TOEFL 2009上半年-Dark_Tournament写作组 yoyodandy第11次作业

yoyodandyUID: 2456812

We are taught to solve questions to use our own knowledge and experience when we were young since it would bring us happiness and make us feel confident to ourselves. Contrary to the opinion of many people is my heartfelt agreement with the idea that we should ask other people for advice.

In the first place, we now do not have enough experience. The knowledge which our teachers and parents have is much larger than we have. Ask other people for advice can not only help us to solve the issue perfectly but also give us a chance to gain something new. Newton, the physicist who made a large reputation in the field of physics and had a world-wide fame name once said this,”I’m not bright than anyone else, the reason why I am successful than someone is I am standing on giant’s shoulder.” He pointed out that if human beings wanted to be better they should ask other people for advice and adopt other’s advanced technology.

From my point of view, even the best man in the world needs the advice from others. Confucius, a celebrated educator living in China thousands years ago “There must be a person among three who is better than me even in a tiny place can be my teacher and give me some useful information.” Knowledgeable though he was, he accepted other one’s opinion sincerely. Finally he created the school, the Confucianism which has a giant influence on the whole Chinese history. When such a noted person believe that he should learn from others, isn’t it necessary for us to take him as a model?

Surely, it’s solving the issue by using the knowledge we gained that brings us much more experience. The more knowledge we get, the easier for us to settle the question the next time. Undoubtedly, if we people turn to others for help as soon as we meet with matters, we would not be independent enough and strong enough to finish the difficulties.

In general, considerable though the advantages that solving issues through the knowledge we obtained are, they can not compete with the benefits that asking someone else for help brings about. I am strongly vote for the idea that we should ask others for advice.

wazzaUID: 2473807

1# yoyodandy

We are taught to solve questions to use our own knowledge and experience when we were young（young的定义很模糊，40岁之前都可以很young） since it would bring us happiness and make us feel confident to（with） ourselves. Contrary to the opinion of many people（读起来有点拗口，很少这样用） is my heartfelt agreement with the idea（删除） that we should ask other people for advice. In the first place, we now do not have enough experience. The knowledge which our teachers and parents have is much larger（直接用more） than we have. Asking other people for advice can not only help us to solve the issue perfectly but also give us a chance to gain something new. Newton, the physicist who made a large reputation in the field of physics and had a world-wide fame name once said this,”I’m not bright than anyone else, the reason why I am successful than someone is that I am standing on giant’s shoulder.” He pointed out that if human beings wanted to be better they should ask other people for advice and adopt other’s advanced technology. From my point of view, even the best man in the world needs the advice from others. Confucius, a celebrated educator living in China thousands years ago “There must be a person among three who is better than me even in a tiny place can be my teacher and give me some useful information.”(此句的主谓宾？？？？） Knowledgeable though he was, he accepted other one’s opinion sincerely.（不错的句型 :) ） Finally he created the school, the Confucianism which has a giant influence on the whole Chinese history. When such a noted person believe that he should learn from others, isn’t it necessary for us to take him as a model? Surely, it’s solving the issue by using the knowledge we gained that（此强调句有点头重脚轻） brings us much more experience. The more knowledge we get, the easier for us to settle the question the next time. Undoubtedly, if we people turn to others for help as soon as we meet with matters, we would not be independent enough and strong enough to finish（用词不当） the difficulties. In general, considerable though the advantages that solving issues through the knowledge we obtained are, they can not compete with the benefits that asking someone else for help brings about. I am strongly vote for the idea that we should ask others for advice. 注意：1.文中有不少基础错误，如be动词与动词配搭不当，句子成分残缺             2、尽量少用we等第一人称，用people、person等第三人称显得更加客观             3、something、good、interesting之类的词太过抽象，尽量少用            4、强烈建议写好后自己copy到word里自己修改一篇再发上来 :loveliness: 加油！！！！

zrtibtUID: 2509782

1# yoyodandy

HI~我是79#的童鞋~

We are taught to solve questions to use our own knowledge and experience when we were young since it would bring us happiness and make us feel confident to ourselves我觉得换成.(self-confidence)不错 Contrary to the opinion of many people is my heartfelt 很好~agreement with the idea (可以省略) that we should ask other people for advice.

In the first place, we now do not have enough experience. The knowledge which our teachers and parents have is much larger (richer)than we have. Ask other people for advice can not only help us to solve the issue perfectly but also give us a chance to gain something new.（很好 ）（可以加个‘for example’引入一下，要不有点突然）Newton, the physicist who made a large reputation in the field of physics and had a world-wide fame name once said this,”I’m not brighter than anyone else, the reason why I am successful than someone is I am standing on giant’s shoulder.” He pointed out that if human beings wanted to be better they should ask other people for advice and adopt other’s advanced technology.

From my point of view, even the best (great)man in the world needs the advice from others. Confucius, a celebrated educator living in China thousands years ago “There must be a person among three who is better than me even in a tiny place can be my teacher and give me some useful information.” Knowledgeable though he was, he accepted other one’s opinion sincerely. Finally he created the school, the Confucianism which has a giant influence on the whole Chinese history. When such a noted person believe that he should learn from others, isn’t it necessary for us to take him as a model?(表达的不太清楚)

Surely, it’s solving the issue by using the knowledge we gained that brings us much more experience. The more knowledge we get, the easier for us to settle the question the next time.（我很喜欢） Undoubtedly, if we（可以去掉） people turn to others for help as soon as we meet with matters, we would not be independent enough and strong enough to finish（get over） the difficulties.

In general, considerable though the advantages that solving issues through the knowledge we obtained are, they can not compete with the benefits that asking someone else for help brings about. I am strongly vote for （advocate to）the idea that we should ask others for advice

综述

1。全文整体结构清晰完整

2。斟酌一下词汇的选择会更好

3。要有几个词的过渡引起例子会比较自然

再接再厉，望共同进步！