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[i习作temp] 由习作引发的关于行文的思考 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-2-12 11:20:04 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 huali1234 于 2009-2-12 11:26 编辑

Issue 212 "If a goal is worthy, then any means taken to attain it is justifiable."

In order to get a good job, students study hard; in order to get their business progressed, businessman work hard; in order to apply for a graduate school in America, I’m preparing the GRE with great effort. Every thing has a goal, no matter whether it is big or small, worthy or meaningless, close or far. The statement says that if the goal is worthy then any means taken to attain it is justifiable. However, I could not agree with it completely. In my opinion, either the goal or the means to achieve the goal makes a big difference to the things, to some extent.

Before my analysis about this issue, I’d like to explain the relationships between the goal and means in a same thing. An affair can be divided into three parts: the motivation, the ways to make it, the results and affects. Every part accounts the the quality of the affair, and both the fore two parts could play a significant role in the result of the thing. So it is not always ture that only the meaningful goal could contribute to a nice result, without the rational ways.

If the goal is worthwhile, one could take any means to approach it, of course, under the prior condition- never disturb even hurt other’s benefit. These cases are mostly the personal affairs, like to realise one’s dream. For example, I’m being engaged in working hard on both my own subject and my English capability, wishing to get high scores on my college performance and my GRE&TOEFL. Furthermore, I hope to get an offer from a good graduate school. This goal is really meaningful to me, because I always dream to become a distinguished scientist, since my childhood. And to be allowed into a good school is a great way to make it. So I devoted myself into the these things, no matter what kind of pain and loneliness I would suffer. The procedure and the goal are both of worth, and I do will get a satisfaction from it, without not hurt anyone’s benefit.

On the contrary, if a mean to achieve the goal is potential to do harm to someone’s legal benefit, it should be not taken into use. To think about the relationship of the parts of a thing I have embodied above, though first the motivation is good, it may turn out a terrible or even horrible result, if the wrong ways are applied to the procedure. For instance, there is a famous period in Chinese history, the Culture Revolution. Chairman Mao wanted to get a better orderly society. The idea was nice, but the means he took are irrational. In the progress of this period, Chinese people suffered a lot. And as a result, the wholy society is in a babelism. Through this example, the reasonable approachs to be used to achieve the goal should be attached importance to , admittedly.

Analysising the issue carefully, step by step, I could draw a conclusion that to ensure that both the goal and the ways are of great importance to realize something; to understand the relationship between the three parts would benefit either the single or the community. Take a worthy destination, and drive on a reasonable way.

这是我的一篇习作。经我的一个G友看过。她发现我一些习作不合一般的一些套路。所以贴在这里向大家求教。看看哪些是可行的,哪些不行。
习作开头如果不是单刀直入,而是先由大背景切入,这样可不可取?
这篇习作里,我的论点是这样安排的。先陈述means和goal的关系。 再说在不影响他人合法利益时,只要目的值得,采取各种方法是可以的。然后说不恰当的途径会影响效果,反而达不到原来的goal。
这样的话,第一个论述段就完全是说理。这样会不会比较空。
谢谢各位,先。麻烦大家仁者见仁,智者见智。


https://bbs.gter.net/forum.php?mod=viewthread&tid=915495&extra 这是我改过的作文
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沙发
发表于 2009-2-12 11:26:53 |只看该作者
自己先顶一下

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Libra天秤座 荣誉版主 GRE斩浪之魂 GRE守护之星

板凳
发表于 2009-2-12 11:44:57 |只看该作者
楼主似乎没有谈到worthy...看过以前的讨论,认为worthy也是一个关键词。不过worthy其实和你的不伤害别人利益的goal是有一些关系的。第一段的说理感觉完全没有必要...
我写这篇issue时,是批判不正当的方法(走后门,耍诡计等...)提倡要用正当的方法去取得成功。
因为当时那个题目的翻译是:只要目标值得,可以不择手段去达到他。(我觉得这个挺合理的...)当然,大家也可以有不同意见

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地板
发表于 2009-2-12 13:43:03 |只看该作者
哦,这个倒是。有几个朋友的这篇题目就是把重点放在worthy上。 看来还得研究一下,每道题的破题点。 谢谢哈! 3# xiaoyaozi5566

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