今天这篇SAT essay 您给几分？

topgoerUID: 2563731

Think carefully about the issue presented in the following excerpt and assignment below:
% C) z. W$ d; @2 s
Existentialist Jean Paul Sartre believed in personal freedom, holding that man is free to “write the script” for his own life: he can blame no one else if his life is a “poor performance.” On the other hand, William Blake and others in the Romantic Movement felt that the expectations and restraints of society severely limit a person: they believed that schooling, organized religion, and other social institutions imprison a person’s mind and spirit.
5 I! b4 w4 G% o' E6 y
1 o  {) d% N2 W- M5 ~5 \8 sAssignment: What is your opinion of the claim that there is no such thing as free choice; to some degree, we are always bound by the rules of society? Plan and write an essay in which you develop your point of view on this issue. Support your position with reasoning and examples taken from your reading, studies, experience, or observations.
; l4 j* e# y- f5 v0 t/ R& Z
4 G, T3 V$ A5 P, nI agree with the point that we do not have the freedom to our choices in many situations. In this society, few people can find the freedom to act by their own choice. As I find it true that man are bound to society that we are no longer able to be our true self. We have to adhere to the conventional set of believes that society has long imposed on us. This kind of restrain though I can say is inevitable to all those in society. I can be sure that free choice is further away from man than ever before.

First, everyone knows about the circle of control, circles that we can take control of and those that we can never control. We can take charge of our own life and destiny, by controlling the choices that we make. In normal circumstances, there is no doubt that we have the freedom over controlling our life, provided that the individual is a free man. However, many will realize that they actually do face invasions into their personal life. In today’s society, people find it hard to avoid the influence of others and many just follow the flow of the crowd. Free men are given the freedom to take charge of their life and make their own life decisions. Sadly, people realized that they are starting to lose more freedom to the shackle of society as they even start to find the circle previously within their control gradually out of their free will.
6 F7 _. F0 @# p  _' v

This is indeed a reality, free choice is really hard to find these days, as we see from examples of various fields. In politics, dictatorship is no longer possible in democratic nations as everyone demands freedom. Even the president finds great problems at solving the nation’s issues, such as Thailand, where millions of demonstrators took over Thailand’s international airport leading to paralysis of the nation. Whereas, in our own family, members demand freedom that causes restrictions to be imposed on one another. Siblings fighting and parents losing control are just like politics, we can never control anyone else’s life, as we find it hard to find our own freedom.
9 t5 d( i* j7 L5 A. i& E

5 z+ h1 B; r; h  f2 c9 }/ dIn all, I will like to assert the point that freedom is at such high demand nowadays, that freedom of choice may only be found within our dreams. As we look back to our past choices made, we can ask ourselves this question, how many of them are influenced by others and society, do we really make our own choice?
; b3 U' l9 J- m" y( Q) p
1 v/ [! [' Q% G) u3 c[ 本帖最后由 topgoer 于 2008-12-31 01:03 编辑 ]

豆豆～UID: 2378384

4 out of 6.... the ideas are pretty good, but not the sentence structures. also, ending ur essay with a rhetorical question is usually not a good idea.

topgoerUID: 2563731

谢谢荣誉版主的指教！
* q) N1 L/ x6 q
祝新年快乐！