感的作文，自己就想不出更好的观点了~~~