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[活动] tofel2009_cracking ibt essay写作组_wangxinfei_第三次作业 [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-4-25 21:54:55 |只看该作者 |倒序浏览
本帖最后由 wangxinfei 于 2009-4-26 09:40 编辑

Friends are the most precious gifts of our live that we need to cherish. The friendship between each other is pure and brings happiness and good time to all of us ,but also the friendship needs us to carefully foster and protect,because we can’t always in a smooth condition of affairs,so when we see our friends in trouble and going to make mistakes , we must come out and help them pass the hard times, that’s the only right thing we must do, I think.

friendship is built with and based on the trust, we are someone’s frends as we are,so we take the responsibility of giving a right direction to friends who are lost it. For examples, when one of your friends insists on wasting time on a boring and wrong thing that may brings him or she big hurt,and if you choose to do nothing on this occasion, that means you haven’t assumed the responsibility as a good friend should do, or saying that you failed to be his or her friend.

Maybe we are in a worry of losing friends if we give the advice that it’s right. to friends. yes, it maybe takes a lot of cost to persuade friends in a mess jam,but if we don’t do these efforts to take them in the right way, we will lose the truly friendship. If we stand out of the conditions, not to stop friends making mistkes ,we also make the mistakes, we will begin to lose trsut of`friendship,and also we will begin to lose friendship.

So,all in concluding,we must stand on our point as a friend,to help friends as we can is the only right way to do to preserve the friendship,and if we choose to stand outside of friends’ futures, we’ll get ourself in a wrong way of losing friendship,actually,to see a friend hurt himself is a harm thing to both.
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发表于 2009-4-27 09:53:16 |只看该作者
Friends are the most precious gifts of our live that we need to cherish. The friendship between each other is pure and brings happiness and good time to all of us ,but also the friendship needs us to carefully foster and protect,because we can’t always in a smooth condition of affairs,so when we see our friends in trouble and going to make mistakes , we must come out and help them pass the hard times, that’s the only right thing we must do, I think.

friendship(Friendship) is built with and based on the trust, we are someone’s frends(friends) as we are,so we take the responsibility of giving a right direction to friends who are lost it. For examples(example), when one of your friends insists on wasting time on a boring and wrong thing that may brings him or she big hurt,(我不知道用big形容hurt对不对,觉得有点别扭)and if you choose to do nothing on this occasion, that means you haven’t assumed(应该用take吧) the responsibility as a good friend should do, or saying that you failed to be his or her friend.

Maybe we are in a worry of losing friends if we give the advice that it’s right. (去掉句号)to friends. yes(Yes), it maybe takes a lot of cost to persuade friends in a mess jam,but if we don’t do these efforts to take them in the right way, we will lose the truly friendship. If we stand out of the conditions, not to stop friends making mistkes ,we also make the mistakes, we will begin to lose trsut of`friendship,and also we will begin to lose friendship. (感觉有点啰嗦应该直接用个例子说明吧)

So,all in concluding,we must stand on our point as a friend,to help friends as we can is the only right way to do to preserve the friendship,and if we choose to stand outside of friends’ futures, we’ll get ourself in a wrong way of losing friendship,actually,to see a friend hurt himself is a harm thing to both.

楼主我的语法很差,所以不能给你看语法上错误了实在很抱歉。在内容上, 我感觉有点欠缺说服力,应该多注意例子的运用,观点应该鲜明,提出后能够展开论述然后用例子论证。

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