20天托福110分复习计划，由于另一个帖子楼数太高，现在本帖也开始为各位改作文

lhddlUID: 2434280

96. People have different ways of escaping the stress and difficulties of modern life. Some read; some exercise; others work in their gardens. What do you think are the best ways of reducing stress? Use specific details and examples in your answer.   

Stress and difficulties cast a huge shadow on the minds of modern people. In order to a good shape, people have different solutions to address the related problems. In my opinion, journey, party and exercise are partial approaches to escape the stress.

To begin with, journey has the reputation of being a kind of way to help people relax. Society may place us into the pressure cooker of the competition which causes people undergo a perpetual struggle against the stress. More often than no, such an atmosphere brings about a monotonous life rhythm and tedious routine. Journey can break this mental impediment by resulting in different experience and breathtaking view. For example, city born and city bred, people withstanding the modern pressure in the city. Thus they tend to relax by traveling in country for happiness spring from clear atmosphere as well as closeness to nature.  

Furthermore, party has the advantage of being a form to relieve our pressure. In the party, we can enjoy the pleasure of meeting friends, especially the moment that we have this good opportunities to get along well with those who share the same interests, such as fishing, or watching movies. Therefore, such a nice and comfortable environment takes our minds off the unhealthy states in the workshops. Meanwhile, different opinions urge us to think different. Broaden our horizon, open our eyeshot. Few things could be impressive than this feeling.

Finally, exercise is a good alternative to enable people to stay away stress and difficulties. Exercise is regarded as relaxation in physical area, while it breeds a positive impact to accommodate mind and emotion. Besides this, making exercises regularly improve our health condition, enhance the ability to respond quickly. There is a good case in point to illustrate it. In weekend afternoon, I often play basketball with my colleagues. And then I take a shower and have a rest. These renders me forget something painful, injurious and unpleasant and keep me into a health shape

In a nutshell, to solve the problems stem from stress and difficulties of modern life, I choose journey, party and exercise as partial solutions.

帮忙看看，谢谢！
以下是您上次的评语，看看我有进步么？
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340# lhddl 首先，这个不是论文……你的文章太长了，我看第一眼就奔震撼了，然后是深深地“恶心”……当然，通读完你的文章，你的写作水平是挺不错的，文章的构架也很好，但就是太啰嗦了，一个托福考官可能一天要改好多的作文，如果你是托福考官，两个人的水平相同的情况下，你是喜欢简洁一些的还是喜欢那种萝莉啰唆的？相信你会选择前者。所以，尽量尝试删去一些文章中不是很重要的例子和段子。我最初写作文的时候也有这种感觉，感觉我有好多例子，每个都很好，都不像丢掉，结果越写越多，尝试去克服以下这种感觉，你的作文去的很大的进步。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

355# jean1280 确实是我看错了，美女。这篇文章的题目时are the best ways。你的文章不算跑题。这里还是提一个小小的建议，你最好还是突出一个离子写，虽然是are the best ways，因为在英语中the best一般是指单一的。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

356# perception 如果是平常的写作，你怎么写的舒服怎么来，而且格式不定也是一种创新，但是毕竟这是托福考试，天天读作文读的考官昏天黑地的，所以格式的创新对他们来讲实际是一种折磨……呵呵。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

357# plato_ceo 谢谢

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

358# perception 写作文最好能把握住中间的平衡，这是一偏好作文的特点。这里就仔细帮你分析一下第一段吧。你的上一篇文章的第一段写的太拖沓……但是并不意味着就要如此简略。一这篇文章为例，你可以写We now live in a world which is quite different from the one in the past.（加上哪里不同或为什么不同，如科技进步等等。然后用一句话说一下过去的优势，突出你的思考两面性） From my point of view, two significant positive factors help us to successfully achieve our goals more easily than before.

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

359# chineselady 阴魂不散……%

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

360# FFtserAph During our life, so many problems are worth considering carefully. As what has been come up, recently the issue has been brought into focus that whether extended family becomes less important nowadays than it was in the past.这是废话中的废话，比废话还废话……还不如抄一遍题目呢……如果你非要写长一些，你可以写一下现在和以前的不同，比如科技进步，工作压力大，等等，说一下和题目有关的话……要是考官看到这里就给你打分，无论你后面写的再好都白搭……多可惜。你的第一段的例子写的很棒，赞一个。你的第二段不如换成自己的例子，比如你朋友或者你亲人，就算是编的，写在这里面也比你笼统的写要好的多。

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

361# lhddl 应该是in order to a good shape……这句话怎么这么别扭啊。总体来开，你的文章感觉非常不错，而且无论是举例还是论证都非常好，可是你把握不住平衡。不是例子太多就是论证太多……你应该去尝试找一下平衡，可以适当的据一些例子，这样会对你的文章造成很大的提高。考试的时候如果不是大失误，你的文章分数应该会在25分以上。

gagsyliuUID: 2443203

马上要考了，请楼主狠拍！！！！！！！！！

2007.10.27 Observing and studying animal's behavior is useful to know human nature.

Whether studying animal's behavior is useful to observe human nature, such as courage, cooperation, maternal love and so forth? Some people believe that this will occur, while others maintain the opposite attitude. As far as I am concerned, I would like to side with the former. I will provide concrete evidence to support my point as follows.

First of all, an important lesson human beings can learn from animals is their determination and courage. In order to find another habitat, tiny birds are willing to fly thousands of miles. Sometimes they have to fly across the ocean without any rest during the travel. Salmon manages to swim back to its birthplace to spawn there with great efforts to fight against hunting, ocean current, predators, hungry, and other obstacles. Small as it is, salmon manifests great resolution and courage. It is generally acknowledged that human beings also have shown great courage during the long history and the process of address all kinds of challenges. Through observing and studying animal's behavior, we can gain the strength and know about our nature of courage.

In addition, from the organization of animals, human beings are deeply aware of our nature of cooperation. Effective cooperation is what we have been longing for since our society urges us to work with each other. As is well known, many animals have a strong spirit of cooperation. It is amazing to see that ants communicate with each other quickly and lift up some insects, which weigh hundreds of times as much as themselves. Another example is that buffaloes get together as a whole to deal with the attack of lions. As human beings evolve from animals, we can better understand ourselves if we look into these animals' cooperative behavior.

Moreover, another important human nature we can identify from animals is maternal love. It is commonly accepted that animal's behavior from one generation to another deserves people studying. For instance, a female deer, for the purpose of protecting its babies, would rather sacrifice its life to resist against wolves. What’s more, animals with different genre would feed the next generation unconditionally. For example, we occasionally saw a dog mother and some tiger babies on the television. These animals' behavior, which is helpful for us to realize ourselves, illustrates that the maternal love is spontaneous and unselfish.

To sum up, taking into account of the factors above, we can safely draw a conclusion that observing and studying animal's behavior is useful to know human nature, including courage, cooperation, and maternal love.

gagsyliuUID: 2443203

请楼主再拍！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

2007.12.10
We live a more comfortable and easier life than our grandparents when they were children.

When we look back on the days that human beings have passed, we can find tremendous development we have made. Compared with the former generation, life is easier and more comfortable today.

First of all, we live in a peaceful world that has never appeared before. Decades ago, peace was such a desirable word that people could only dream it day and night. When I was a child, my grandmother always liked to tell me stories which occurred in her childhood. She said that her family had to migrate from one place to another to avoid encountering enemies during the war. Moreover, every night they went to sleep with the companion of sound by gun and other weapons. The society was chaotic and people were wholly thrown into panic and horror. Every time when my grandmother was depicting this situation, I could fell her sorrow and bitterness. Nowadays, the vast majority of people around the world have an enjoyable and harmonious life because people are aware of the importance of avoiding launch conflicts and war.

In addition, people also benefit a lot in their daily lives as science and technology develop. With computer network and electronic business technology, people can go shopping and pay all kinds of fees without leaving home. With modern drugs and advanced surgical techniques, we have the capability to deal with many dangerous diseases and safeguard people's health, so people can enjoy a longer and more leisurely life. With modern jet plane, traveling to another place of the world takes only a few hours instead of days or weeks. This illustrates that modern technology has made people’s lives more colorful and comfortable.

Admittedly, people should never ignore the negative aspects that modern society brings, which make our lives uncomfortable. The computer makes us relax a great deal, but too much time spending on net game will deprive people of the chance to contact with each other. The airplane makes the world smaller. However, who is going to deny that thousands of people die in plane crash accidents every year? The machine makes the work easier, but it gives out poisonous gases which expose us to lung diseases and even cancers.

In conclusion, with the peaceful circumstance and advanced technology, people's lives are more comfortable and easier than before, even though there are a few negative factors in our lives.

gagsyliuUID: 2443203

请楼主再再拍！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！！

2007 .6.30 letting a friend make a mistake is better than saying or doing something that may destroy the friendship.

In this contemporary society, friends play more and more significant role in an individual life. When it comes to the interpersonal relationship among friends, some people maintain that it is responsible to point out friend's mistake. However, others consider that it is not an advisable idea since it will destroy the friendship. As far as I am concerned, I would like to side with the former. I will reason and provide concrete evidence to support my point as follows.

First of all, being friends means making all our efforts to help our friends and benefit each other. When our friends do something excellent, we should send our best wishes and encouragement to them. On the contrary, when our friends make mistakes, it is quite necessary for us to assist them to analyze the reason for the mistakes and help friends correct them. Probably it will harm the friendship to some extent, but it really benefits our friends in a long run. For instance, one of my best friends John had a bad habit. He once abused his parents and wife after he was drunk. I was shocked by his rude behavior. In order to avoid occurrence of similar things, I went up to his office and informed him that his behavior would cause severe consequence. Although he was not delightful at first, he eventually accepted my suggestion and quitted alcohol. Last week he sent me an e-mail to appreciate my help.

Moreover, another point I would mention is that honesty is the foundation of friendship. Just as an ancient Chinese saying goes," Being sincere to each other is bound to strengthen the friendship." According to a recent survey on the Internet, almost 70 percent of people preferred to make friends with those who dare to mention their faults directly. It illustrates that most people treat sincere friends as their true friends. When we point out our friend's mistake, it expresses clearly that we really care about and take responsibility to our friends. In contrast, if we don’t expose our friend’s mistake, we would be blamed by our friend in the end. For example, one of my roommates Li used to copy our assignment and no one prevented him from committing this behavior. This semester his fraud behavior was found during a final exam of a crucial course. He could not accept the fact that he had to quit school and sharply blamed us for not revealing his mistakes earlier.

In sum, taking into account of all factors above, we can safely come to a conclusion that saying or doing something that may destroy the friendship is better than letting a friend make a mistake.

cuteberryUID: 2401378

347# 腾格里旅狼

这个算是跑题？我现在一想倒是有一点。谢谢哦，已经考完了。考场上的作文是：学校是否应该让所有的学生学习历史课，不管他是什么专业？我的观点是：1、历史对于做研究的自然科学领域的人员也是有参考价值的，比如：通过了解这个课题的历史发展情况，能更好的做研究。2、历史上的名人给我们做出了很好的榜样，可以培养我们良好的personality。3、历史可以丰富我们的background knowledge，这是每个人必备的常识。但有些同学对历史一点兴趣都没有，在历史课上睡觉。我的观点是：除了一些特殊情况，我是赞成学校对所有学生开历史课的。这样的观点算不算跑题呢？麻烦楼主了。。。

FFtserAphUID: 2641938

360# FFtserAph During our life, so many problems are worth considering carefully. As what has been come up, recently the issue has been brought into focus that whether extended family becomes less im ...
腾格里旅狼 发表于 2009-6-15 23:23

谢谢狼版主的指点。

FFtserAphUID: 2641938

367# 腾格里旅狼

刚才貌似引用得不对
再谢

腾格里旅狼UID: 2573178

369# gagsyliu 大家这段时间练这个题目的貌似很多啊。典型的模版型开头……有点罗嗦，不过那几个例子举得很好，简明扼要。另外，你的作文不差字数，所以如果能把最后一句删去，会是你的文章简练不少。你在写文章的时候请注意一下题目，人家问的是”有助于了解人类“而不是“人类从他们哪里学到了什么”。你的第一段的决心和勇气例题不近啊……