issue17-[超越自我小组]第一次作业

啊拉UID: 2527432

题目：ISSUE17 - "There are two types of laws: just and unjust. Every individual in a society has a responsibility to obey just laws and, even more importantly, to disobey and resist unjust laws."
字数：527          用时：01:00:00          日期：2008-8-5 21:48:19

From the nomadic tribe to modern society, laws play absolutely important roles in all kinds of societies. Everyone in the world should be restricted by some kinds of laws like the constitution or criminal law, but I believe that it is even more importantly to disobey and resist unjust laws.

First, everyone needs to express the opinion if they meet some unjust things, so as the laws. People always hope the laws to be just, or at least they can afford or accept. Whoever want to destroy this kind of equipment and justice will be punished by the entire society. In ancient China, when it comes to the end of every dynasty, I find an interesting thing that most of the kings in such time raised up the tax rate. We can imagine it clearly that the farmers need to give more food and the business man needs to pay more money. When the people can no longer afford the heavy tax to the government although the government still force them to do so, farmers and workers through away their tools and took up the weapons. They believed they would be perish if they still obey the unjust tax laws, so they choose to revolt. The end of the governments were always the seem: to be replaced and overthrowed.

Second, only obey the laws can lead to some problems. As the former president of England Churchill has ever said (and I paraphrased that):"A society without revolution and objections cannot be improved. I choose to war in order to win back the right for my people to disobey me." We can infer from this sentence that laws also need objections or revolution. That is to say, if all the people in the society only know to obey the laws acted by the government, the entire society may not make any progress any more. As the same, if all the people in the society lose their right to disobey the unjust laws, the government may be more and tougher and enact other unjust laws. So the biggest loser in this game can only be the people and we come back to the slavery time ---- all we need to do and should to do is just obey the government.

Admittedly, people should obey the just laws like the constitution or the criminal laws because everyone in the world needs a feeling of safe and pacific, and the just laws can restrain all of us to be civil. And of course most of the just laws can be accepted by most people. But if the laws like the "slavery laws" can only be accepted only by parts of the people, the other ones need to show their brave and anger and to disobey and resist these laws, or perhaps we can still find slaveries in America.

In sum, I agree everyone in a society need to obey the just laws to fulfill one's obligations. But it is even more importantly for all of us to disobey and resist unjust laws to fulfill our rights. Only do both of them can a person to be called a qualified citizen.

写得好慢...要重新找找感觉咯~

[ 本帖最后由 啊拉 于 2008-8-5 23:28 编辑 ]

cartographer08UID: 2523568

建议加入的{ }
修改的 [ ]

From the nomadic tribe to {the} modern society, laws play absolutely important roles in all kinds of societies. Everyone in the world should be restricted by some kinds of laws like the constitution or criminal law (宪法和刑法是立国之本！), but I believe that it is even more importantly to disobey and resist unjust laws.

First, everyone needs to express the opinion if they meet some unjust things, so as the laws. People always hope the laws to be just, or at least they can afford or accept. Whoever want to destroy this kind of [basis] (equipment是装备的意思，这里是要表达？) and justice will be punished by the entire society. In ancient China, when it comes to the end of every dynasty, I find an interesting thing that most of the kings in such time raised up the tax rate. We can imagine it clearly that the farmers need to give more food and the business man needs to pay more money. When the people can no longer afford the heavy tax to the government although the government still force them to do so, farmers and workers through away their tools and took up the weapons. (这句太长了，在Word里是语法错误……，稍微分割一下， the heavy tax set by the government, and the government still force them to pay; then…)They believed they would be perish (perish换个词表达比较好，工作到累死：work themselves to death) if they still obey the unjust tax laws, so they choose to revolt. The end of the governments were (was) always the seem (same?): to be replaced and overthrowed (overturn, 颠覆). (这句有点儿chinglish?)

Second, only obey the laws can lead to some problems. (Only…can… 意思和要表达的不一致吧，Just好一些) As the former president of England Churchill has ever said (and I paraphrased that):"A society without revolution and objections cannot be improved. I choose to war in order to win back the right for my people to disobey me." We can infer from this sentence that laws also need objections or revolution. That is to say, if all the people in the society only know to obey the laws acted by the government, the entire society may not make any progress any more. As (At) the same, if all the people in the society lose their right to disobey the unjust laws, the government may be more and tougher and enact other unjust laws. So the biggest loser in this game can only be the people and we come back to the slavery time ---- all we need to do and should to do is just obey the government.

Admittedly, people should obey the just laws like the constitution or the criminal laws because everyone in the world needs a feeling of safe and pacific, and the just laws can restrain all of us to be civil (这句有点chinglish; 改一下比较好). And of course most of the just laws can be accepted by most people. But if the laws like the "slavery laws" can only be accepted only by parts of the people, the other ones need to show their brave and anger (愤怒？) and {take actions} to disobey and resist these laws, or perhaps we can still find slaveries in America. (这句的意思明白，但是逻辑有点儿混乱感觉)

In sum, I agree everyone in a society need to obey the just laws to fulfill one's obligations. But it is even more importantly for all of us to disobey and resist unjust laws to fulfill our rights. Only do both of them can a person to be called a qualified citizen.

总结：
1. 行文比较流畅，除了一些小的bug
2. 感觉里面几个句子观点很好，但是需要再修改一下
3. 每段都有具体例子很好，农民反抗暴君统治的，Churchill的话，美国黑奴的
（个人观点，水平有限，仅供参考）

写得挺快的了，我的这篇花了2小时……还是那个样子，都不好意思说
总之加油！！
提出一些拙见，也是我学习的结果，呵呵

cartographer08UID: 2523568

哎呀，好像顺序错了……
应该改的是：
鸡  zugurrr
狗  liuyanggz
不好意思……

cartographer08UID: 2523568

ID：啊拉~(狗)

什么时候改的顺序？那就是说没改错了:confused:

zugurrrUID: 2482827

From the nomadic tribe to modern society, laws play absolutely important roles in all kinds of societies. Everyone in the world should be restricted by some kinds of laws like the constitution or criminal law, but I believe that it is even more important to disobey and resist unjust laws.

First, everyone needs to express the opinion if they meet some unjust things, so as the laws. People always hope the laws to be just, or at least they can afford or accept. Whoever want to destroy this kind of equality and justice will be punished by the entire society. In ancient China, when it comes to the end of every dynasty, I find an interesting thing that most of the kings in such time raised up the tax rate. We can imagine it clearly that the farmers need to give more food and the business man needs to pay more money. When the people can no longer afford the heavy tax to the government although the government still forced them to do so, farmers and workers throw away their tools and took up the weapons. They believed they would be perished if they still obey the unjust tax laws, so they choose to revolt. The ends of the governments were always the same: to be replaced and overthrowed.
Ts: everyone needs to express the opinion if they meet some unjust things, so as the laws.它和你的总观点it is even more important to disobey and resist unjust laws 的逻辑关系我实在是找不出来。而且好像分论点的范围更大些，因为disobey只是express的一种。
论据：我的浅薄理解是：谁要破坏公正法律就被惩罚。古代中国皇帝加税，农民反抗，帝国崩溃。首先它怎么来说明分论点”everyone need express”. 这么作，和需要这么作应该有区别的，如果我没说清我就在给你打个比方：TS：人们需要表达自己对不平法律的观点 论据：不平法律下人们表达愤怒观点。如果换个角度，不平法律是对人们合法利益的侵犯，所以人们需要反对它，我觉的就更明了了。再者，你的论据和明总论点：不遵守不公平法律更重要的逻辑关系我也没找到。（因为皇帝加税，所以人民不遵守不平法律跟重要，似乎不合逻辑）

     

Second, only obey the laws can lead to some problems. As the former president of England Churchill has ever said (and I paraphrased that):"A society without revolution and objections cannot be improved. I choose to war in order to win back the right for my people to disobey me." We can infer from this sentence that laws also need objections or revolution. That is to say, if all the people in the society only know to obey the laws acted by the government, the entire society may not make any progress any more. As the same, if all the people in the society lose their right to disobey the unjust laws, the government may be tougher and enact other moreunjust laws. So the biggest loser in this game can only be the people and we come back to the slavery time ---- all we need to do and should to do is just obey the government.
Ts：lead to some problems 但我找不到problem在下文哪。
我想丘吉尔的话要说的是革命和目标，而不是反抗他。
还有就是观点有点绝对，难道unjust law非得用disobey 来对抗么？

Admittedly, people should obey the just laws like the constitution or the criminal laws because everyone in the world needs a feeling of safe and pacific, and the just laws can restrain all of us to be civil. And of course most of the just laws can be accepted by most people. But if the laws like the "slavery laws" can only be accepted only by parts of the people, the other ones need to show their brave and anger and to disobey and resist these laws, otherwise perhaps we can still find slaveries in America.

In sum, I agree everyone in a society need to obey the just laws to fulfill one's obligations. But it is even more importantly for all of us to disobey and resist unjust laws to fulfill our rights. Only do both of them can a person to be called a qualified citizen.
你的语言已经超出我能修改的能力的，我找出的问题都是我个人的观点也学不成熟
如果你觉的哪些太牵强，请不必理会哈