ISSUE143/144【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK I BY xylibby

xylibbyUID: 2432289

好不容易挤出来了,求pia


TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

Nowadays people tend to consider more about critic's opinions when appreciating pieces of arts, but does this mean critic gives the public valuable work of art? I strongly disagree with that. As far as I concerned, though critics could help the public to better understand the meaning of a art piece, it is the artist who creates the masterpiece.

We have to admit that critics have a strong influence on people's view about the art crafts. Most of the critics are equipped with certain knowledge and background, and are sensitive to the value of art pieces, which consequently enable them to provide the public some angle to appreciate the art pieces, and therefore discover something of lasting value.

However, sometimes it is hard to ensure the reliability of the critics, since there are so many of them in a certain field. Perhaps most people will choose the most popular one. But how can we know the critic is well qualified for his name? It is hard to say. Meanwhile, the words of a critic could only reveal his own opinion, and might mislead the views of the public. Too many critical words might prevent deep consideration of the public, who might get used to depend on what critics' say, and forget to enjoy the craft in their own way. Worse still, public opinion influenced by critics may be the pressure to minorities with different ideas, and these minorities might doubt their own views, which finally cause the lose of many valuable opinions.

On the other hand, it is the artists who created something of lasting value, and critics sometimes even fail to act. The art works are something that can be shown in splendid colors and figures in paintings, be read through lines, and be conducted by movement of symphonies. They serve as communication between the authors and visitors, readers and audiences, while no other interpretation or introduction is needed. Before my roommates and I first saw the movie Mr. Butterfly, we referred a movie commentary and compared the opinion of the critic with the movie; finally we were quite disappointed as there was little accordance between the two. Several months later, forgetting the comments, I decided to watch the movie again, and this time I was moved by the performance of the actors.

What's more, time is the only way to test the value of art works. Lots of artists not well accepted by critics and public are well known now for their masterpieces, ranging from Von Gough to Beethoven, who were geniuses running far beyond public and critic contemporary, but were proved to be great master now. Compared to the continuous development of arts, people's views of arts seem to be short-dated.

In sum, critic could help to show the value of arts, yet couldn't be considered to be the principle or direction of art appreciation; sometimes it may even mislead the public and leave the most sophisticated values out. After all, artists are the real heroes to create valuable pieces and deserve to be remembered by people.

PassonChenUID: 2614331

1# xylibby

PassonChenUID: 2614331

ISSUE143/144【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK I BY xylibby
dies in flames, 0910G, i144
好不容易挤出来了,求pia
红色：好；黄色：欠佳

TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

Nowadays people tend to consider more about critic's opinions when appreciating pieces of arts, but does this mean critic gives the public valuable work of art?
（空话，且无依据）I strongly disagree with that. As far as I concerned, though critics could help the public to better understand the meaning of a art piece, it is the artist who creates the masterpiece.
（赞同题目观点。太干脆，如果没有好的理由的话，这不大好。）

We have to admit that critics have a strong influence on people's view about the art crafts. Most of the critics are equipped with certain knowledge and background, and are sensitive to the value of art pieces, which consequently enable them to provide the public some angle（perspectives better）
to appreciate the art pieces, and therefore discover something of lasting value.
What is something of lasting value? How does it come into being? The proof here is not adequate and kind of illogic.

However, sometimes it is hard to ensure the reliability of the critics, since there are so many of them in a certain field. Perhaps most people will choose the most popular one.(perhaps not!) But how can we know (whether) the critic is well qualified for his name? It is hard to say. (redundant) Meanwhile, the words of a critic could only reveal his own opinion, and might mislead the views of the public. Too many critical words might prevent deep consideration of the public, who might get used to depend on what critics' say, and forget to enjoy the craft in their own way.(Are they stupid?no)Worse still, public opinion influenced by critics may be the pressure to minorities with different ideas, and these minorities might doubt their own views, which finally cause the lose of many valuable opinions
论述批评家的误导性。
.(everybody has his or her own judgement! Not only the critic!)

On the other hand, it is the artists who created something of lasting value, and critics sometimes even fail to act. The art works are something that can be shown in splendid colors and figures in paintings, be read through lines, and be conducted by movement of symphonies.（艺术也包括建筑，雕塑等，这里是列举不充分。对概念理解欠缺！） They serve as communication between the authors and visitors, readers and audiences, while no other interpretation or introduction is needed. Before my roommates and I first saw the movie Mr. Butterfly, we referred a movie commentary and compared the opinion of the critic with the movie; finally we were quite disappointed as there was little accordance between the two. Several months later, forgetting the comments, I decided to watch the movie again, and this time I was moved by the performance of the actors. （举了一个例子，但对例子的评述不充分）
艺术家创造艺术品，但挂羊头卖狗肉。下面根本没有对此进行论证。例子跑调了！

What's more, time is the only way to test the value of art works. Lots of artists not well accepted by critics and public are well known now for their masterpieces, ranging from Von Gough to Beethoven, who were geniuses running far beyond public and critic contemporary, but were proved to be great master now. Compared to the continuous development of arts, people's views of arts seem to be short-dated.

In sum, critic scould help to show the value of arts, yet couldn't be considered to be the principle or direction of art appreciation; (主宾不是一个范畴)sometimes it may even mislead the public and leave the most sophisticated values out. After all, artists are the real heroes to create valuable pieces and deserve to be remembered by people.
评价：思维：全面地，历史地，发展地，辩证地分析问题
      思路：论点，论据，论证
      结构：篇章结构，段落结构，句子结构
      语言：词法，句法，修辞

从思维上来说：艺术家与批评家，作者重心在后者。没有论述好他们的相互的关系，也没能体现出自己的超越话题的洞察，是一大憾事！分论点不能很好的支持总论点，分论点本身也没能是到很好的支持。逻辑推理的基本原理太欠缺了，比如问题是从定义出发的，首先应明白定义的内涵和外延方可使用。不全面，不历史，不发展，不辩证，思维不算成功。
从思路上来说：论点不新，太直白；论据不足，有的论据也没能很好的利用，有的论据不支持论点；论证自然不怎样了，因为逻辑不通。分论点不能支持总论点。而且分论点也太贬低批评家了，对他们数了一大推不足，难道他们真的是这样。很多哲学家，比如康德，黑格儿，马克思，艺术家比如克罗齐，丹纳，罗丹，本身也是批评家。他们真的这样不堪入目？这也是不历史的表现。
结构没什么特别，就不说有什么好的段内结构和句内结构了。
语言太平，句式太单调，词汇用法也不够好。语言素材的积累太少。建议去背点经典的素材，做点像新概念四的前面几课那种段落练习。
宏观把握好是写好的第一步，进阶的就靠结构和语言。
改得有点过分，不过我是从我的标准来的，尽管这个标准高得我自己也不能达到。请不要介意。

PassonChenUID: 2614331

ISSUE143/144【DIES IN FLAMES 0910G长线突破组】TASK I BY xylibby
dies in flames, 0910G, i144
好不容易挤出来了,求pia


TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

Nowadays people tend to consider more about critic's opinions when appreciating pieces of arts, but does this mean critic gives the public valuable work of art?
（空话，且无依据）I strongly disagree with that. As far as I concerned, though critics could help the public to better understand the meaning of a art piece, it is the artist who creates the masterpiece.
（赞同题目观点。太干脆，如果没有好的理由的话，这不大好。）

We have to admit that critics have a strong influence on people's view about the art crafts. Most of the critics are equipped with certain knowledge and background, and are sensitive to the value of art pieces, which consequently enable them to provide the public some angle（perspectives better）
to appreciate the art pieces, and therefore discover something of lasting value.
What is something of lasting value? How does it come into being? The proof here is not adequate and kind of illogic.

However, sometimes it is hard to ensure the reliability of the critics, since there are so many of them in a certain field. Perhaps most people will choose the most popular one.(perhaps not!) But how can we know (whether) the critic is well qualified for his name? It is hard to say. (redundant) Meanwhile, the words of a critic could only reveal his own opinion, and might mislead the views of the public. Too many critical words might prevent deep consideration of the public, who might get used to depend on what critics' say, and forget to enjoy the craft in their own way.(Are they stupid?no)Worse still, public opinion influenced by critics may be the pressure to minorities with different ideas, and these minorities might doubt their own views, which finally cause the lose of many valuable opinions
论述批评家的误导性。
.(everybody has his or her own judgement! Not only the critic!)

On the other hand, it is the artists who created something of lasting value, and critics sometimes even fail to act. （没例子；但历史上对这句话的反例倒不少，丹纳，罗丹，等）The art works are something that can be shown in splendid colors and figures in paintings, be read through lines, and be conducted by movement of symphonies.（艺术也包括建筑，雕塑等，这里是列举不充分。对概念理解欠缺！） They serve as communication between the authors and visitors, readers and audiences, while no other interpretation or introduction is needed. Before my roommates and I first saw the movie Mr. Butterfly, we referred a movie commentary and compared the opinion of the critic with the movie; finally we were quite disappointed as there was little accordance between the two. Several months later, forgetting the comments, I decided to watch the movie again, and this time I was moved by the performance of the actors. （举了一个例子，但对例子的评述不充分）
艺术家创造艺术品，但挂羊头卖狗肉。下面根本没有对此进行论证。例子跑调了！

What's more, time is the only way to test the value of art works. Lots of artists not well accepted by critics and public are well known now for their masterpieces, ranging from Von Gough to Beethoven, who were geniuses running far beyond public and critic contemporary, but were proved to be great master now. Compared to the continuous development of arts, people's views of arts seem to be short-dated.（发展不充分；主题的联系没有表现出来）

In sum, critic scould help to show the value of arts, yet couldn't be considered to be the principle or direction of art appreciation; (主宾不是一个范畴)sometimes it may even mislead the public and leave the most sophisticated values out. After all, artists are the real heroes to create valuable pieces and deserve to be remembered by people.
评价：思维：全面地，历史地，发展地，辩证地分析问题
      思路：论点，论据，论证
      结构：篇章结构，段落结构，句子结构
      语言：词法，句法，修辞

从思维上来说：艺术家与批评家，作者重心在后者。没有论述好他们的相互的关系，也没能体现出自己的超越话题的洞察，是一大憾事！分论点不能很好的支持总论点，分论点本身也没能是到很好的支持。逻辑推理的基本原理太欠缺了，比如问题是从定义出发的，首先应明白定义的内涵和外延方可使用。不全面，不历史，不发展，不辩证，思维不算成功。
从思路上来说：论点不新，太直白；论据不足，有的论据也没能很好的利用，有的论据不支持论点；论证自然不怎样了，因为逻辑不通。分论点不能支持总论点。而且分论点也太贬低批评家了，对他们数了一大推不足，难道他们真的是这样。很多哲学家，比如康德，黑格儿，马克思，艺术家比如克罗齐，丹纳，罗丹，本身也是批评家。他们真的这样不堪入目？这也是不历史的表现。
结构没什么特别，就不说有什么好的段内结构和句内结构了。
语言太平，句式太单调，词汇用法也不够好。语言素材的积累太少。建议去背点经典的素材，做点像新概念四的前面几课那种段落练习。
宏观把握好是写好的第一步，进阶的就靠结构和语言。
改得有点过分，不过我是从我的标准来的，尽管这个标准高得我自己也不能达到。请不要介意。

PassonChenUID: 2614331

记到改我的哟

xylibbyUID: 2432289

5# PassonChen
谢谢 修改得真仔细~

tracywlzUID: 2522388

格式：
红色------错误
绿色------我认为不妥
紫色------很好~
蓝色------总体感觉
TOPIC: ISSUE144 - "It is the artist, not the critic,* who gives society something of lasting value."

*a person who evaluates works of art, such as novels, films, music, paintings, etc.

Nowadays people tend to consider more about critic's opinions when appreciating pieces of arts, but does this mean critic gives the public valuable work of art? I strongly disagree with that. As far as I concerned, though critics could help the public to better understand the meaning of an art piece, it is the artist who creates the masterpiece.

We have to admit that critics have a strong influence on people's view about the art crafts. Most of the critics are equipped with certain knowledge and background, and are sensitive to the value of art pieces, which consequently enable them to provide the public some angle（angles） to appreciate the art pieces, and therefore discover something of lasting value.
貌似strong太多了。能否换下？
However, sometimes it is hard to ensure the reliability of the critics, since there are so many of them in a certain field. Perhaps most people will choose the most popular one.（感觉不怎么好，能否改成 perhaps the popularity of critics decides people’s choices. But how can we know the critic is well qualified for(by) his name? It is hard to say. 有些中国化英语 Meanwhile, the words of a critic could only reveal his own opinion, and might mislead the views of the public. Too many critical words might prevent deep consideration of the public, who might get used to depend on what critics' say, and forget to enjoy the craft in their own way. Worse still, public opinion influenced by critics may be the pressure to minorities with different ideas, and these minorities might doubt their own views, which finally cause the lose of many valuable opinions.

On the other hand, （on the one hand在哪里？）it is the artists who created something of lasting value, and critics sometimes even fail to act. The art works are something that can be shown in splendid colors and figures in paintings, be（可去？） read through lines, and be conducted by movement of symphonies. They serve as communication between the authors and visitors, readers and audiences, while no other（more） interpretation or introduction is needed. Before my roommates and I first saw the movie Mr. Butterfly, (before watching MB with my roommates ) we referred a movie commentary and compared the opinion of the critic with the movie; (看之前怎么知道？) finally we were quite disappointed as there was little accordance between the two. Several months later, forgetting（having forgotten） the comments, I decided to watch the movie again, and this time I was moved by the performance of the actors.

What's more, time is the only way to test the value of art works. Lots of artists did not well accepted by critics and public are well known for their masterpieces now, ranging from Von Gough to Beethoven, who were geniuses running far beyond public and critic contemporary, but were present proved to be great master . Compared to the continuous development of arts, people's views of arts seem to be short-dated.

In sum, critic could help to show the value of arts, yet couldn't be considered to be the principle or direction of art appreciation（critic 被认为principle? 最好改为criticism）; sometimes it may even mislead the public and leave the most sophisticated values out. After all, artists are the real heroes to create valuable pieces and deserve to be remembered by people.

总体感觉还不错，结构很好。但是在词语的使用上和多样化上希望多多下功夫。

ddcmj519UID: 176326

板凳围观。赞个~都好认真诶~~