20天托福110分复习计划，由于另一个帖子楼数太高，现在本帖也开始为各位改作文

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

321# chineselady 前两天有事，没上线，希望没耽误你。你的第一段写的不好，尤其是最后一点，有一些逻辑混乱，既然你说明你不同意，又在最后写上有正反两方面影响，推荐你看一下32页的一个朋友的文章，和你写一个题目，他的开头写的很好。你这篇文章感觉没有用心写，既然你不同意，又为什么一再强调自由选课的好处呢？另外，人家问你的是选择自己感兴趣的科目，并不是问你自由选课……希望你再修改一下你的文章。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

323# perception 第一段典型的上帝逻辑……你的思想并不是人人都明白，根据你的经验到底是指什么？最好写明确，比如给个简短的离子……第二段只有例子没有议论，有凑篇幅的嫌疑。整片文章结构也很不好，没有结尾段。希望你能够从新写一下这篇文章。感觉你写的的这篇文章很像李笑来满分作文离得一篇，但是他的作文也不见得都是好作文，满分都是他自己定的……并没有真正的实践过，所以他的作文中出现的一些新颖的格式，你尽量还是避免。

阿泰UID: 209473

狼版真持久;P

chineseladyUID: 2403976

嗯, 对. 有时候有点思维混乱...还以为这个能好点, 得点表扬呢. 开头和整个是有点矛盾...看身上的披肩不错吧才15块! 买不? 还有男装, 有时间来店里坐坐:loveliness: 别客气

jean1280UID: 2531442

你好这是我第一次发作文，也是鼓足了万分勇气，在这里也不怕大家笑话了。。。希望得到楼主的建议。
TOPIC:People have different ways of escaping the stress and difficulties of modern life.Some read;some exercise;others work in their gardens.What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress?Use….
Every single day the overloaded work makes people feel breathless in modern life.It seems that most of them use their heads all day long in order to keep their companies running.Fortunately,there are numerous ways and entertainments to allow people to let off some steam from daily stress.Doing exercises,reading books and surfing the Internet would be excellent choices.

Seldomly dose the workforce have the chance to do body exercises.So the weekends are of great importance for them to relax.I remember a scientist from Europe once said one hour basketball playing with friends every week would reduce their current stress by 80 percent.Therefore,the dispensable fuction of doing exercise to escape stress is revealed by the striking number.

Besides that,reading different kinds of book is preferable when we want to get rid of stress.Because only from the knowledge we gained from those books can we realize the truth of fierce competition and the sophisticated society.Reading books,therefore,provide us with methods to deal with problems either from people around us or from work.

As the Internet is prevalent worldwide,many people are glad to have this technology advancement to help them escape daily stress.We can share everything which bothers us with friends through chatting softwares.Or,we can also listen to light music on the Internet by which we would find inner peace. Take me as an example,I watch soap opera “Friends” everyday when I am back home, those players in the opera seem to born to make people laugh. To be honest, I totally forget about all the annoyance when I watch the fantastic show.

So ,there is no doubt that we have many ways to let us forget about stress and difficulities.Such as doing exercise,reading books or surfing the Internet,so on and so forth.And I do strongly believe that everybody can find his/her own access to happiness.

mervinghUID: 2646616

楼主你好！我6.13要考啊，我才复习了几天。求救啊。。我现在不知道要怎么办呀~~
第一次写综合 OG第一篇~ 谢谢！
By illustrating some specific examples in the further research of altruistic acts about animals and human beings, the lecture completely challenges the reading passage.

To begin with, our reading materials implies us that there are abundant examples for us to know the existence of altruism among humans and among animals, whereas the lecture disagreed. And the exponent maintains that the act among human beings and animals are merely out of interest. Therefore, the exponent directly challenges reading materials.

More specifically, when refering to humans, the passage claims that it is the common benefits, not other interest incited the selfless act, or, altruistic act. However, the lecturer illustrated several reasons why humans would act altruisticall, appreciations by the public, increased self-worth and so on. Hence, this is the second part the lecturers denies.

Finally, in the passage, considering the altruistic act on animals,  it alleges that animals act in an altruistic way in order to make sure the safety of their group. Nevertheless, the exponent refutes this point by stating the example of meerkat and its group and elucidates that it is the instinct and selfishness that count most. For this reason, the passage is again proved wrong by the exponent.

Consequently, the contents dispalyed in the reading passage are entirly rejected by the lecturer.
狠批把！

cuteberryUID: 2401378

我写的巴郎上面一篇古怪题目的作文，也是6.13考，麻烦各位啦~~
Pets should be treated like family members?
With the rapid development of economic of our country, more and more families have become rich enough to raise pets. Some pets are treated like family members, while others are not.In my point of view, pets should be treated like family menbers.

In the first place, pets are human's best friends. Some pets are so loytal to their hosts
that they even set us good examples. For example, dogs are tamed by men to guard gates. We usually see that some safeguards open one eye while the other is shut, but dogs are always barking to the stranger to guard gates. In a sense, they sometimes play important part in our life, especially for the elder people. Pets accompany elder people everyday, when children in the family are far away from home. So pets should be treated well.

Another thing worth mentioning is that pets are easily ill as human. If we do not take good care of them , they may get some serious illness. For example, some diseases happened in pig,chick,or other animals in our life may cause serious diseases among people, such as SARS and so on. It is nessary for us to concern about the health of pets. Not only for pets,but also for us human.

Finally, it is really a wonderful thing to see all pets with cute appearance in our life, which surely brings us more fun. There are some pet shop for designed pets' clothes, even some shop for designing hair style of pet. If we treat pets like our family member and bring them to decorate, we will add more joy to our spare time and have a happy time.

In spite of the view that treat pets like family member will cost people a lot of money,
I still hold the opinion that we should give our love and care to pets. Not for just our
life, but for the point that human and pets are best friends.

beiling1120UID: 2607427

强人啊 顶

perceptionUID: 2299669

谢谢腾格里旅狼的批评指教

Do you agree or disagree： The extended family (grandparents, aunt, uncle, cousins) is less important than it was before?

Many people claim that in the today’s more industrial society, extended family is of less importance than before. It sounds true, because people now can be more independent from the family and especially extended family, but in general, I think extend family still weighs as much as before in people’s lives.

First of all, when people are in difficult, it is still natural for them to turn to extended family members. It is said that a friend indeed is a friend in need. When a difficult time such as the present economic crisis comes, you may find people with blood relationship with you like uncles and cousins are “friends indeed”. For example, my friend Lee, who ran a small business, met severe financial problem recently and was turned down by the banks for a loan request. But thanks to his cousin’s help, he managed to get financed in some private arrangement. He also told me that in the business circle, it was still customary for the relatives to help with each other when the tough things emerged.

Furthermore, a strong emotional relation still exists between extended family members. Though such members no longer live together or visit the others frequently, the sense of a big family still means much for people. When a new year comes, I take it for granted to send my best wishes to my aunts and uncles even when they live in other cities and other countries, and we will be really joyful if we can meet. In addition, I must emphasis that my grandparents occupy the second most important positions in my mind, just next to my parents.

Finally, in our countries, there are a vast number of people in the west regions where the modernization hasn’t had an effect as intensively as on the east regions. For them, extended family undoubtedly constitutes an essential part of the lives as before. Some of my classmates said that it was still necessary for their girlfriends/boyfriends to obtain an approval from the elders in the extended family before they could consider marriages. This of course is not something I agree, but it is a reality.

In view of the reasons I named above, it is too hasty to draw the conclusion that the extended family’s importance is decreasing now.

lhddlUID: 2434280

希望多点耳光，谢谢
35 Some people like to attend a live performance while others think that watching the same event on television is more enjoyable. To me, I choose watching an event on television because it is easier and not limited and you have choices and can know more details of the event.

Hardly anyone can doubt the wonderful performance exerts tremendous influence to the lives of the modern people. We can taste the cherished art style which bequeathed by our predecessors and enjoy the creative and exciting behaviors that open our eyeshot. When people are prepare to watch the performances, who decide whether they would prefer to do before the screen or on the seat of the live performance. It is rational to recognize the watching the same event on the television is a better alternative.

Watching the performance on the television gives us good opportunity to share the happiness together with the family. The society may place us into the pressure cooker of the competition so that people have a perpetual struggle against the poverty or several stresses. This situation decreases the time of the get-together of the family reunion. Watching television is a precious moment that we can discuss the topic and opinion about the performance, especially the existence of the same interest of this sort. Thus, the atmosphere before the TV takes our minds off the suffering to tough matter.

The performance on the TV is able to be stored and deposited by the people. This pattern is conducive to the go across the boundary of the time and space. We cannot make the flexible time plan for each live performance we love so much. And we are reluctant to face the monotonous programs. The videos can be stored into some form of database, like DVD, so that we can see the favorite performance over and over again any time we want.

The performance on the TV may offer the people a great panorama which help they understand and appreciate plentiful valuable information. More often than not, one takes the limits of his own field of vision for the limits of the world, not to mention the view hidden. In the place of the live performance, we obtain settled seats which usually limit the view of the picture. By comparison, multi-point cameras never fail to manage to provide the hot point and detail on the performance. To illustrate it, there is a good case in point. In a football game, a forward missed his goals and has his shots blocked much frequently than he scored. Many people in the seats of sport field insulted his performance extremely. However, others before the screen would find this forward suffered from the rival backs seriously, they really understand his injurious situation.

In conclusion, people often prefer to watch the live performance on the TV, for the purpose of a little get-together with the family, or because of the convenience of watching at their disposal, or just comfortable panorama view. Considering the mention above, we can draw the conclusion that watching the live performance on the television is superior to being spectators of the sport fields or the theatres.

MARC09UID: 2641231

Compare and contrast learning by doing to learning by reading. In your opinion, which is better? Use specific examples to support your opinion?

Reading is the key to the progress of human. It is reading that made the spirits of our ancestors and advanced technologies pass by from generation to generation, therefore, learning by reading is especially necessary and important. However, when comparing learning by reading to learning by doing, I still consider the latter to be better. Two reasons are given as follows.

First, in many cases, doing is the only way to learn. This is especially true for the learning of music, dance, sports, and so forth. When we are interested in some kind of sports, for example, tennis, what we have to do is just to find a coach, follow his/her behavior or gesture, and practice again and again. Although reading some books on skills of Tennis may help in improving our master of it, without the tennis pat in our hands, we will never known how to play with it. Another example is the learning of dance. As we all know, the bones of kids are much softer than adults, so the younger we start to learn dancing, the better. Kids cannot read when they have not learned the words, but we still see so many lovely young dancers giving really fabulous show on TV and stages. By contrary, for adults, even though they can do the reading quite smoothly, without learning of dance by doing and practising, they still do not know how to dance.

Second, for most subjects, even though both doing and reading are effective ways of learning, doing will largely inspire learners' interest in learning, thus is better. Interest is the best teacher ever. With interest, people can devote themselves on learning for dozens of hours one day without feeling of tired. However, without interest, even 30-minute class will be a disaster and a waste of time. When I was in high school, experiment class was the favorite time for students who majored in chemistry. They were really excited to see translucent solutions became blue when they were mixed, and gas could be created by them to make balloons. After every experiment class, they were more interested and curious about chemistry, and tried to find more books to read to find the answer. Most of students in my class admitted that it is experiment that evoked their interest in chemistry.

Admittedly, reading is a very important way of learning. Reading a book is just like talking with many great persons. Reading can enlarge our view of the world, and take us to brand new places where we can never reach in reality. Although learning by doing will be a better way of learning, we can never neglect learning by reading. Only when combining those two together, we can achieve the best learning finally.

serenaibtUID: 2581871

:)

chineseladyUID: 2403976

狼最近很忙的样子哦:O

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

335# jean1280 keep their companies running.这句话用的太离谱了……人家问的是什么事情能帮助你解压……，而不是问你公司运营。另外你在第一段就跑题了。题目问你的是the best,就是最好的，而你却写了三种方式，而且我根本没有从你的文章中读出你在这三种方式中最推荐的。所以，你不但在第一段点错了题目，而且在后面整篇文章中都严重跑题……

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

336# mervingh 你的文章字数不够……而且根本没有议论和例子……感觉就是在原来的模板上加上了几个单词而已。文章没有内涵。很抱歉这么晚才给你改，这几天实在太忙……在考试前抓紧时间记一下例子吧，就算你硬扯上几个例子，得分也会比现在高不少。