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[i习作temp] Issue244【0906G 文以载道三月四月作文小组】第一周第三作业 by gewang [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-1-15 09:53:48 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
[题目]
Issue244
"Most societies do not take their greatest thinkers seriously, even when they claim to admire them."
很多社会并不重视思想家,即使社会宣称很景仰这些思想家。

[提纲] 部分同意
1)    在专制社会, 思想家往往不被重视;--孔子的 ‘仁,礼’
2)    即时在民主社会, 社会景仰, 但是其思想并不能被当代所接受—Maxwell电磁学说
3)    思想家也有被社会重视的情况-- Steven Hawking的时间简史

[正文]
In different stages of human history, great thinkers are treated different by the society. Some of them are wronged or ignored by their society, however, some thinker luckily win the respect of the whole society. So, I only partly agree with the author’s assertion that even most societies claim they admire their thinkers, but these societies do not take them seriously.

First of all, in an autocratic society, the thinkers are not respected. What’s worse, they are even suppressed. Autocracy asks for absolute power and rule, the government does not usually permit free thinking and punishes those who offend the autocracy. Take the example of Confucius, who used to be great thinker in the thousands years of Chinese civilization, persisted a political thought that the best government is one that rule through rites and citizens’ natural morality, rather than by using bribery and coercion. However, though Confucius advanced thought had great significances, his ideas were not accepted by his contemporary society, which mainly focus on expanding the territory and increasing the wealth. All his life, he could not find same position to practice and realize his ideas, and the only thing left for him was teaching, which is the way his great thoughts and ideas were passed down by generations and generation.

Then, in a democratic society, the thinkers are free to claim their views and ideas, but from time to time, their advanced ideas are often far from the imagination and comprehension of the public, and can not be accepted by contemporary persons. James Maxwell, the creator of the classical electromagnetic theory, was born in a period of highly promoting of science. In that society, people were encouraged to develop a research career and scientists were taken seriously by their society. However, even in this circumstance, Maxwell’s work on the electromagnetic field was not accepted and demonstrated until the 9th years after his death. In short, even in a society which admire and give high assertion on its thinkers, at some circumstance, these thinkers are not accepted by population.

However, some great thinkers are comprehensively accepted by their society. With the developing of science and technology like computer, internet, and economic globalization, people have much more convenient communication with each other. Furthermore, there is a better understanding among people with the spreading of education. For instance, Steven Hawking are approved by today’s society and his work on Black Holes is given highly praised. His book-“A Brief History of Time”- became the runaway bestseller, and stayed on the British ‘Sunday Times’ bestseller list for 237 weeks.

In sum, the society should be an inclusive society and give the thinkers more space to develop their ideas. At the same time, the great thinks would better try their best to spread and publicize their ideas.

Ps: 这里思想家到底如何定义, 科学家不知能否算思想家的一种; 另外在写作时, 每段写总结句时不知如何入手, 论证方法也比较单一. 字数也才460, 怎么改进呢? 多谢提意见了~~



[ 本帖最后由 gewang 于 2009-1-15 09:54 编辑 ]
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沙发
发表于 2009-1-16 20:28:41 |只看该作者

Issue244互改【0906G 文以载道三月四月作文小组】第一周第三作业 on luyaoxu

In different stages of human history, great thinkers are treated different by the society. Some of them are disparaged (wrong 没有动词的用法)or ignored by their society, however, some thinkers luckily win the respect of the whole society. So, I only partly agree with the author’s assertion that even most societies claim they admire their thinkers, but these societies do not take them seriously.

First of all, in an autocratic society, the thinkers are not respected. What’s worse, they are even suppressed. Autocracy asks for absolute power and rule, the government does not usually permit free thinking and punishes those who offend the autocracy. Take the example of Confucius, who was esteemed as a (used to be只强调过去,现在也很伟大)great thinker in the thousands of years of Chinese civilization, persisted  a political claim(政治主张) that the best government should rule its people on the basis of rites and citizens’ natural morality, rather than power and coercion(句式稍换,还简洁了). However, though Confucius advanced thought had great significance, his ideas were not accepted by his contemporary society, which mainly focus on expanding the territory and increasing the wealth. All his life, he could not find same position to practice (找到合适的机会推行??)and realize his ideas, and the only thing left for him was teaching, which is the way his great thoughts and ideas were passed down by generations and generation.(可以再举个古希腊或欧洲宗教时代的短例子,然后概括一下,专制社会压制思想家的言论、思想自由,只有符合统治者利益的言论才得以推广采纳,这样文章就长了)

Then, in a democratic society, the thinkers are free to claim(可用release替换) their views and ideas, but from time to time, their advanced ideas are often far from the imagination and comprehension of the public, and can not be accepted by contemporary persons. James Maxwell, the creator of the classical electromagnetic theory, was born in a period of highly promoting of science. In that society, people were encouraged to develop a research career and scientists were taken seriously by their society. However, even in this circumstance, Maxwell’s work on the electromagnetic field was not accepted and demonstrated until the 9th years after his death. In short, even in a society which admire and give high assertion on its thinkers, in some circumstances, these thinkers are not accepted by the public(大众).(本段收尾很好,点睛,例子也不错)

However, some great thinkers are comprehensively accepted by their society. With the development of science and technology like computer, internet, and economic globalization, people have much more convenient communication with each other. Furthermore, there is a better understanding among people with the spreading of education. For instance, Steven Hawking are approved by today’s society and his work on Black Holes is given highly praised. His book-“A Brief History of Time”- became the runaway bestseller, and stayed on the British ‘Sunday Times’ bestseller list for 237 weeks.(你是说,科技发展、经济全球化使人们容易交流思想吗?知识普及使大家能更好的理解某些思想家的理论吗?时间简史 我想真正理解的还是很少吧。例子不能很好地证明分论点)

In sum, the society should be an tolerant one (尊重多样性的)and grant the thinkers sufficient space to develop their ideas. At the same time, the great thinkers would better try their best to spread and publicize their ideas.

Ps: 这里思想家到底如何定义, 科学家不知能否算思想家的一种; 另外在写作时, 每段写总结句时不知如何入手, 论证方法也比较单一. 字数也才460, 怎么改进呢? 多谢提意见了~~


我觉得思想家包括广泛,像科学家、社会改革家、政治家等,只要思想自成一派,应该都算吧:)论证方法这一篇我也只会用例证,看孙远的书上介绍有什么权威名言、调查数据、故事、类比什么的,还得在以后的作文里慢慢体会吧,你有什么好的点子,欢迎告诉我。你的思路很清晰,是你的特色哦,语言要加油!

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板凳
发表于 2009-1-18 12:53:33 |只看该作者

回复 #2 luyaoxu 的帖子

thanks: luyaoxu
https://bbs.gter.net/viewthre ... &extra=page%3D2

谢谢你的意见,改得太好了:loveliness: 。
我在第二段另外提了下苏格拉底,第四段把例子换成的工业革命时期瓦特被高度重视~~

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RE: Issue244【0906G 文以载道三月四月作文小组】第一周第三作业 by gewang [修改]

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