【☆09GRE作文冲刺组】圣斗士2月23日作文Issue208

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Issue 208 The way people look, dress, and act reveals their attitude and interest. You can tell much about a society’s ideas and values by obeserving the appearance and behavior of its people.
(540words, 50mins)
As a saying goes, you can tell a person much through the way he/she act and dress. It is true that people’s appearance and behavior to some extent can reflect ones' life attitudes and interests, even whose society's ideas and values at large. However, is it really accurate to judge one society merely depending on people's appearance or behavior? As far as I am concerned, I hold diverse opinions with the author, the reasons as follows.

Admittedly, since people's behavior is dominated by one's mind and ideal, we can get some information about one's insight by observing his or her behavior and appearance. For example, the person who has a preference on dressing inexpensive clothes might prefer saving to spending. People whose behavior is lively and active probably possess a positive life attitude than those people who are morose and depressive all the time. Also, generally, from the differences between people dresses in different countries you can tell something about distinct values and ideas of different nations. For instance, American like to dress colorful clothes; France tend to choice romantic garment; Japanese are more willing to dress formal wearing. What’s more. a society whose members prefer to wear clothing that is traditional and distinct is one that values tradition over modernization.

However, sometimes, you can not judge a book by its cover. The appearance and behavior of people might be deceiving, which also means that some people do not pay much attention on the dress and look. An apt instance is the Albert Einstein. If you have never seen him ever before, you can never image that his figure, one of the greatest person in the world history, is an old man whose white hairs are wild and cloth is plain. In addition, in many cases, in the limitation of objectively rules or law, it is hard for people to show themselves through dress or behavior. In modern society, no only the schools, but also those big companies, restaurants are all require its members to dress the uniform and regulate their behavior. Thus, the appearance or behavior is not an effective way to judge a person, let alone touch the ideas and value of their society.

Finally, rather than people’s appearance and behavior, there are many other factors actually represent the ideas and values of certain societies. In United States, the society’s value might includes the material comfort, wealth, competition, individualism, and religiosity, all of which often be identified by nothing which people receive honor and respect. For example, in US, professional athletes are more highly honored than college professors, partly because the society values physical activity and competition more than mental activity and education. Therefore, since the values and ideas always exist in human’s deep heats, it is too superficial to measure a society just depending on its people’s appearance.

All in all, although we can get many information about people’s attitude and interest, however, if we want to deeply understand a society, only observing its people’s look, act, and dress is far from sufficient. After all, the values and ideas of a society are built on the basis of its people’s mental layer, only do we understand their ideology and thought, can we better comprehend their community at large.

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As a saying goes, you can tell a person much through the way he/she act and dress. It is true that people’s appearance and behavior to some extent can reflect ones' life attitudes and interests, even whose society's ideas and values at large. (此处没有错误，而是at large这个短语让我想起了它的另一个意思：在外逃遁。新概念3的第一篇课文……)However, is it really accurate to judge one society merely depending on people's appearance or behavior? As far as I am concerned, I hold diverse opinions with the author, the reasons as follows.
以公众广泛接受的观点切入很好，使得之后提出自己的观点及建议时能更为读者所接受，所谓拉近了距离。

Admittedly, since people's behavior is dominated by one's mind and ideal, we can get some information about one's insight by observing his or her behavior and appearance. For example, the person who has a preference on dressing inexpensive clothes might prefer saving to spending. People whose behavior is lively and active probably possess a positive life attitude than those people who are morose and depressive all the time. Also, generally, from the differences between people dresses in different countries you can tell something about distinct values and ideas of different nations. For instance, American like to dress colorful clothes; France tend to choice romantic garment; Japanese are more willing to dress formal wearing. What’s more. a society whose members prefer to wear clothing that is traditional and distinct is one that values tradition over modernization.

However, sometimes, you can not judge a book by its cover. The appearance and behavior of people might be deceiving, which also means that some people do not pay much attention on the dress and look. An apt instance is the Albert Einstein. If you have never seen him ever before, you can never image that his figure, one of the greatest person in the world history, is an old man whose white hairs are wild and cloth is plain. (其实爱因斯坦在年轻的时候长得还是很不错的，也很注意打扮。之所以我们想到这个人，脑海中总会想起他那乱蓬蓬的头发和不修边幅的外表，可能还是受他老年的几张照片的影响。因此这个地方将爱因斯坦做例子可以更明确的指出是他的哪一时期，显得更为妥当。)In addition, in many cases, in the limitation of objectively rules or law, it is hard for people to show themselves through dress or behavior. In modern society, no only the schools, but also those big companies, restaurants are all require(requiring) its members to dress the uniform and regulate their behavior. Thus, the appearance or behavior is not an effective way to judge a person, let alone touch the ideas and value of their society.

Finally, rather than people’s appearance and behavior, there are many other factors actually represent the ideas and values of certain societies. In United States, the society’s value might includes the material comfort, wealth, competition, individualism, and religiosity, all of which often be identified by nothing which(这个地方有点看不大明白，which指代的是？) people receive honor and respect. For example, in US, professional athletes are more highly honored than college professors, partly because the society values physical activity and competition more than mental activity and education. (这一段的主题是还有别的方面能体现一个社会的思想和价值观，但这个例子讲的却是比起思想层面上的成果，美国更注重体育方面的成就，和主题没有必然联系，换一个例子会更妥当。)Therefore, since the values and ideas always exist in human’s deep heats, it is too superficial to measure a society just depending on its people’s appearance.

All in all, although we can get many information about people’s attitude and interest, however, if we want to deeply understand a society, only observing its people’s look, act, and dress is far from sufficient. After all, the values and ideas of a society are built on the basis of its people’s mental layer, only do we understand their ideology and thought, can we better comprehend their community at large.

文章的结构很清晰，提出主题后首先让步，接下来反驳，然后更进一步打压文章观点，显得很有层次，也很有力度。如果对例子的选取稍微注意的话会更有说服力。

PS: 今天很忙，做了一下午+一晚上的实验，所以回来晚了，改的不及时，抱歉啦。
另外也没怎么改过作文，经验欠缺，很多地方是个人观点，不代表你一定就是错的，或许看法不同而已～