第一篇Argument1 求拍

babyblue312UID: 2608535

ARGUMENT1 - The following appeared in a memorandum written by the vice president of Nature's Way, a chain of stores selling health food and other health-related products.
"Previous experience has shown that our stores are most profitable in areas where residents are highly concerned with leading healthy lives. We should therefore build our next new store in Plainsville, which has many such residents. Plainsville merchants report that sales of running shoes and exercise clothing are at all-time highs. The local health club, which nearly closed five years ago due to lack of business, has more members than ever, and the weight training and aerobics classes are always full. We can even anticipate a new generation of customers: Plainsville's schoolchildren are required to participate in a 'fitness for life' program, which emphasizes the benefits of regular exercise at an early age."



In this arguement,the arguer is confident about that the store will gain great profits after new stores open in Plainsville.At first glance,the logic seems perfect with the arguer's analysis.However,several flaws exist.
By qoateting report from Plainsville merchants and making survey of a local health club,the arguer concludes that large market exists in Plainsville.He or she ignores that sales of running shoes and exercise cloting are at all-time highs cannot reveal the large number of consumers exist in Plainsville because that many people who actually dislike sports perfer wearing running shoes and exercise clothing just  like to enjoy the comfortable feeling of wearing sports items. Moreover.lacking both cute number of clud member and related rate makes the popularity of exercise regularly in Plainsville unconvicing.And the sample of survey is too small to cover all the local people.All of these fails to establish the fact that large number of consumers exist.
Another flaw that weaken this argument is that "fitness of life" program may not be taken seresely in all school and maybe only few students participate in the program.Thus the rate of exercise children is vague.Children now is too young to be consumers for their econimical depend on parents and parents always have rights to rule children's purchase.So that they may not bring profits.
Even there is large group of customers who indeed exercise regualary in Plainsville,they may not be intresisted in NW'S products.The arguer assumes unfairly that people will surely buy their products such as health food and other health-related products.Even they will buy these kind of products,custmers probably choose products from NW's competiters.
As we all know,building new stores and adversting new brands cost so large bughet.Disregarding of these cost,the arguer failed to conclude that new stores will be profitable.Even they gain profits,the argument cannot provide information that people's interest in sports will continue in the future.Something may change in lifestyle so they may dislike sports anymore.
At last,the memo may probably succeed if the vice president makes more related surveys about Plainsville.
(2009/3/4 0:19:51)

babyblue312UID: 2608535

大家狠狠的拍哈~

我自拍先：之一，有一些很严重的低级的单词拼写错误（⊙﹏⊙b汗死自己了）；第二，这个题目其实用逐步攻击更好不必强求用让步攻击；第三，每个理由的论证太少；第四，标志词的替换使用不灵活.........太多了！慢慢拍！！

原因总结：一，没有熟悉模板句子和替换词库。二，太强求用让步式攻击。三，某些单词出现了知道意思就是想不起怎么拼来......四，写于凌晨，有些困。

嗯，不啰嗦了。总之，拍就是了。以此自勉。

christmashtUID: 2572558

我今天也刚刚写了这篇文章，跟楼主共勉一下。
LZ第一段的攻击还可以，但是第二段的角度我觉得有问题，并不是所有的社会环境都会上有政策下有对策的，这样写会不会让ets的老古板们觉得我们在腐化社会风气？
姑且认为孩子们还是认真参加体育活动吧。
攻击的角度有很多。
例如，销售量大并不代表利润多；孩子们今天参加活动不一定将来还会参加；过去的经验证明盈利，现在的形式可能发生了变化......
个人见解，我今年三月底机考，lz呢？

christmashtUID: 2572558

我今天也刚刚写了这篇文章，跟楼主共勉一下。
LZ第一段的攻击还可以，但是第二段的角度我觉得有问题，并不是所有的社会环境都会上有政策下有对策的，这样写会不会让ets的老古板们觉得我们在腐化社会风气？
姑且认为孩子们还是认真参加体育活动吧。
攻击的角度有很多。
例如，销售量大并不代表利润多；孩子们今天参加活动不一定将来还会参加；过去的经验证明盈利，现在的形式可能发生了变化......
个人见解，我今年三月底机考，lz呢？

babyblue312UID: 2608535

3# christmasht
嗯嗯~后来拿去和同学交流的时候也发现这个问题.......我还是不太会找理由，继续熟悉错误分类~现在终于记住了关于盈利类问题可以去攻击利润不一定会按照原有模式继续下去。
非常感谢你拍我的作文！！！！:loveliness:

P.S.我也是三月末的AW，3月31，济南山大考场。你呢？