ARGUMENT242【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK I yuyu7yaya

yuyu7yayaUID: 2461700

Since honor codes could do much to reduce the cheating rate in Groveton, other institutions should adopt it as well -- this argument, supported by the seemingly successful use of honor codes in Groveton as an apparently objective survey shows, is presented very clearly but not so logically in the article.

To begin with, the statistic offered by the recent survey is not invulnerable.First, I doubt the facticity of interviewee’s words.It is possible that, in oder to generate the given conclution, surveyors of Groveton would like to lead all interviwees towards the parth that they except. Under the monitoring of surveyors, a part of students might choose to sacrifice their honesty for college’s trust. Once there is a hiatus between the words and the practice of Groveton’s students, the one-sided result is easily to be developed with untruth. Even if all the students are approved to tell the truth, I still question the typicality of the sample of students seclected in this inverstigation. Obviously, variations such as gender, age, personality and the like remain significant for the last judgement and hence it is safe to say that reasonable and just conclusion is impossible if few boys or seniors would like to provide their answer to investigators.

Secondly, just assuming that the statistic from above survey is appropriate, I wonder whether honor codes is the only or the main factor of cheating decline? After all, Besides of honor codes, the changes introduced into Groveton in the past five years could be great. For instance, examinations in this school probably have become easier and consequentially there is no need to cheat for a higher score; scholarships and other honors are awarded to one no longer for her/his excellent marks but also for her/his honesty and integrity. If so, the effectiveness of honor codes couldn’t be told from other's and therefore, no conclusion about this means on leading cheating rate lower should be confirmed.


Even I admit that honor codes surely works very well on limiting cheating rate in in Groveton,to say the least, method available for Groveton College may be not possible for other institutions. Demographics of populations perhaps remain diverse from one school to another:students in Groveton may hold higher qualities who cherish their credit, or process super abilty to control themselves from cheating, or inherit the traditional thought to consider cheating as shameful, and therefore has no interest in cheating. What’s more, different management systems may be also existing in those universities and colleges: For them, whether one student is good or not probably can't be measured with scores, so students’ attention is distracted from getting higher score--without doubt, in this situation, no measure seems necessary to take. Considering all this above, it is not sane to copy Groveton’s method without any revising.

All in all, this article’s conclusion that “Since honor codes could do much to reduce the cheating rate in Groveton, other institutions should adopt it as well” as I mentioned in the very beginning is easily arguable.Honor codes should be accepted as one possible measure to grapple with cheating, but not the panacea which could always be applied no matter wherever, whenever and whatever. For this reason, each university should take their own steps against cheating that suit local circumstances.




第一篇作文，写了一天，脑细胞死伤无数，可是还是感觉晕晕的。使用的单词，句型和词组实在是没什么技术含量，也就是cet作文的及格水平……而且字数也不够600字，只有544个……
8过，写了!that's a good start!
请指教！

vidyaUID: 2599950

ARGUMENT242【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK I yuyu7yaya

本帖最后由 yuyu7yaya 于 2009-3-10 21:39 编辑
Since honor codes could do much to reduce the cheating rate in Groveton, other institutions should adopt it as well -- this argument, supported by the seemingly successful use of honor codes in Groveton as an apparently objective survey shows, is presented very clearly but not so logically in the article.
To begin with, the statistic offered by the recent survey is not invulnerable. First, I doubt the facticity of interviewee’s words. It is possible that, in oder(order) to generate the given conclution(conclusion), surveyors of Groveton would like to lead all interviwees towards the parth (path)that they except. Under the monitoring of surveyors, a part of students might choose to sacrifice their honesty for college’s trust. Once there is a hiatus between the words and the practice of Groveton’s students, the one-sided result is easily to be developed with untruth. Even if all the students are approved to tell the truth, I still question the typicality of the sample of students seclected(selected) in this inverstigation(investigation). (个人觉得此句觉得用让步逻辑，有点牵强，用In addition 效果可能会更好。)Obviously, variations such as gender, age, personality and the like remain significant for the last judgement and hence it is safe to say that reasonable and just conclusion is impossible if few boys or seniors would like to provide their answer to investigators.(此句灵活运用了长难句，很棒！it is safe to say that reasonable and just conclusion is impossible if few boys or seniors would like to provide their answer to investigators.但是这部分我没读懂。)

Secondly, just assuming that the statistic from above survey is appropriate, I wonder whether honor codes is the only or the main factor of cheating decline?（这里的让步我也觉得有点，可以直接指出cheating decline 是由其他因素引起的。） After all, Besides of honor codes, the changes introduced into Groveton in the past five years could be great. For instance, examinations in this school probably have become easier and consequentially there is no need to cheat for a higher score; scholarships and other honors are awarded to one no longer for her/his excellent marks but also for her/his honesty and integrity. （感觉这句话里的honesty和后面的一句话有点自相矛盾）If so, the effectiveness of honor codes couldn’t be told from other's and therefore, no conclusion about this means on leading cheating rate lower should be confirmed.
Even I admit that honor codes surely works very well on limiting cheating rate in in Groveton, to say the least, method available for Groveton College may be not possible for other institutions. Demographics of populations perhaps remain diverse from one school to another:students in Groveton may hold higher qualities who cherish their credit, or process super abilty to control themselves from cheating, or inherit the traditional thought to consider cheating as shameful, and therefore has no appetite to cheat. What’s more, different management systems may be also existing in those universities and colleges: For them, whether one student is good or not probably can't be measured with scores, so students’ attention is distracted from getting higher score--without doubt, in this situation, no measure seems necessary to take. Considering all this above, it is not sane to copy Groveton’s method without any revising.
All in all, this article’s conclusion that “Since honor codes could do much to reduce the cheating rate in Groveton, other institutions should adopt it as well” as I mentioned in the very beginning is easily arguable. Honor codes should be accepted as one possible measure to grapple with cheating, but not the panacea which could always be applied no matter wherever, whenever and whatever. For this reason, each university should take their own steps against cheating that suit local circumstances.

楼主的文章和米饭童鞋的文章在结构上比较相似，但是给人的感觉都很好，而且楼主在文章中运用了大量GRE词汇，说明楼主的红宝背得很扎实，想想自己的红宝进度真是感觉好惭愧，还有能将长难句活学活用，这点非常值得本人学习！至于其他方面的错误，限于本人水平有限，实在是找不出，还请楼主海涵！

至于文章中两次提到让步的问题是受到了irvine666斑竹的一篇帖子的影响，楼主有兴趣可以看看，https://bbs.gter.net/viewthread.php?tid=921368&highlight=，如果认为我说的不对，楼主就将它置之脑后吧！

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

Since honor codes could do much to reduce the cheating rate in Groveton, other institutions should adopt it as well -- this argument, supported by the seemingly successful use of honor codes in Groveton as an apparently objective survey shows, is presented very clearly but not so logically in the article.

To begin with, the statistic offered by the recent survey is not invulnerable.First, I doubt the facticity of interviewee’s（inrerviewees’）
words.It is possible that, in oder to generate the given conclution, surveyors of Groveton would like to lead all interviwees towards the parth(额。。。是不是想用path？) that they except（-ed）. Under the monitoring of surveyors, a part of students might choose to sacrifice their honesty for (the)college’s trust. Once there is a hiatus between the words and the practice of Groveton’s students, the one-sided result is easily to be developed with untruth.
Even if all the students are approved to tell the truth, I still question the typicality of the sample of students seclected in this inverstigation. Obviously, variations such as gender, age, personality（我觉着这几个词应该用pl.不着对不对
。。。）and the like（等等） remain significant for the last judgement and hence it is safe to say that（a?这个that是从句连词还是指示代词？要是后者则删a，要是前者则需a） reasonable and just conclusion is impossible if few boys or seniors would like to provide their answer to investigators.（额。。。。这里有点费解，解释下boys or seniors在survey里起的作用会好些。。。）

Secondly, just assuming that（衔接很好）
the statistic from above survey（我会把语序调整为the survey above） is appropriate, I wonder whether honor codes is the only or the main factor of cheating decline? After all, Besides of honor codes, the changes introduced into Groveton in the past five years could be great. For instance, examinations in this school probably have become easier and consequentially there is no need to cheat for a higher score; scholarships and other honors are awarded to one no longer for her/his excellent marks but also(这里用的不对应吧not only….but also/no longer….but…) for her/his honesty and integrity. If so, the effectiveness of honor codes couldn’t be told from other's（不好意思啊，虾米意思？） and therefore, no conclusion about this means on leading cheating rate lower should be confirmed.


Even I admit that honor codes surely works very well on limiting cheating rate in Groveton,to say the least, method（-s） available for Groveton College may be not possible for other institutions. Demographics of populations perhaps remain diverse from one school to another:students in Groveton may hold higher qualities who cherish their credit, or process(possess,笔误啊笔误~) super abilty（ability） to control themselves from cheating, or inherit the traditional thought to consider cheating as shameful, and therefore has(have) no appetite to cheat. What’s more, different management systems may be also existing in those universities and colleges: For them, whether one student is good or not probably can't be measured with scores, so students’ attention is distracted from getting higher score(-s)--without doubt, in this situation, no measure seems necessary to take. （这里逻辑有点问题啊，argument里讨论的就是需要采取措施降低作弊率的学校们~）Considering all this above, it is not sane to copy Groveton’s method without any revising.

All in all, this article’s conclusion that “Since honor codes could do much to reduce the cheating rate in Groveton, other institutions should adopt it as well” as I mentioned in（at） the very beginning is easily arguable.Honor codes should be accepted as one possible measure to grapple with cheating, but not the panacea which could always be applied no matter wherever, whenever and whatever.(这个总结性的句子简洁且切中要害~) For this reason, each university should take their own steps against cheating that suit local circumstances.



Summary:有改的不对的地方多多包涵哈~
思路好呀，绝对做到了对关节进行攻击！！（泪。。。。为啥我就做不到。。。。）
对survey的攻击很充分：1、取证片面 2、就算取证可以接受，结果也不一定都是因为honor codes3、就算1、2都能苟同，那各个学校的情况也不一样
真真好！！（情不自禁~）
意见&建议：
只有一点小小遗憾就是没有对contrast的论证，不然这篇的logic真是没的说！！
还有就是就是笔误啊笔误呵呵~

yuyu7yayaUID: 2461700

2# vidya
灰常感谢！辛苦啦~~~

yuyu7yayaUID: 2461700

3# 米饭袜子
真是麻烦你帮我修改处这么多拼写错误了！非常感谢！辛苦！

米饭袜子UID: 2532172

5# yuyu7yaya
米吐米吐啊:loveliness:

艾尘草UID: 2591798

Since honor codes could do much to reduce the cheating rate in Groveton, other institutions should adopt it as well -- this argument, supported by the seemingly successful use of honor codes in Groveton as an apparently objective survey shows, is presented very clearly but not so logically in the article.（一句话好强~呵呵长句子~）
To begin with, the statistic offered by the recent survey is not invulnerable.First, I doubt the facility of interviewee’s（所有格形式） words .It is possible that, in oder（order，oder是颂歌的意思） to generate the given conclution, surveyors of Groveton would like to lead all interviwees towards the parth（path） that they except. Under the monitoring of surveyors, a part of students might choose to sacrifice their honesty for college’s trust. Once there is a hiatus between the words and the practice of Groveton’s students, the one-sided result is easily to be developed with untruth. Even if all the students are approved to tell the truth, I still question the typicality of the sample of students seclected in this inverstigation. Obviously, variations such as gender, age, personality（复数） and the like remain significant for the last judgement and hence it is safe to say that reasonable and just conclusion is impossible if few boys or seniors would like to provide their answer（s） to investigators.

Secondly, just assuming that the statistic（s） from above survey is appropriate, I wonder whether honor codes is the only or the main factor of cheating decline?（。） After all, Besides of honor codes, the changes introduced into Groveton in the past five years could be great. For instance, examinations in this school probably have become easier and consequentially there is no need to cheat for a higher score; scholarships and other honors are awarded to one no longer for her/his excellent marks but also for her/his honesty and integrity. If so, the effectiveness of honor codes couldn’t be told from other's and therefore, no conclusion about this means on leading cheating rate lower（这个短语的语序貌似有点问题 lower cheating rate?） should be confirmed.


Even I admit that honor codes surely works very well on limiting cheating rate in Groveton,to say the least, method(s) available for Groveton College may be not possible for other institutions. Demographics of populations perhaps remain diverse from one school to another:students in Groveton may hold higher qualities who cherish their credit, or process super abilty to control themselves from cheating, or inherit the traditional thought to consider cheating as shameful, and therefore has no interest in cheating. What’s more, different management systems may be also existing（这个地方的时态用一般时态就好把~） in those universities and colleges: For them, whether one student is good or not probably can't be measured with（by） scores, so students’ attention(s) is(are) distracted from getting higher score(s)--without doubt, in this situation, no measure seems necessary to take. Considering all this above, it is not sane to copy Groveton’s method without any revising.

All in all, this article’s conclusion that “Since honor codes could do much to reduce the cheating rate in Groveton, other institutions should adopt it as well” as I mentioned in the very beginning is easily arguable.Honor codes should be accepted as one possible measure to grapple with cheating, but not the panacea which could always be applied no matter wherever, whenever and whatever. For this reason, each university should take their own steps against cheating that suit local circumstances.
对不起哈~前两天生病了~昨天只弄了一篇~所以没有及时批改~
个人拙见：这个文章感觉好流畅~长句子好强（~o~）~开头和结尾都正中要害~呵呵~无限佩服中。。
逻辑分析很好，例子也很充分，特别是排比结构赞一个
再次佩服中。。
希望作者的长句子的概率出现少一些~因为整体感觉因为长句子而有些繁琐~~
黄色的是我很喜欢的~

yuyu7yayaUID: 2461700

7# 艾尘草 [/b
灰常感谢小草童鞋！我会认真再修改一遍的。谢谢了！辛苦了！！