COMMON 作文小组9.4号作业－yangkeli22

yangkeli22UID: 2360405

9.4号
你认为接下来20年汽车的使用会不会减少？2006 年10 月8 日 技术进步类
The emergence of the car shorten the different places even countries' distance. People even like to own a car for the convinient of travel around at weekend with their families. Some families even have several cars for different uses. The explosion of knowledge added to the development of science and the science, in its turn, influence every aspects of human life. In this condition, I hold the opinion that the following 20 years will witness the decrease use of the cars.
First, the development of science and technology require more energy. Nowadays, people use more and more electronical products, like televition, computer and so on; they use more and more auto-products, like mobile phone, car, air plane etc. All of those comfortable people quite, but they all cost energy. In the following 20 years, undoubtly, the use of energy will be amount. While, on the contrary, the energy stored in the earth is decreasing dramatically. The shockage of energy will force government limit the use of cars, in particular personal cars, in order to limit the use of energy and the pollution of gas.
Second, scientists will use ways to innovate new vehical for transportation. Like the invent of Hover-craft, the scientists only want to make the ships sail without the impede force of water, therefore, he use air jets to push the "ship" from the water and increase the hover-craft' speed up to 300M.P.H. That is the revolution invent in transportation. In this new society, as the combined disciplines, scientists will have more ideas to invent new,efficient vehicals for people to use when travel to different places.Now the technologics and ways are good enough to creat new auto-products for people to use.
Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I can come to a conclusion that the use of cars in the follwing 20 years will decrease.

namejoeUID: 2373013

9.4号留学,考试,TOEFL,GRE,GMAT,IELTS,SAT,VISA,文书,签证,论坛,出国,申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA)Cu } ^8d
j K
你认为接下来20年汽车的使用会不会减少？2006 年10 月8 日 技术进步类|留学|签证|TOEFL|GREY;zM4I9R"U
The emergence of the car shorten the different places even countries' distance. People even like to own a car for the convinient of travel around at weekend with their families. Some families even have several cars for different uses. The explosion of knowledge added to the development of science and the science, in its turn, influences every aspects of human life. In this condition, I hold the opinion that the following 20 years will witness(nice) the decrease use of the cars..G8u\!b        vvBn(@B
First, the development of science and technology require more energy. Nowadays, people use more and more electronical products, like televition, computer and so on; they use more and more auto-products, like mobile phone, car, air plane etc. All of those comfortable people quite 没有动词, but they all cost energy. In the following 20 years, undoubtly, the use of energy will be amount. While, on the contrary, the energy stored in the earth is decreasing dramatically. The shockage of energy will force government limit the use of cars--why cars? 而不是前面提到的products?, in particular personal cars, in order to limit the use of energy and the pollution of gas.

Second, scientists will use ways to innovate new vehical for transportation. Like the invent of Hover-craft, the scientists only want to make the ships sail without the impede force of water, therefore, he -they use air jets to push the "ship" from the water and increase the hover-craft' speed up to 300M.P.H. That is the revolution invent in transportation. In this new society, as the combined disciplines, scientists will have more ideas to invent new,efficient vehicals for people to use when travel to different places.Now the technologics and ways are good enough to creat new auto-products for people to use. 即使说有新的交通工具诞生,但如果说明这必然导致汽车使用的减少呢?
Eu(M\rm{        E.S
Based on the reasons I mentioned above, I can come to a conclusion that the use of cars in the follwing 20 years will decrease.

总体结构比较完整,语法错误较少,但两段论述均存在一个致命问题:并没有很有的论证主题. LZ要在关键部分多加论述
PS: 昨天晚上交作业交的晚,今天上午还有实验,所以改的迟了,敬请谅解.

yangkeli22UID: 2360405

哦，在论述第一段主要是想说现在太多的电器产品都是消耗能源的，而因为能源的短缺导致政府限制私家车。
说的是啊，这两段尤其是第二段的论述没能很好的说明问题，新交通工具的诞生并不代表汽车使用会减少，这个用的牵强，又不具有说服力。
感谢提出的意见！:handshake