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[a习作temp] 【☆09GRE作文冲刺组】圣斗士2月24日作文Arugment51 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-2-24 12:30:39 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
ARG 51

In this argument, the author concludes that the secondary infections influence the recover of muscle strain of patients, and recommends that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain should take antibiotics into their treatment. To prove it, the author then takes a study of two groups of patients who are receiving treatment under different doctors as evidence. However, this argument has a serial of fallacies that make it unconvincing as it stands.

One of the major problems in the argument is the study of two groups of patients. First, the author didn’t offer us any information about the two groups’ body conditions. This study can be considered reasonable only when it proves that all of the basic body conditions of the two groups of patients are the same. Without this evidence, it is entirely possible that the first group of people have better recover abilities than the second, so that even they did not take any antibiotics, they will heal more quickly, on average, than another group of patients. Even though all the patients in the study have the similar condition, we cannot ensure that the two doctors have the same or close level on the treatment of muscle strain. In common sense, we know that the doctor who specializes in sports have more knowledge and better ability to treat the muscle problem than the doctor who just a general physician. If the first group of people’s quick recuperation are due to the doctor’s personal ability rather than the medicine, then the author cannot justifiable concludes that it is the antibiotic that benefits to patient’s recover.

Another problem of this study is that whether the second group of patients exactly gets secondary infections. The author merely provides the information that the second group of people uses the sugar pills rather than the antibiotics. However, there is no evidence in this argument showing that they have suffered the secondary infections. If this was not the case, then the author cannot convince us that the secondary infections will keep patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain.

Even though this study is generally reliable, however, it is too superficial to recommend all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain should be advised to take antibiotics. Different patients have different situation. There is no evidence of study indicate that the antibiotic have the same efficient on all of people. What’s more? Some of patients may be sensitive to the antibiotics. Therefore, without considering the negative influence of the antibiotic medicine, we cannot suggest doctor to compel all of the patients who have muscle strain to use it as a part of their treatment.

To sum up, the arguer fails to ensure the validity of the study of two groups of patients who get muscle strain. To bolster it, the author must rule out other influences and potential factors that might affect the result of the study, including the difference between different patients’ body condition as well as the levels of different doctors. To better evaluate this argument, I also need to know whether this kind of antibiotic has any negative influence on some special people who are sensitive to it.
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发表于 2009-2-25 19:44:38 |只看该作者
ARG 51

In this argument, the author concludes that the secondary infections influence the recover of muscle strain of patients, and recommends that all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain should take antibiotics into their treatment. To prove it, the author then takes a study of two groups of patients who are receiving treatment under different doctors as evidence. However, this argument has a serial of fallacies that make it unconvincing as it stands.

One of the major problems in the argument is the study of two groups of patients.(这句有点笼统) First, (这个。。后面至少也要有个Then什么的词做个对应吧~)the author didn’t offer us any information about the two groups’ body conditions. This study can be considered reasonable only when it proves that all of the basic body conditions of the two groups of patients are the same. Without this evidence, it is entirely possible that the first group of people have better recover abilities than the second, so that even they did not take any antibiotics, they will heal more quickly, on average, than another group of patients. Even though all the patients in the study have the similar condition, we cannot ensure that the two doctors have the same or close level on the treatment of muscle strain. In common sense, we know that the doctor who specializes in sports have more knowledge and better ability to treat the muscle problem than the doctor who just a general physician. If the first group of people’s quick recuperation are due to the doctor’s personal ability rather than the medicine, then the author cannot justifiable concludes that it is the antibiotic that benefits to patient’s recover.

Another problem of this study is that whether the second group of patients exactly gets secondary infections. The author merely provides the information that the second group of people uses the sugar pills rather than the antibiotics. However, there is no evidence in this argument showing that they have suffered the secondary infections. If this was not the case, then the author cannot convince us that the secondary infections will keep patients from healing quickly after severe muscle strain.

Even though this study is generally reliable, however, it is too superficial to recommend all patients who are diagnosed with muscle strain should be advised to take antibiotics. Different patients have different situation. There is no evidence of study indicate that the antibiotic have the same efficient on all of people. What’s more? Some of patients may be sensitive to the antibiotics. Therefore, without considering the negative influence of the antibiotic medicine, we cannot suggest doctor to compel all of the patients who have muscle strain to use it as a part of their treatment.

To sum up, the arguer fails to ensure the validity of the study of two groups of patients who get muscle strain. To bolster it, the author must rule out other influences and potential factors that might affect the result of the study, including the difference between different patients’ body condition as well as the levels of different doctors. To better evaluate this argument, I also need to know whether this kind of antibiotic has any negative influence on some special people who are sensitive to it.

我觉得你这篇A写得不错~逻辑很清楚,语言用得还挺流畅的!
继续努力~

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RE: 【☆09GRE作文冲刺组】圣斗士2月24日作文Arugment51 [修改]

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