5.6月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 lsr91的 第一次作业

lsr91UID：2540702

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is better to finish a project and then start another than to finish two projects at the same time. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.（06/24/07）7 d, v4 o. f) k! q, ?



My answer:
When I was young, my teachers and parents told me that to make sure I can finish everything completely, I should concentrate on it. So I prefer finish a project and then start another to finish two projects at the same time.

I don't think it is a good idea that working on two things at the same time. As we all know, students would be the busiest people on earth. They would have different kind of homework or even practice to do. If one of them do his/her English homework when he/she is having a maths class, could he receive what professor taught? Not really apparently.

Also, people's work would not be respected when they are doing two distinct things at one time. In my country, there is a bad custom that in some small companies, employees would do something personal or not limited to their primary job. When they do these works, they could not focus on what they should do. On the other hand, their bosses wouldn't like to see their bad work cause of their employee's bad moving.

The argument I support in first paragraph is also in a position of advantage because actually do different things at the same time is actually impossible even scientists. For example, when Marie Curie is researching uranium, she and her husband didn't work anything only chemical experimentation. The key to her achievement is concentration.

In one word, success could get only if you are really focus on it. So, it is sagacious to support the statement that it is better to
finish a project and then start another than to finish two projects at the same time.




没思路啊~要死~

melody106UID：2559573

When I was young, my teachers and parents told me that to make sure I can finish everything completely, I should concentrate on it.(concentrate one thing at one time) So I prefer finish(finishing) a project and then start another to finish(finishing) two projects at the same time.

I don't think it is a good idea that working on two things at the same time. (应在段首表明此段的中心意思，这句话只是又强调了全文的态度而已)As we all know, students would be the busiest people on earth. They would have different kind of homework or even practice(practice 和homework并非递进关系，当然用点递进挺好的，不过要用对地方啊) to do. If one of them do his/her English homework when he/she is having a maths class, could he receive what professor taught? Not really apparently.

Also, people's work would not be respected when they are doing two distinct things at one time.（people who process his personal problems during work time will not be respected 这样改会好一点） In my country, there is a bad custom that in some small companies, employees would do something personal or not limited to their primary job. When they do these works, they could not focus on what they should do. On the other hand, their bosses wouldn't like to see their bad work cause of their employee's bad moving. (it’s hard to understand.)

The argument I support in first paragraph is also in a position of advantage （hard to understand）because actually do different things at the same time is actually impossible even scientists. For example, when Marie Curie is researching uranium, she and her husband didn't work anything only chemical experimentation. The key to her achievement is concentration.

In one word, success could get（success can be attained） only if you (假设的主语最好为people 或者we，这样更有说服力)are really focus(fucus是动词，前面不能加are) on it. So, it is sagacious to support the statement that it is better to finish a project and then start another than to finish two projects at the same time.
看的出来你完成的比较匆忙，刚开始以写好为主，句型写顺了、资料积累多了再掐时间吧。多看看例文。觉得你有些表达比较think in Chinese.
加油加油！:)

rong0816UID：2612194

My answer(essay):
When I was young, my teachers and parents told me that to make sure (that) I can finish everything completely(completely不好，难道同时完成两件事就不能everything completely吗？我想了好久都想不出个词), I should concentrate on it.（整个句子看起来不顺，这样说：When I was young,my teachers and my mothers told me:"If you want to finish a certain thing better,you must concentrate on it."）(这里加点什么，比如I found they're right after several years' experience,不会因为老师和父母说，就决定自己的观点吧)So I prefer finish a project and then start another to finish two projects at the same time.

I don't think it is a good idea that working on（错了，work on 是起作用的意思。改成I don't...idea to work two...） two things at the same time. As we all know, students would be the busiest people on earth. They would have different kind of homework or even practice to do. If one of them do his/her English homework when he/she is having a maths class, could he receive what professor taught(professors teach/professor teaches前后时态不一致)? Not really apparently.

Also, people's work would not be respected when they are doing two distinct things at one time. In my country, there is a bad custom that in some small companies, employees would do something personal or not limited to their primary job（personal something which are limited to their primary job）. When they do these works, they could not focus on what they should do. On the other hand, their bosses wouldn't like to see their bad work cause of their employee's bad moving.

The argument I support in first paragraph is also in a position of advantage because actually do different things at the same time is actually impossible even scientists.（这句话看的怪怪的，意思是懂了，但不够简练。我觉得这样说：What's more,doing different things at the same time is impossible even scientists.） For example, when Marie Curie is researching uranium, she and her husband didn't work anything only chemical experimentation. The key to her achievement is concentration. (这个例子很好)1 |2 i1 z2 K2 S& f

In one word, success could get only if you are really focus on it. So, it is sagacious to support the statement that it is better to finish a project and then start another than to finish two projects at the same time.

其实是有思路的，就是专注的做一件事可以把事情做的更好。这是个很好的思路，但你有点写偏了。居里夫人的例子不错，国内公司的例子就不好。试着举个自己的经验，这样可以使文章更有说服力。
Ps. 第一次拍文，具体的地方没能改的很详细，只能从整体上看，以后慢慢提高自己改作文的能力