Issue10【0906G ANap Hand 作文互改小组】第五次 bygoingeast

goingeastUID: 2439824

没限时，超很多。。
The cultural, as we know, include intangible cultural and material cultural of a nation. In major cities, which are a centre of economic and with a large population, we can, with surprise, visit many magnificent and ostentatious cultural sites. However, we cannot say that a nation's cultural traditions are preserved even generated in cities, without considering under a specific condition of nation. We have to admit that many intangible cultural heritages are remained in rural area. Many of them face a fate of lost. The government should pay an attention to preserve cultures both in cities and in rural area.  

The cultural traditions in some nations are preserved in cities. The cities, which usually are the most prosperous in that area, contain many famous buildings or historical sites, these sites and the stories behind them exert the most profound influence on modern society and reflect the representative culture of whole nation. Living through wind and rain, they all have some breakages more or less. It is necessary and beneficial that the government spend money to renovate them in time. Take the Florence of Renaissance for example, the city was filled with artists and aesthetics, competing for fame and recognition, and therefore marvelous art works and buildings are left to us, such as “Santa Maria del Fiore”, a domed cathedral and the sculpture “David di michelangelo”, which was in the open-air, so the government should protect them from destruction by tourists and bad climate.

Additionally, the rich and illustrious cities also have an important role to spread their cultural essential abroad, many tourists who are attracted by cultural traditions, such as cultural sites, the cuisine and musics, will visit and learn them. This can be a way, convenient and effective, to promote the spreading of the characteristic culture all over the world. Therefore, a nation should make propaganda for them. A well illustration of this propaganda involves some cultural exchange like a Sino-French Cultural Festival.

For another thing, there are many nations the cultural traditions deriving from rural primitive culture and preserved in countryside, even though the cities are much richer and more modern than countryside. The culture in the city we prefer to call them "mainstream culture" or "pop culture”, the really cultural traditions, like folk song, national dance and festive custom, are still vivid in rural area. The Chinese traditional festival, for instance, the customs are fully preserved in countryside more than those in some big cities, when I was child, I lived in the country, when the traditional festival was approaching, there are many activities to celebrate the festival, while now I live in city, I do not see much festival spirit at all.

Moreover, as a part of cultural traditions, culture in rural is as valuable in people’s life and human history as those in cities. But, some folk crafts have bordered on the extinction, even has lost yet. Accordingly, giving countryside a financial support to boom their culture heritage is as important as does in cities. In fact, compared with direct financial support needed by megapolis, the cost in rural area is less, but the result is conspicuous and imperative, the varied cultural traditions should not be ignored, either. All of these issues will need government’s help and guide.

In sum, as we say above, the cities and the countries both own a different kinds of cultural traditions, however, the important cultural traditions are should be supported in order to ensure  that they are continuing to flourish. Furthermore, the public's efforts should be as important as the government’s efforts, only rely on government is less influence lasting forever. We need a balance to bolster development of cultural traditions wherever they are.

goingeastUID: 2439824

Topic：中立，（大城市往往是长期文化淀积的结果）政府必须要确保主要城市发展所需的财政支持，因为一个国家的文化传统主要是在城市中得以保存和发展，与此同时，我们也不应该忽略小城市和郊县的文化传统，那也是我们文化遗产的一部分。
1）政府必须要确保主要城市发展所需的财政支持，因为主要城市担负着国家文化保存和维护的重任
Eg 纽约的大都会博物馆，莫斯科的红场，埃及的金字塔，希腊的宙斯神庙，北京的故宫，往往国家文化的精髓都是在城市中得以保存和发展的。而这些地方每年要花去大量的费用来维修和管理。
2）主要城市同时也扮演了文化传播的角色。因为它们的知名度，每年都有无数的游客前来仰慕这些文化，这是一个很好的传播文化，弘扬光大的途径。政府要出钱宣传。
3）然而在某些国家，农村反而是文化传统发源地，那些大城市我们更愿意说是主流文化，或是流行文化。
4）我们也不应该忽略小城市和郊县的文化传统，那也是我们文化遗产的一部分。不受重视，易于被毁坏，但同样也是文化遗产，不应被忽视，尤其价值，而且保护起来费用也较少。
In sum 如此说来一个国家需要balance

irvine666UID: 2575525

The cultural, as we know, include intangible(用词不当,无形的是incorporeal, intangible用在企业资产) cultural and material cultural of a nation. In major cities, which are a centre(单复数搭配) of economic and with a large population, we can, with surprise,(这里断句有点画蛇添足了,断句两个作用:强调和使长句子有韵律.一共10个词的分句,当然不是为了韵律.难道为了强调we can?) visit many magnificent and ostentatious(贬义词,表示浮夸和炫耀,换) cultural sites. However, we cannot say that a nation's cultural traditions(单复数搭配) are preserved even generated(怎么能用even连接2个动词) in cities, without considering under a specific condition of nation. We have to admit that many intangible cultural heritages(o...mg...迷糊了半天终于明白你前面的意思了,关于这个词的评论我放到最后去) are remained in rural area. Many of them face a fate of lost(disappearance,这里要有一个"灭绝"的意思,就是再也找不到了,才值得政府投钱去拯救.lost丢失了找回来就是了,程度不够重). The government should pay an attention (pay attention to 固定搭配) to preserve(这个to是介词,后面的动词要加ing) cultures both in cities and in rural area.

The cultural traditions(上下文不一致了,这个区别留到最后说) in some nations are preserved in cities. The cities, which usually are the most prosperous (place) in that area, contain many famous buildings or historical sites, these sites and the stories behind them exert the most profound influence on(这个短语不错，相当于put emphasis on) modern society and reflect the representative culture of whole nation. Living through wind and rain(这个版本的"经历了风和雨",可以算山寨么?just a joke. 语法上没错,不知道说法是否存在), they all have(have,make我很反感,也建议你也不要多用,be这种极度客观的动词也尽量少用,多找别的感情动词,比如这里用suffered,单词量都是这么积累+用出来的,我现在一篇文章，40%的时间是用去考虑动词的.) some breakages more or less(some 和 more or less一起用？). It is necessary and beneficial that the government spend money to renovate(spend money in doing sth 总的看来,楼主的基础不太好啊) them in time. Take the Florence of Renaissance for example, the city was filled with artists and aesthetics, competing for fame and recognition, and therefore marvelous art works and buildings are left to us, such as “Santa Maria del Fiore”, a domed cathedral and the sculpture “David di michelangelo”, which was in the open-air, so the government should protect them from destruction by tourists and bad climate(这是个从句,用destructing).

Additionally, the rich and illustrious cities also have an important role to spread(play a role in doing,还是基础的问题) their cultural essential(精华是essence / pith 后一个词是红宝上的，一般用前一个) abroad, many tourists who are attracted by cultural traditions, such as cultural sites, the cuisine and musics, will visit and learn them. This can be a way, convenient and effective, to promote the spreading(spreading是动词，spread既是动词又是名词) of the characteristic culture all over the world. Therefore, a nation should make propaganda for them. A well illustration of this propaganda involves some cultural exchange like a Sino-French Cultural Festival.

For another thing, there are many nations the cultural traditions deriving from rural primitive culture and preserved in countryside, even though the(普遍的看法，不用特指) cities are much richer and more modern than countryside. The culture in the city we(既不是同位语，又不是从句，又不是并列，干嘛放2个主语在一起) prefer to call them "mainstream culture" or "pop culture”, the really cultural traditions, like folk song, national dance and festive custom, are still vivid(这个词估计是你刚学不久的,最近每篇都有.不过别乱用,只用在能够用眼睛看到的东西上,比如vivid sea, vivid color.这里推荐vital) in rural area. The Chinese traditional festival, for instance, the customs(继续出单复数问题) are fully preserved in countryside more than those in some big cities, when I was child, I lived in the country, when the traditional festival was approaching, there are many activities to celebrate the festival, while now I live in city, I do not see much festival spirit at all(议论文绝对不能这么来一句，前面的好印象全没了。就算没法子了，真的要用自己的经历举例，也不能用这样的语言，这么一写成自传了,need more objective point of view.).

Moreover, as a part of cultural traditions, culture in rural is as valuable in people’s life and human history as those(切记这里指代的是culture阿，怎么能用复数) in cities. But, some folk crafts have bordered on(继续换掉have, 推荐一句：are(这里是陈述事实，用be没问题) on the brink of extinction) the extinction, (or) even has lost(vanished) yet. Accordingly, giving countryside a financial support to boom their culture heritage is as important as does(这是啥？) in cities. In fact, compared(being compared, 否则一句话2动词了) with direct financial support needed by megapolis, the cost in rural area is less, but the result is conspicuous and imperative, the varied cultural traditions should not be ignored, either(你想强调这个？). All of these issues will need government’s help and guide.

In sum, as we say(said) above, the cities and the countries both own a different kinds of cultural traditions, however, the important cultural traditions are should be(不说啥了，细心阿细心) supported in order to ensure that they are continuing(be doing 有持续的意思，continue也有，取一个就行了) to flourish. Furthermore, the public's efforts should be as important as the government’s efforts, only rely on government is less influence lasting forever.（画蛇添足了，全文都没有提到public,最后来一句，不是给了ETS你没有充分论述的口实么？） We need a balance to bolster development of cultural traditions wherever they are.

个人认为本题的关键词应该是 government, financial support, culture traditions.
重点应该论述的是保护和发扬tradition.然而本篇写成了culture heritages.
查了下M-WEB:tradition is an inherited, established, or customary pattern of thought, action, or behavior(as religious practice or a social custom) 所以纽约的大都会博物馆，莫斯科的红场，埃及的金字塔，希腊的宙斯神庙，北京的故宫等等building都不能算tradition的.