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[a习作temp] Argument33 【0906G 文以载道三月四月小组】第一周第一次作业 on curylynne [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-1-13 22:37:40 |显示全部楼层
【题目】Arguement33
The following report appeared in an archaeology journal.
'The discovery of distinctively shaped ceramic pots at various prehistoric sites scattered over a wide area has led archaeologists to ask how the pots were spread. Some believe the pot makers migrated to the various sites and carried the pots along with them; others believe the pots were spread by trade and their makers remained in one place. Now, analysis of the bones of prehistoric human skeletons can settle the debate: high levels of a certain metallic element contained in various foods are strongly associated with people who migrated to a new place after childhood. Many of the bones found near the pots at a few sites showed high levels of the metallic element. Therefore, it must be that the pots were spread by migration, not trade.'


在广泛区域分散分布的很多史前遗迹发现的形状独特的陶壶导致考古学家提出疑问:这些壶是如何流传的?有些人相信壶的制造者迁移到别的地方并把壶随之带来;另一些人相信壶是通过贸易流传的,而他们的制造者留在一个地方。现在,对于史前人类骨骼的分析可以解决这个争论: 在多种食物中都含有的某种金属元素的高含量与那些成年后移居到新地方的人有很高的关联性。在一些遗迹的壶附近发现的很多骨头都显示出这种金属元素的高含量。因此,这些壶肯定是通过迁徙而不是贸易来流传的。

【正文】

As to the issue that how the pots were scattered, some people convince it is led by the migration flow while others believe the pot were spread by trade and their makers remained in one place. In this editorial, the author argues that the pots were spread by migration because of the high contain level of metallic elements in people's bones. However, careful scrutiny of the evidence reveals that the argument accomplishes little toward supporting the author's claim, as discussed below.

To support the claims, the author points out that
"high levels of a certain metallic element contained in various foods are strongly associated with people who migrated to a new place."Various foods contain the high quantity of metallic element mightily have correlation with the people of migration.即使是说作者自己的观点还是要用我们自己的话去复述一次的,不能直接拉下来。
Actually, there is no necessary association between migrants and foods contained high-level metallic element. The food migrants eat in the motherland might also exist or be planted in the new place. The author does not indicate people could just gain one certain element in a certain limited place. Different food could contain the same element just like both orange and broccoli contain vitamin.

The author also argues that
"many of the bones found near the pots at a few sites showed high levels of the metallic element"(跟上一段开头一样,要改写下。)but just a few sites can't stand for all the sites and it is unconvincing to make such a hasty
conclusion that pots were spread by migration. On the other hand, the high levels of the metallic element in bones might be affected by putting near the pots after death, not stay with the pots all the time during the life time. The author does not provide sufficient evidence to state that high levels of the metallic element are formed before people's death.

There are also other flaws found in the author's assumption. The author does not give sufficient evidence which can prove the bones are from those who migrate to a new place after childhood. People also could adopt(
感觉用assimilate更合适 )certain kinds of metallic element afterthey grow up. The metallic element remained from childhood might disappear through metabolism. And the author also can not prove the bones near the pots belong to the pots owner. There might be no certain relationship between pots and people. Furthermore, how to define the childhood? To what level we could say it’s high level of metallic element?Both Of them are not mentioned in the argument to support the notion.)『这里也是觉得突然问号就没了,好像话没说完,就又添足啦。』

In short,(
the consequence of this argument is based on the problematic assumption in the correction of the high levels of metallic element in human’s bones with migration. However,)without abundant evidence that could explain the above problems, the author can not safely conclude that the pots were spread by migration, not trade. (After all, to state the point creditable must be cautious to conclusion.) [最一段写得有些匆忙,我就再多罗嗦补充了两句。]

总体思路很清晰,有理有据,层层递进,语言表达能力也很强哈。看到你写的文章,自觉自己的那是垃圾啊。。。T_T~~~~驳斥观点的视角也很不错,给我了新角度哈


[ 本帖最后由 curylynne 于 2009-1-13 22:41 编辑 ]

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