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[活动] ]【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组HYPS2011第二十四次作业】 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-4-24 20:10:14 |显示全部楼层

As every single man in the world, Friendship is imperative along the life journey.with friends we can enjoy pain and happiness together ,sometimes friend is the solid supporter when we face choices.as a notable adage goes “a friend in need is a friend indeed”.everyone must spare no efforts to avoid friends involved in mistakes.


Foremost, A truly friend results in understanding,mutual respect and honesty. It is the time that virtually develops friendship. understanding is the basic prerequisite for any relationship to be built,as a companion ,needs to care each other.however ,when referring to some privacy issues ,everyone wants to be respected.moreover a long friendship should be run under honesty.In daily life, It seem as if we easier to involve ourselves into argument,particularly evident beween friends bcause we are together most of the time. But trivial quarrels will undoubtly tighten both paties. Thus ,Trying our best to keep friends away from mistakes even if such words or behavior may destroy the friendship.because no doubt ,a truly friendship can undergo those ephemeral hardships and subsequently be strengthened.

Furthermore, people are usually defrauded by some superficial appearances,especially a large fortune,and then lose his way . Due to previous factors, friend is trustful that we can depend upon.In such cases, The responsibility of a friend is uncovering the false to let his friend clear about the truth.but in other words, Lookers-on see more than players.when someone indulged in certain things,he/she cannot notice the exact situations.since ,friend is the best choice to encourage he/she comes back.Take my neighbor’s child for example. During his primary school period he became addicted in electronic games that you could fund him palying almost in all his leasisue time.after several months ,he began to skip classes and even stolen parent’s money.but according to his friends continuous and patient help .This mistake casted a new light on his life.from then on,he studied hard and finally went to a famous university this year.without friends efforts how can he achieve such a great change in life.

From listed above. please cherish your friendship though a truly friend is hard to meet.and keep in mind that Letting a friend don’t make a mistake whether such behavior may destroy the friendship or not .a friend in need is a friend indeed .



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发表于 2009-4-27 20:55:34 |显示全部楼层
As every single man in the world(只说man会不会不太好啊 直接用person吧), Friendship is imperative along the life journey.with friends we can enjoy pain and happiness together ,sometimes(删去 难道不是sometimes的时候朋友就不支持你了么) friend is the solid supporter when we face choices.as a notable adage goes “a friend in need is a friend indeed”.everyone must spare no efforts to avoid(avoid后要接动名词的) friends involved in mistakes.

Foremost, A truly friend results in understanding,mutual respect and honesty. It is the time that virtually develops friendship. understanding is the basic prerequisite for any relationship to be built,as a companion ,needs to care each other.however ,when referring to some privacy issues ,everyone wants to be respected.moreover a long friendship should be run under honesty.(以上的一大段都和题目不怎么相关啊)In daily life, It seem as if we easier to involve ourselves into argument,particularly evident beween friends bcause we are together most of the time. But trivial quarrels will undoubtly tighten both paties. Thus ,Trying our best to keep friends away from mistakes even if such words or behavior may destroy the friendship(句子结构不完整).because no doubt ,a truly friendship can undergo those ephemeral hardships and subsequently be strengthened.(语法问题很多啊 我标出来了)

Furthermore, people are usually defrauded by some superficial appearances,especially a large fortune,and then lose his way . Due to previous factors, friend is trustful that we can depend upon.In such cases, The responsibility of a friend is uncovering the false to let his friend clear about the truth.but(这个转折没必要) in other words, Lookers-on see more than players.when someone indulged in certain things,he/she cannot notice the exact situations.since (since用在这不对),friend is the best choice to encourage he/she comes back.Take my neighbor’s child for example. During his primary school period he became addicted in electronic games that you could fund him palying almost in all his leasisue time.after several months ,he began to skip classes and even stolen parent’s money.but according to (because of 吧)his friends continuous and patient help(句子结构有问题) .This mistake casted a new light on (这个短语的意思LZ弄错了吧)his life.from then on,he studied hard and finally went to a famous university this year.without friends efforts how can he achieve such a great change in life.

From listed above. please cherish your friendship though a truly friend is hard to meet(和题目无关).and keep in mind that Letting a friend don’t make a mistake whether such behavior may destroy the friendship or not .a friend in need is a friend indeed .
标点和首字母的大小写问题 谓语单复数要注意 很多句子的结构都不是很完整 加油

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RE: ]【Dark_Tournament TOEFL-ibt作文小组HYPS2011第二十四次作业】 [修改]

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