Issue212【六人作文小组】第3周第2次作业

空即是色UID: 2496914

Issue 212: if a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain is justifiable.

In the beginning I want to be talking about what is the worthy goal. As a student who is dream for further studies in USA, I think to me the worthy goal is try my best to obtain an adequate TOEFL and GRE scores; to a CEO, the worthy goal is keeping shares rising and maintain the normal operation of the company; and to the government, the worthy goal is maximizing the benefits of the country. From here we can say the worth goal should be an objective which contributes to effort and ultimately gain benefits.

From the angle of human beings, before achieving one goal, one thing we must be considered is two sides of the goal. Is it possible that harm might be coincident with profit or is the goal only conducive to personal benefit while detrimental to the public? And what degree the harm will extend extremely? Depending on the reward, estimating one goal, namely predict benefit and damage, seems vital and crucial for us. Only when the benefit we forecast to acquire is greater than the harm, the goal will be called as a worthy goal and should be achieve.

For instance, in China, the government is paying attention on a huge environmental protection program which is called Three North Shelter-forest System. It crosses the country from north-east to the west and covers over 13 provinces that almost close to half of the whole country land. In these areas, the destruction of vegetation has led to increasingly serious land desertification, soil erosion and drought. The shelter-forest system is used to stop desertification and change production condition in agriculture and animal husbandry in these regions. Building this huge system does cost a great deal of money and times, but it contributes not only to eco-efficiency, but also to economic benefits, even to the social benefits. This giant shelter-forest system vigorously promotes the development of rural economy and improves people's living standards and most importantly be profitable for the generations.

On the other hand, there exists a sort of goal which refers to many aspects of the society. When facing to these goals, we should consider more rationally. I also take environment problem as an example. We all know the heavy industry production is the main reason of pollution, due to this, some one points out we should shut down all the factories and companies which are the source of pollution. Thinking it deeply any thoughtful person will disagree with this insensible idea because of some alternatives. If we eliminated factories in order to protect environment, the workers would lost jobs, transport tools such as train, lorry, airplane would be less and less and disappear in the end, the economic would collapse, then the entire society would be lose control. Actually we cannot abandon economic and social stability just for environment.

In sum, no matter how justifiable the goal looks like, we should weigh benefit against the cost in stead of impulse.

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空即是色UID: 2496914

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sneakerliuUID: 2481691

In the beginning I want to be talking about what is the worthy goal. 加一句话，因人而异As a student who is dream for further studies in USA, I think to me the worthy goal is try my best to obtain an adequate TOEFL and GRE scores; to a CEO, the worthy goal is keeping shares rising and maintain the normal operation of the company; and to the government, the worthy goal is maximizing the benefits of the country. From here we can say the worth goal should be an objective which contributes to effort and ultimately gain benefits.

From the angle of human beings, before achieving one goal, one thing we must be considered is two sides of the goal. Is it possible that harm might be coincident with profit or is the goal only conducive to personal benefit while detrimental to the public? And what degree the harm will extend extremely? Depending on the reward, estimating one goal, namely predict benefit and damage, seems vital and crucial for us. Only when the benefit we forecast to acquire is greater than the harm, the goal will be called as a worthy goal and should be achieve.

For instance, in China, the government is paying attention on a huge environmental protection program which is called Three North Shelter-forest System. It crosses the country from north-east to the west and covers over 13 provinces that almost close to half of the whole country land. In these areas, the destruction of vegetation has led to increasingly serious land desertification, soil erosion and drought. The shelter-forest system is used to stop desertification and change production condition in agriculture and animal husbandry in these regions. Building this huge system does cost a great deal of money and times, but it contributes not only to eco-efficiency, but also to economic benefits, even to the social benefits. This giant shelter-forest system vigorously promotes the development of rural economy and improves people's living standards and most importantly be profitable for the generations. 当然，在建造的时候我花去了金钱，时间，和研究者的EFFORT, 可是相比之下，这些都是值得的

On the other hand, there exists a sort of goal which refers to many aspects of the society. When facing to these goals, we should consider more rationally. I also take environment problem as an example. We all know the heavy industry production is the main reason of pollution, due to this, some one points out we should shut down all the factories and companies which are the source of pollution. Thinking it deeply any thoughtful person will disagree with this insensible idea because of some alternatives. If we eliminated factories in order to protect environment, the workers would lost jobs, transport tools such as train, lorry, airplane would be less and less and disappear in the end, the economic would collapse, then the entire society would be lose control. Actually we cannot abandon economic and social stability just for environment.我觉得可以立意高一点，人们趋于看见眼前的利益，趋于把眼前看的的利益大于未来的危害，才出现这种情况。

In sum, no matter how justifiable the goal looks like, we should weigh benefit against the cost in stead of impulse.

半妖UID: 2328063

Issue 212: if a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain is justifiable.


提纲？？？？？？？？？？？？请遵守小组规定

In the beginning I want to be talking about what is the worthy goal. As a student who is dream for further studies in USA, I think to me the worthy goal is try my best to obtain an adequate TOEFL and GRE scores; to a CEO, the worthy goal is keeping shares rising and maintain the normal operation of the company; and to the government, the worthy goal is maximizing the benefits of the country. From here we can say the worth goal should be an objective which contributes to effort and ultimately gain benefits.
第一段一般用来总括全文，即使不能总其全文，也应该让人明白作者的观点。所以这段比较适合作为第二歌段落。

From the angle of human beings, before achieving one goal, one thing we must be considered is two sides of the goal目标的两面性？你想表达的是目标的作用的两面性把。改改. Is it possible that harm might be coincident with profit or is the goal only conducive to personal benefit while detrimental to the public? And what degree the harm will extend extremely?ETS确实喜欢反问句，但是在实用前请掌握其精髓，那就是对论点有力的支持。我觉得这两个反问句用的不是很好。而且第二个语法错误。 Depending on the reward, estimating one goal, namely predict benefit and damage, seems vital and crucial for us. Only when the benefit we forecast to acquire is greater than the harm, the goal will be called as a worthy goal and should be achieve. 虽然你一直在强调goal所带来的效果的两面性，但是我却没有看到一个实例。这里用实例更能说服人。

For instance, in China, the government is paying attention on a huge environmental protection program which is called Three North Shelter-forest System. 开头的句子是总起全段的，怎可以用for instance 这样的细节词汇。It crosses the country from north-east to the west and covers over 13 provinces that almost close to half of the whole country land. In these areas, the destruction of vegetation has led to increasingly serious land desertification, soil erosion and drought. The shelter-forest system is used to stop desertification and change production condition in agriculture and animal husbandry in these regions. Building this huge system does cost a great deal of money and times, but it contributes not only to eco-efficiency, but also to economic benefits, even to the social benefits. This giant shelter-forest system vigorously promotes the development of rural economy and improves people's living standards and most importantly be profitable for the generations.

On the other hand, there exists a sort of goal which refers to many aspects of the society. One the other hand, 表转折，请问这段与前文的关系是这样的吗？When facing to these goals, we should consider more rationally. I also take environment problem as an example. We all know the heavy industry production is the main reason of pollution, due to this, some one points out we should shut down all the factories and companies which are the source of pollution. Thinking it deeply any thoughtful person will disagree with this insensible idea because of some alternatives. If we eliminated factories in order to protect environment, the workers would lost jobs, transport tools such as train, lorry, airplane would be less and less and disappear in the end, the economic would collapse, then the entire society would be lose control. Actually we cannot abandon economic and social stability just for environment.

In sum, no matter how justifiable the goal looks like, we should weigh benefit against the cost in stead of impulse.
总结：
在篇首给出你的态度，不要在最后才说我认为怎样怎样
写出提纲，用2-3个分论点来支持你的观点。而不是一段只用一个例子。请问用一个含多余信息的例子有信服力些，还是用同样的篇幅概括2-3个例子有信服力？
语言的话自己雕琢把，这是最后一步。当您能够好好驾驭篇章结构后再说吧。
这篇文章比较难写，所以不要灰心。加油把~~~~