20天托福110分复习计划，由于另一个帖子楼数太高，现在本帖也开始为各位改作文

amber1230UID: 2600679

趁热打铁。

Agree or disagree : it is more important to have the rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to work and school.　

In my view, I disagree with that point that it is important to have the rules about the types of clothing that people are allowed to work and school. In other words, it is not important for crew to wear working clothing and for students to dress school clothing. A research result reveals that 75.6% people dislike the work clothing and 80.5% students hate their school clothing. There are three main reasons presented in the questionnaires as follows.

First, working clothing and school clothing both are ugly. On the one hand, their color is dark. For example, when I was a student from elementary school to university, the color of my school clothing changed from dark red to dark blue, then to blue, last to dark blue. On the other hand, the style is out-dated. For instance, in my current company, the working clothing is so unfashionable, even like the style in eighties, and is so big, like sack. It can clearly be seen that working clothing and school clothing is not appealing because of the dark color and the old fashion.

Second, people want to wear what they want to wear freely. As we know, averagely, one worker spends 80% time per year in company; one student takes above 80% time per year in school. If they are demanded to wear working or school clothing, can you believe they almost have no time to enjoy their new clothing that they like. So everyone eager to wear what they want to wear any time whenever and wherever possible.

Furthermore, dressing working/school clothing lowers people’s work/study enthusiasm. There is no denying that when people wear the clothing that they dislike, they feel bad. In other words, owing to the bad clothing that they are wearing they have bad mood. Seriously, the bad mood leads to that they cannot focus on working/studying. Hence, probably, they lose the interest of working/studying.

Considering what I have discussed, it can be found constraining the types of clothing in company and school is not important. If the company and school can realize this point, that will be helpful and meaningful for the development of the company and school.

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

211# amber1230 首先，你这篇文章的主题抓的挺准的，至少第一段是这样。这篇文章的问题主要有两个：
1，数字举例：最好能说明出处，要不然很容易导致低分。像第一段中的数字，还是少出现得好。
2，举例方式：要么用一个例子，然后稍微详细，要么就写几个简单的例子并排。你第二段中的例子很失败，虽然例子写的不错，但是例子太多，写的太细，忽略了议论。

amber1230UID: 2600679

非常谢谢

daney68UID: 2582640

199# daney68  你的文章的例子和文章组织已经挺好了，没有有太大的失误。下一步你可以尝试把题库里的作文题目拿来读一下，不用些什么文章，之需要拿来每个都看一下，然后考虑一下就好，写一下第一段就行了。通过你这 ...
腾格里旅狼 发表于 2009-4-19 09:47

非常感谢你的建议还有鼓励。

PS：刚刚看到已经成版主了，祝贺一下:)

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

214# daney68 谢谢，有作文再发上来就好。

RodrushUID: 2571660

对于楼主的耐心和奉献精神十分震惊！和佩服！
恳请楼主帮我也看看。。。因为本身基础太差，实在是没有底。。。谢谢！！

Whether it is abeneficial to make an important decision along is a prevalent issue undergoingserious debate. Some people claim that a person ought to make the decision byhimself, while others maintain the opposite view. After pondering the opinionfor several aspects, personally, I vote to the latter opinion, which is that itis better to make decision by following some suggestions from others. Myarguments for this view are based on the following points.

Firstly, Making aright decision alone at one time is difficult for most of the people,especially for the children. Sometimes, children have fewer experiences thantheir parents. For instance, when I finish my high school study, I shouldchoose the university and major on my own. Then, I found it is too difficultfor me, and I totally have no idea about which one should I choose. I didn'tknow the current situation and the further development of one profession.However, my parents advised me to choose the major Landscape Architecture,which I found really suitable for me later.

What is more,everyone would make mistakes. And the suggestion from other people will helpthem to avoid the mistake. They will benefit from other's opinion and make theright decision for the important thing in their lives. If someone who don'tcare about other's advice and just dwell on his own world,
he will make decisions alone all the time. Andthe decision may hard to accept by most of the people. As a consequence, hewill miss the significant things and lose the important chance in hislife.

Admittedly, makingdecisions alone also has its own advantage. As a proverb said, "everythinghas two sides." the extreme manifestation of the fact is that the truthalways be known to minority. Some people claim that everyone should have thisability in the case we could not be helped from others. I partly agree with it.

Of course, we cannotdeny that there are some drawbacks of making decision by following other'ssuggestion. But if these factors have been considered, we will find that theadvantage of making decision by following the suggestion is outweigh than thoseof making decision along. Therefore, we may draw the conclusion that it isbetter to make an important decision by following suggestions from out parentsor friend.

hanyi11UID: 2596263

66. Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.  

People hold opposite opinions about the issue that whether classmates are a more important influence than parents on a child's success in school .Both of them play a crucial role in a child's in school.But ,personally, I would like to say parents are of more importance in child's success.Firstly, as we know,parents company their child since they are born which means parents' characters deeply affect their child's attitudes towards life including studying.For instance,my father is quite responsible for his job which gives me a deep impression and I, as well as him, would try my best to accomplish my work prefectly.

What's more,most students would turn to parents when they are in trouble and obviously parents will spare no effort to aid their child.During this process, parents could have a better understanding of the child as well as help him/her gain confidence which in the end both of them may get a feeling of secure from each other. However,this phenomenon is scarce between classmates as relations between classmates are not so close.For the majority , classmates are just companions who shares lessons with him/her. They could play together ,learn tegether but never,never inform each other of his/her sorrow.

Finally,classmates are competitors on some level.The students may learn from them or try to keep up with a certain classmate.But this would not be the motivation that drives a guy work hard.In contrast,the  only motivation  may be the interests which is cultivated by parents or teachers. When the child is young ,good parents would adopt an educational pattern to intrugue his/her interests. I can remember when I was 5 years old,my father demand me to recite Chinese poems and do some mathmatics which ,in my opinion,benefit greatly nowadays.

Hence,from what has been discussed above ,we can safely draw the conclusion that classmates have great impact on a child,but it can not be compared with one parents make.

想秋刀鱼的猫UID: 2304079

我也要...向谢谢LZ啦，鞠躬~
Do you agree or disagree: Teacher should be paid according to their students' performs?

Admittedly, the prosperity of modern society is based on the systematic application of education, thus attracting much greater attention on educational outcomes. Education is essential for progress, the widespread acceptance of this concept led in turn to the discussion about how to improve the quality of education. As a result, some educational institutions gives many suggestions including that teacher should be paid according to their students’ performs, touching off a drastically controversy in the society. Whether the teachers’ salary related to their students’ performs? I am inclined to the denial.

In most degree, learning is largely activity, and teachers play an accessorial role in students’ studying process. If we related the teachers’ salary to their students’ performs, this balance would be broken up. It is not difficult to imagine that teachers have to consider making out methods to improve the student’s scores or manners, with giving too much homework or regulating the students harshly. In fact, these methods may obtain opposite effects.

On the other hand, it is unfair, to the teachers, that is paid according to their students’ performs. No one could deny that the main responsibility of the teachers is to try their best to help their students develop academic abilities and other talents. But different student has different actions during the studying, someone does well when someone doesn’t well which all depend on themselves. As we known, one should be rewarded through his/her hard working. If a teacher always does his/her work seriously, he/she should get his/her pay.

Finally, the relationship of teachers and students is taken for granted for long history-summed up, not altogether accurately, as”
kids an parents”. Teachers mean not only teaching us knowledge but also guiding us life in the students’ growing ways. Once we put the teachers’ paid related to their students’ performs, the harmonious relationship will disappear, in stead of commercial connection.

Therefore, it is no exaggeration to say that teacher shouldn’t be paid according to their students' performs.

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

216# Rodrush 典型的模版文……模版第一段……
第二段：你的第二段的例子距地不错，但是太长了，要适量举例，太长例子加上简单句，容易给考官造成你的作文水平不高的假象。你可以缩短你的例子，多加议论。
看了你的通篇，感觉你的作文水平还停留在依赖模版的水平，如果你希望作文的高分，就要抛开模版，然后尝试自己总结一些模版语句，放开拘束的练习能够使你的作文水平提高很快。然后在考试之前的一周内再套用模版。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

217# hanyi11 下次麻烦您分一下段……把题目单独写出来……
你作文的问题主要是论述不清楚，以第二段为例，你只写了“父母影响了生活态度”，然后就举例，但是你并没有解释清楚怎么影响。如果能在例子之前或者之后加上2-3句话把这个清楚地阐述一下，会对你的作文产生非常大的提高。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

218# 想秋刀鱼的猫 模版……文……，如果你不是非常急着考试，就脱离模版自己练习，试着在没有模版的情况下写作文。这样能对你作文的提高产生非常大的提高。
你的作文非常不充实，第一段套完模版感觉就没有什么可写了，下面的段子非常空，基本上就是一个观点，两句议论。如果你实在想不出写些什么，至少用一两个例子充实一下。托福作文的特点不是让你举出多少个论点去证明你的观点，而是用几个“清晰”的论点去证明你的观点。如果你的论点够清晰，分析的够透彻，一个就够了……论点在精，不在多……（题外话，人多就是力量的时代已经过去了，我们要的是几个比尔盖茨，而不是几百个文盲……：））

daney68UID: 2582640

求助一个问题，现在有一个题目不知道怎么理解比较好？
Do you agree or disgree : It is better for students in College to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades ?
现在有些矛盾，同意和不同意都能想出一点来，但是不知道选择哪一个更好说？
同意：因为学习比较难得知识是出于兴趣，有助于拓展自己的视野
不同意：只有当学好了基础的课程，才能有良好的基础进行进一步的学习。
不知道difficult classes怎么理解比较正确，它对应的是基础的课程吗？
麻烦指导一下：）

yyw614UID: 2518680

不好意思，又来麻烦你了 ， 9号考试，还有不到两周了，紧张啊~~~
agree/disagree：University students should be required to take basic science classes even they are not part of the field of the study.


Basic science classes always fall to attract a number of college students' interest; nevertheless, no one can deny the indispensable foundation that basic science plays in our modern society. From my point of view, I prefer the view that college students should be required to take basic science classes even they are not part of the major for the following reasons.  
    Certainly no reason in my opinion is more important is that the basic classes are crucial for the whole society. As we all know, the modern science and technology would never develop without basic science. On the one hand, it is widely-acknowledged that the development of today's modern society largely comes from the development of science and technology. On the other hand, college students are an essential force that flourishes the society. Consequently, how could it be if college students do not have idea of basic science. A case in point is that a political leader, who had some basic classes in college, will have a better understanding of the global energy crisis and think more carefully especially when makes important decisions, then whole society will benefit.   
     Another reason for my propensity is that basic science classes are good for the student individual development as well. The more subjects a college student knows about, the more competent and the more versatile s/he will be. Taking my friend Wendy as an illustration, she majored in marketing in college and now is working in sales apartment of a chemistry factory. Thanks to the basic science classes in college, she knows better about the chemistry industry than any other colleagues and got a promotion lately.
     From what is discussed above, basic science classes not only benefit the society’s prosperity, but also good for the students in the long run. Admittedly, because of the tedious and boring facts and data, basic science classes do not flatter college students actually. Students may not always see the value of what the basic science classes at the moment; it will show that these lessons they struggle to learn in college can pay off later in life.

RodrushUID: 2571660

216# Rodrush  典型的模版文……模版第一段……
第二段：你的第二段的例子距地不错，但是太长了，要适量举例，太长例子加上简单句，容易给考官造成你的作文水平不高的假象。你可以缩短你的例子，多加议论。
看了你 ...
腾格里旅狼 发表于 2009-4-26 11:12

非常感谢楼主！！
受益良多！现在就开始练习抛开模板写作！

Jessie奔奔UID: 2627156

楼主帮我也看看吧 谢谢了
Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy the friendship.

Friends are as precious as priceless treasures sent by angels. Every individual are longing for sincere and congenial friends. However, upon the question, which is better, letting a friend make a mistake or doing something prevent the mistake. Different people have different opinions due to their different background. From my personal angle, I am in favor of the opinion that we should do something to prevent our friends make a mistake, and I think that would not destroy the friendship, on the contrary, this would enhance the friendship.

First of all, it is true that sincere friend should help each other and correct the error if he or she goes wrong. I think this is the really friend should do. As the saying goes “ A friend in need is a friend indeed”. Come what may, the loyal friend always gives us a feeling of security and warmth. My personal experience serves as a typical example. Lily is one of my good friend, she usually think other things when she does her homework. I talk to Lily her problem when I find this. Then in order to prevent her careless I always supervise Lily when she does her homework. Finally she gained full marks in the examination. Our friendship is become stronger than before.

In addition, if our friend who make a mistake we did not tell her, maybe this little mistake would become serious problem, and might influence our friend’s normal life. For example, my friend Lucy was a good student, we all like her. When she sometimes surfing on the computer, I though she maybe too tried and relax from the all day study, so I did not remind Lucy she should study. Then one day I found Lucy was absent from school in order to play the online game, and she got a low mark. She did not want to study with us more. So I think when we find a friend does something wrong we should tell she or he to prevent the mistake.

Furthermore, some people, who are more or less sophisticated and artful, are reluctant to rectify their friend mistakes in fear of irritating or offending their friend, are not the really friend. They did not want to destroy the friendship but they behaves towards friends has already destroy the friendship. At last, they may lose their friend and the friendship can not be found or recovered.

To sum up, a genuine friend is, without doubt, always a great helper and an instructive advisor. So taking into account all the factors discussed above, we could safely come to the conclusion that we should do something to prevent our friends who make a mistake even a small error, it is a good idea for we enhance the friendship.