Argument65 [FF小组]第二次作业 by oyhd

oyhdUID: 2490181

65.The following appeared in a memo from the president of a chain of
cheese stores located throughout the United States.
"For many years all the stores in our chain have stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses. Last year, however, the five best-selling cheeses at our newest store were all domestic cheddar cheeses from Wisconsin. Furthermore, a recent survey by Cheeses of the World magazine indicates an increasing preference for domestic cheeses among its subscribers. Since our company can reduce expenses by limiting inventory, the best way to improve profits in all of our stores is to discontinue stocking many of our varieties of imported cheese and concentrate primarily on domestic cheeses."


The memo above is well-presented , however ,there are some facets that are questionable. The assumption that domestic cheeses sell more than imported cheeses are illogical. For the fact that the five best -selling cheeses in our newest store are domestic cannot present the situation of all the cheese .In addition ,the survey alone cannot be a sound evidence for it lack some information , And without analysis of both expense and income we cannot accept the conclusion that we can improve profits by discontinuing stocking imported cheese and focus on domestic cheese.

To begin with ,the five best-selling domestic cheeses at our newest store cannot be a sound evidence to persuade us that domestic sold better than those imported .For there is no information can prove that the situation of other stores of ours are the same. It is entirely possible that the residents near our new store like the tastes of domestic cheeses very much , however , in other areas  there are few people have the same favor. Thus ,the five best-selling cheeses in our rest stores are all those imported. If this was the case ,the assumption that the domestic chesses sold more than imported is quite doubtful.

Admitting that the five best-selling cheeses at all of our stores are domestic ones, we also can not accept that  assumption. The chief reason is that we stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses ,thus the five kinds of cheeses are only a small part among them. Even the five best-selling are domestic cheeses ,the total sales of the cheeses of domestic is less than the imported cheeses. In addition ,  the fact that preference for domestic cheeses are increasing according to the resent survey cannot be a profound support to the claim .Perhaps even the preference for domestic cheeses are increasing now ,the imported ones are more popular .Those two scenarios ,if true , can cast serious doubt on the author’s assumption.

Even assuming that the domestic sold more than imported , the claim that we can improve profits by not stocking imported cheeses are also irrational. We are able to reduce expenses by limiting inventory , however ,the income brought by the imported cheeses are also decreasing .It is quite possible that the  income of the domestic are great. That means the profit of imported are so large that even though the imported cheeses sell less, the total profit of those cheeses are much larger than the domestic ones. If so ,what we should do is to stop stocking domestic cheeses not the imported.  While the author do not provide a insightful analysis of the total benefit between the domestic and imported cheeses, we cannot simply agree about that claim.

To sum up ,the author fail to provide enough evidence that can help us evaluate the memo better. To bolster his claim , the author should give us more information about the situation about cheese-selling in all our stores. In addition , we need  a profit contrast between the domestic and the imported cheeses to draw the final conclusion.

crazy_calmUID: 2260690

我之前都没看过argument，所以不好改得太直接，我就说说作为一个读者的感觉:)

几个大的错误LZ都找出来了，但我看的时候发现很多LZ假设的地方没有用假设的标志词，所以看上去就像是在陈述事实一样，这样不好。因为本来就是在挑别人的错，结果让读者还对你的话的可靠性质疑。
下面两处标红的我没看懂或者觉得说的有欠缺。后面那一个我估计是打错词了。。。
最后就是LZ想用让步的方法挑错，但是我觉得有个连接不好，标蓝的地方，最后that指的是什么，乍看到这儿读者容易糊涂，还要到上一段中去找。

The memo above is well-presented , however ,there are some facets that are questionable. The assumption that domestic cheeses sell more than imported cheeses are illogical. For the fact that the five best -selling cheeses in our newest store are domestic cannot present the situation of all the cheese .In addition ,the survey alone cannot be a sound evidence for it lack some information , And without analysis of both expense and income we cannot accept the conclusion that we can improve profits by discontinuing stocking imported cheese and focus on domestic cheese.

To begin with ,the five best-selling domestic cheeses at our newest store cannot be a sound evidence to persuade us that domestic sold better than those imported .For there is no information can prove that the situation of other stores of ours are the same. It is entirely possible that the residents near our new store like the tastes of domestic cheeses very much , however , in other areas  there are few people have the same favor. Thus ,the five best-selling cheeses in our rest stores are all those imported. If this was the case ,the assumption that the domestic chesses sold more than imported is quite doubtful.

Admitting that the five best-selling cheeses at all of our stores are domestic ones, we also can not accept that  assumption.The chief reason is that we stocked a wide variety of both domestic and imported cheeses ,thus the five kinds of cheeses are only a small part among them. Even the five best-selling are domestic cheeses ,the total sales of the cheeses of domestic is less than the imported cheeses. In addition ,  the fact that preference for domestic cheeses are increasing according to the resent survey cannot be a profound support to the claim .Perhaps even the preference for domestic cheeses are increasing now ,the imported ones are more popular .Those two scenarios ,if true , can cast serious doubt on the author’s assumption.

Even assuming that the domestic sold more than imported , the claim that we can improve profits by not stocking imported cheeses are also irrational. We are able to reduce expenses by limiting inventory , however ,the income brought by the imported cheeses are also decreasing .It is quite possible that the  income of the domestic are great. That means the profit of imported are so large that even though the imported cheeses sell less, the total profit of those cheeses are much larger than the domestic ones. If so ,what we should do is to stop stocking domestic cheeses not the imported.  While the author do not provide a insightful analysis of the total benefit between the domestic and imported cheeses, we cannot simply agree about that claim.

To sum up ,the author fail to provide enough evidence that can help us evaluate the memo better. To bolster his claim , the author should give us more information about the situation about cheese-selling in all our stores. In addition , we need  a profit contrast between the domestic and the imported cheeses to draw the final conclusion.

oyhdUID: 2490181

的确,我假设词用的不好.可能是因为我虚拟语气学的不太好.我会注意的.
不过连接的问题,我不知道咋办,如果把ASSUMPTION写出来会不会太罗嗦?