Argument53【0906G 文以载道三月四月作文小组】第二周第一作业 on 1shiaiwode

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    According to the arguer, the increasing level of melatonin before birth causes shyness during infancy. And the arguer poses the result of a study to support his/her perspective. However, in my point of view, there are several logical mistakes in the article which make the result incredible.
    First, there is no evidence certifying that melatonin can affect infants' brain. We can only know from the article that melatonin can affect some brain functions. However, the arguer does not tell whether this hormone affects brains of mothers' or infants'. The arguer does not offer us any scientific information about melatonin to make us know more clearly how the hormone works on brains.
   Second, in the article, the arguer does not take into account the environments in which the 25 infants were brought up. We all know that the children's characteristics are majorly formed during the processes of their lives. That is, the form of characteristic depends a lot on environment. Disappointedly, the arguer does not supply us any information of environments. Instead, he/she just computes the children’s shyness on the hormone of melatonin. I have to say that it is unreasonable and, at the same time, unbelievable.
  Third, we can never know that whether the infants showed signs of mild distresses because of shyness or other factors. There is a possibility that they showed distresses because of shyness. We can not deny the possibility that they were uncomfortable when heard the noise or smelled unusual odor, though. Maybe, there were some other reasons for these infants to show distresses.
  Last, there are still several problems in this passage. For example, the number of infants studied is too small to be convincible. At the same time, we do not know whether there are other aspects that will influence the kids' personality.
   So, in order to obtain people’s sympathy, the arguer has to submit more scientific data to support his/her standpoint that melatonin can make infants be shyness.


真挑不出什么来，最后这个我觉得作者的总论点是  melatonin 使婴儿变得害羞及可以延续到以后，最后总结应该把驳总论点。你说的 effect the infants.只是一个你第一个论点，作为总结不合适。 帮我也改改 我是你楼上

[ 本帖最后由 ph粉丝 于 2009-1-19 09:27 编辑 ]