【12月-1月IBT综合备考活动】之【TWE写作】12月11日作业 transformers

transformersUID：2307599

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Teachers should be  paid as much as doctors, lawyers, and business leaders         
Does teachers should be paid as much as doctors, lawyers and business leaders? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that the contribution of teachers is not as high(?contribution用什么形容high , huge?) as others. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that teachers need to be high paid.My reasons will be presented as follows.

There are two fundamental arguments to support my claim; the first one has to go on the aspect of psychology. For one thing, there is no denying that teachers will work harder and energic when they get bonus. Such bonus surely enhances teachers' self-confidence which is benefits both on teacher and students. For another, the high paid will enhance the social condition of this job which will help students to respect their teachers. As a result, students will have a more efficient way of study. A survey conducted by Globe Education Committee indicates that both students and teachers will believe themselves are excellent when the teachers get high paid.(好牵强的例子~帮我想个贴边的吧)

In addition, why there are so many people are fond of pay high salary to teachers is that high salary will enhance the quality of education. On one hand, it is universally acknowledge that there will be more citizens want to enroll that job when that job get high paid. As a result of this, the quality of fundamental education will surely enhance when more higher education people to be teachers. Nothing is more significant than the fundamental education to a society. Besides, we can not emphasize the enthusiasm of a job too much. Such kind of high paid will impulses the enthusiasm of teacher and also lightens their express of life. My professor ones told me that most of teachers spend half of their salary on food which push them take part time jobs. Obviously, teachers will put more time on the quaility of education when they has no life pression(生活压力怎么说).

Nevertheless, an argument, also the one I find most compelling against my claim, is that the high paid of teacher is necessary, but where does the fund come from？Although I concede this point, in my observation, the money should be paid by government, citizens and even students. One needs look no further than successful education developed countries to find ample evidences that this is the case. For instance, Singapore government has spend more then 30% of their fund on education and even has a law that the salary of high school teacher can not less then 1500 Singapore dollars which equals the highest fellowship of a PHD degree students.   

In sum, this issue is a complex one, which requires subjective judgments. Thus, doctors, lawyers and business leaders surely should be high paid, other jobs, especially teachers,  which satisfies the fundamentals needs of human, like thirty of knowledge and build up children' personality, are more need high salary . In the final analysis, so significant contribution brings by teachers that we can not afford to ignore them. Consequently, teachers need be paid the same as doctors, lawyers, and business leaders.

[ 本帖最后由 transformers 于 2008-12-11 23:29 编辑 ]

greenpalmUID：2391324

Does teachers should be paid as much as doctors, lawyers and business leaders? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that the contribution of teachers is not as high(?contribution用什么形容high , huge?high 可以) as others. On the other side of the leaf, others, The other side of opinion, including me, are convinced that teachers need to be high paid. My reasons will be presented as follows.申请,美国,英国,欧洲,加拿大,USA(_\q)zc,I­IUrThere are two fundamental arguments to support my claim;(与上一句重复，删掉) the first one has to go on the aspect of psychology. For one thing, there is no denying that teachers will work harder and more energic when they get bonus. Such bonus surely enhances teachers' self-confidence which is benefits both on teacher and students. For another, the high paid will enhance the social condition of this job which will help students to respect their teachers. As a result, students will have a more efficient way of study. A survey conducted by Globe Education Committee indicates that both students and teachers will believe themselves are excellent when the teachers get high paid.(好牵强的例子~帮我想个贴边的吧)没有例子宁可不写，因为前面已经分析说明清楚了。
jUJH
{In addition, why there are so many people are fond of paying high salary to teachers is that high salary will enhance the quality of education. On one hand, it is universally acknowledge that there will be more citizens want to enroll that job when that job get high paid. As a result of this, the quality of fundamental education will would surely enhance when more higher education people to be were(此句最好用虚拟语气) teachers. Nothing is more significant than the fundamental education to a society. Besides, we can not emphasize the enthusiasm of a job too much. Such kind of high paid will impulses the enthusiasm of teacher and also lightens their express of life. My professor ones told me that most of teachers spend half of their salary on food which push them take part time jobs. Obviously, teachers will put more time on the quaility of education when they has no life pression(生活压力怎么说：stress of life，此段可以精简下，有点累赘).bbs.gter.neH)i6_%x1Yo YfNevertheless, an argument, also the one I find most compelling against my claim, is that the high paid of teacher is necessary, but where does the fund come from？Although I concede this point, in my observation, the money should be paid by government, citizens and even students. One needs look no further than successful education developed countries to find ample evidences that this is the case. For instance, Singapore government has spend more then 30% of their fund on education and even has a law that the salary of high school teacher can not less then than 1500 Singapore dollars which equal to the highest fellowship of a PHD degree students.    bbs.gter.net*q-A%l d
H!sIn sum, this issue is a complex one, which requires subjective judgments. Thus, doctors, lawyers and business leaders surely should be high paid, other jobs, especially teachers,  which satisfies the fundamentals needs of human, like thirty （？）of knowledge and build up children's personality, are more need in needing for high salary . In the final analysis, so significant contribution brings by teachers that we can not afford to ignore them. （There are so many significant contribution bring by teachers that we can not ignore them. ）Consequently, teachers need be paid the same as doctors, lawyers, and business leaders.bbs.gter  Zuozhe
还行，但要注意语言的简练运用和有些小的错误，加油！

nickey0809UID：2349468

Should teachers be paid as much as doctors, lawyers and business leaders? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that the contribution of teachers is not as importance (?contribution用什么形容high , huge?) as others. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, convince that teachers need to be highly paid. My reasons will be presented as follows.
bbs.gter.net&B ~ m#W,a0d%G j
There are two fundamental arguments to support my claim; the first one 好怪啊改成bases on the consideration of psychology. For one thing, there is no denying that teachers will work harder and more energic when they get bonus应该high income 较好，bonus 只是很小的一部分. Such bonus surely enhances teachers' self-confidence which is benefits both on teachers and students. For another, the high paid will enhance the social condition of this job which will help students to respect their teachers. As a result, students will have a more efficient way of study. A survey conducted by Globe Education Committee indicates that both students and teachers will believe themselves are excellent when the teachers get high paid.(好牵强的例子~帮我想个贴边的吧)

In addition, more invesment in education system include teachers’ treatment will enhance the quality of education. On one hand, it is universally acknowledged that there will be more citizens prone to enrolling the well paid job. As a result of this, the quality of fundamental education will surely enhance when more professional people to be teachers. Nothing is more significant than the fundamental education to a society. Besides, we can not emphasize the enthusiasm of a job too much. high rates of remuneration (high paid 出现得太多噢) will impulses the enthusiasm of teacher and also lightens their express of life. My professor once told me that most of teachers spend half of their salary on food which pushes them to take part time jobs. Obviously, teachers will put more time on the quality of education when they has no life pressure(生活压力怎么说).

Nevertheless, an argument, also the one I find most compelling against my claim, is that the high paid of teacher is necessary, but where does the fund come from？Although I concede this point, in my observation, the money should be paid by government, citizens and even students. One needs look no further than successful education developed countries to find ample evidences that this is the case. For instance, Singapore government has spend more then 30% of their fund on education and even has a law that the salary of high school teacher can not less then 1500 Singapore dollars which equals the highest fellowship of a PHD degree students.建议可省去或少说，你写了五百多字没必要时间也不够，这部分也会削弱你的论证   

In sum, this issue is a complex one, which requires subjective judgments. Thus, doctors, lawyers and business leaders surely should be highly paid(或改成deserve well paid). other jobs, especially teachers,  which satisfies the fundamentals needs of human, like thirty of knowledge and building up children' personality,(n. and n.) are more need!!!!(are need??) high salary . In the final analysis, so significant contribution brings by teachers that we can not afford to ignore them这句话主谓宾是什么……. Consequently, teachers need be paid the same as doctors, lawyers, and business leaders.
逻辑严密性还有待提高哦，宁可写三百字，语言更凝练，语法错误少些
本人能力也很有限，共同努力吧

mpromanusUID：2565872

Does Should teachers should (基础语法请注意啊。。) be paid as much as doctors, lawyers and business leaders? There is no consensus among people. Some argue that the contribution of teachers is not as high significant as others. On the other side of the leaf, others, including me, are convinced that teachers need to be highly paid. My reasons will be presented as follows.

There are two fundamental arguments to support my claim: the first one has to go on the aspect of psychology. For one thing, there is no denying that teachers will work harder and more energeticly when they get bonuses.(问题是关于薪水不是花红。如果你想说 当他们拿钱更多，应该是when they get more. bonus这么用是名词.) Such bonuses surely enhances teachers' self-confidence which is benefits both on teacher and students. For another, the high pay will enhance the social condition of this job, which will help students to respect their teachers. As a result, students will have a more efficient way of studying (这逻辑跨度很大啊。。). A survey conducted by Globe Education Committee indicates that both students and teachers will believe themselves are to be excellent when the teachers get high pay. (牵强就是因为中间跳得太厉害。。老师拿钱多，学生就尊重老师，然后就会好好学习 - 为什么？抢银行拿钱更多，为什么学生不会尊重抢银行的？因为教师是正当职业，一份薪水好的正当职业会给人留下好印象，留下好印象就容易让人尊重，学生尊重老师就会愿意听老师的话，愿意听话一般就比较愿意好好学习 - 逻辑讲究首尾相接，环环相扣，跳太多了让人看不明白。)

In addition, why there are so many people are fond of paying high salaries to teachers is that high salaries will enhance the quality of education. On one hand (这么快就重复用。。太多次了吧。。), it is universally acknowledge that there will be more citizens willing to enroll in that a job when that job gets high pay.(paid是动词过去式转形容词性的被动用法，要用也是the job IS HIGHLY paid) As a result of this, the quality of fundamental (What is 'fundamental education'? Don't just translate 基础教育 into English because there's no equivalent word for it.) education will surely be enhanced (Somebody can enhance something or something gets enhanced. One thing can't just 'enhance' itself.) when more highly educated people to be become teachers. Nothing is more significant than the fundamental education to a society. Besides, we cannot emphasize the enthusiasm of in a job too much. Such (Where do you 'such' from?) kind of high pay will impulses (已经给你改过这个用词了，this is not the correct word. 用spark) the enthusiasm of teachers and also lightens their express of life (?). My professor once told me that most of teachers spend half of their salaries on food, which (which指代什么? food? You have to be clear.) push them to take part-time jobs. Obviously, teachers will put more time on the quaility of education when they has no life pressure.

Nevertheless, an argument, also the one I find most compelling against my claim, is that the high pay of teacher is necessary, but where does the fund come from？(The question was whether teachers SHOULD be paid highly, so the counter argument will be teachers SHOULD NOT be paid highly. It's then a problem of 应该 vs 不应该, not 可以 vs 不可以) Although I concede this point, in my observation, the money should be paid by the government, citizens and even students. One needs to look no further than the education system in successful education developed countries (like which?) to find ample evidences that this is the case. For instance, the Singapore government has spend more then 30% of their funds on education (I wouldn't think so. More like 23% of budget. Plus, when we talk about education funding, we talk about the percentage of education funds to GDP, not to the budget.) and even has a law that the salary of high school teachers cannot be less then 1500 Singapore dollars, which equals the highest fellowship allowance of a PhD degree students. (Not true. While teachers in Singapore are quite well paid, PhD students get allowances that normally far exceed SGD$1,500.)

In sum, this issue is a complex one, which requires subjective judgments. Thus, doctors, lawyers and business leaders surely should be highly paid, other jobs, especially teachers,  which satisfy the fundamentals needs of humans, like thirty thirst of knowledge and building up children' personality, are in more need of high salaries . In the final analysis, so significant the contribution brings brought by teachers is that we cannot afford to ignore them it. Consequently, teachers need to be paid the same as doctors, lawyers, and business leaders.

总结：

你对词汇时态和用法的掌握还是比较弱，不过基本讨论还可以做到让人看懂。论点论证方面还是不错的，只是请小心开数字 - 实在不行就用一个含糊的high，否则也就是托福考官多半没时间看那么多具体数字所以也就让你过去了，以后写论文的时候导师不会那么容易放过你的。。