argument110 超越自我小组 第二次作业

vryUID: 2288609

argument110
The following appeared in a memo from the Principal of Sherwood Junior High School.
"It appears that the lighting in Sherwood High's classrooms, which have large windows but minimal overhead light sources, is impairing student academic performance and teacher morale. Records show that during December and January, the two months with the fewest hours of daylight, attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. Teacher resignations are also highest during these months. According to a study of Tundra Vocational School, which experiences entire seasons with little daylight, students' grade point averages increased when Day Glow light bulbs, which mimic sunlight, were installed in classrooms. This study suggests that Sherwood can improve students' academic performance and teachers' morale by using Day Glow light bulbs in winter."



For the purpose of improving student's academic performance and teachers' morale, the passage found possible causal factors and suggested using Day Glow light bulbs in winter, with several points to sustain. However, adoption of that needs more considerations and rationalization.

The feature of the classrooms of Sherwood High is described as having large windows but minimal overhead light sources. However, it is not inevitable that lacking of light sources leads to the bothering problems. Windows could sometimes be harmful. The surrounding of the school was not given in the passage, and if the classrooms are set with windows facing busy streets or the play ground of the school, large windows would in some sense urge students to look outwards, which might distract the attention of them and worsen the academic performance. If that is true, putting up curtains or shutters on the windows are adequate to improve the situation. Moreover, minimal overhead light sources does not necessarily mean insufficient of them. The device to take advantage of the sunlight and reduce the power cost can decrease the school expenses and tuition fee. And it can be an example of thrift. The school need to be sure whether such design has cause reading and teaching problems. It is hasty to add any new light bulbs until the investigation comes to a negative outcome.

Moreover, it is recorded that December and January are the two most worst month of behaviors of both students and teachers. However, we should be aware of the fact that most schools in west countries have vacation on these two month because of Christmas and the low temperature. Mostly Kids and adults will be preoccupied by other things such as parties, movies, and will pay less attention to the courses. The school board should notice this and take into concern of the arrangement of courses. And if the courses in such period are mostly selective ones, it can be regular that the attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. The school can adjust the curriculum for other easier classes. When the behaviors of students are improved, teachers may change their attitude of the school and choose to stay.

The case of Tundra Vocational School is quite different from the one of Sherwood High. Classrooms of Tundra Vocational really need bulbs. And there may be other factors that improve the academic performance when the bulbs were installed or changed for Day Glow. Maybe an improvement of syllabus was applied.

The school should study more reference of the local schools that share the same sunlight condition to find out the answer. Do those schools use Day Glow bulbs or not? Are there other schools that use Day Glow show the improvements with similar conditions? Are the teacher resignations high in other schools in this two month? After these, the school board would have a better understand of the solution of the problem.

欢迎拍砖~~~

hermituforestUID: 2354296

For the purpose of improving student's academic performance and teachers' morale, the passage found possible causal factors and suggested using Day Glow light bulbs in winter, with several points to sustain. However, adoption of that needs more considerations and rationalization.

The feature of the classrooms of Sherwood High is described as having large windows but minimal overhead light sources. However, it is not inevitable that lacking of light sources leads to the bothering problems. Windows could sometimes be harmful. The surrounding of the school was not given in the passage, and if the classrooms are set with windows facing busy streets or the play ground of the school, large windows would in some sense urge students to look outwards, which might distract the attention of them and worsen the academic performance. If that is true, putting up curtains or shutters on the windows are adequate to improve the situation. Moreover, minimal overhead light sources does not necessarily mean insufficient of them. The device to take advantage of the sunlight and reduce the power cost can decrease the school expenses and tuition fee. And it can be an example of thrift. The school need to be sure whether such design has cause reading and teaching problems. It is hasty to add any new light bulbs until the investigation comes to a negative outcome.

Moreover, it is recorded that December and January are the two most worst month of behaviors of both students and teachers. However, we should be aware of the fact that most schools in west countries have vacation on these two month（s） because of Christmas and the low temperature. Mostly Kids and adults will be preoccupied by other things such as parties, movies, and will pay less attention to the courses. The school board should notice this and take into concern of the arrangement of courses. And if the courses in such period are mostly selective ones, it can be regular that the attendance rates fall, average daily class participation drops, and grades decline. The school can adjust the curriculum for other easier classes. When the behaviors of students are improved, teachers may change their attitude of the school and choose to stay.

The case of Tundra Vocational School is quite different from the one of Sherwood High. Classrooms of Tundra Vocational really need bulbs. And there may be other factors that improve the academic performance when the bulbs were installed or changed for Day Glow. Maybe an improvement of syllabus was applied.（这段不好~看上去想好似论证不充分。。。到这里当然可以略写。。不过看上去要想是。。“当然。。还有很多错误诸如。。。都使speaker的assertion没有说服力。。。不能像这样看上去像是没有论证充分的分论点）

The school should study more reference of the local schools that share the same sunlight condition to find out the answer. Do those schools use Day Glow bulbs or not? Are there other schools that use Day Glow show the improvements with similar conditions? Are the teacher resignations high in other schools in this two month? After these, the school board would have a better understand of the solution of the problem.

欣赏~

一点意见
1、语言真的非常好。。。我实力不行了。。。
2、怎么感觉有点像ISSUE的感觉？批得不够狠
3、还是说注意结构
4、加油。。。能得6