大牛们帮我看看我的作文吧 谢谢

janusleUID: 2448655

我作文很糟糕 最近开始练 知道这个论坛大牛很多 帮我看看作文吧 帮我提一些修改意见 还有么 看看我大概能有几分。

题目
Pets should not be allowed in cities. Do you agree?

我的文章
In present-day society, there are growing pets in cities in China. But meanwhile, whether pets should be allowed in cities is an issue open to debate. Some assert that citizens should be banned from raising pets. Speaking for myself, I find this view ill-founded.                                                                                                   

It is evident that keeping pets bring numerous benefits to our lives. For one thing, pets can afford their masters consolation and comfort. To illustrate, children and old people often raise pets to help them get rid of loneliness. In the second place, taking care of a pet can help children develop a sense of responsibility and learn to care for others. In other word, pets can invite children to love and be loved.Last but not least,pets have some pratical uses such as a guardian,doorkeeper. Some pets even can guide the blind.

To be sure, pets carry potential drawbacks.They may cause disturbance and trouble to the neighbourhood such as biting ,barking, attack and damage.Having said this, however, taking some measures can avoid these problems. For instance, some pet shops render service to training pets for their masters.


Based on all the arguments offered above, I admit that rasing pets has some downsides. Nevertheless, their advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Therefore, I believe that we should encourage individuals to raise a pet but make them disciplined.

janusleUID: 2448655

自己顶

67169619UID: 2320695

做个assumption
：
我是一个考官
哇，一看这题目，老到不行了
再看你的文章，没有什么新意哇，啊好像和你还没有什么关系，给你打个6分吧

可，ielts的考官是很负责任d，还是认真给你评分。最后，看看当天的作文情况
给你一个平均分吧



;P呵呵，和某些考官交流过，发现很搞