steven的作文 恳请大家批改

grit.kUID: 2541151

As for elderly, living in caring house is better than living at home with young children. Present your argument to illustrate whether you agree or disagree.

A society could not run well without the co-operation of populations of various ages. The elderly demonstrate their value in offering us profitable experience of coping with troubles. If they are sent to a caring house, scrapped the freedom of daily communication with young, it would cause a great lost to society.

The departure of old people from their families is harmful in accelerating social alienation. We humans enjoy more convenience lives, but at the expense of the intimacy and pleasure of living with family members. The elderly is supposed to having time with families together after retiring. However, it is a pity that people now bury themselves in work rather than spending enough time with the elderly and sharing their loneliness. This would inevitable contributes to a more selfish and alienating society.

In fact, the contributions to society elderly make are neglected by us in both working and living respects. When people are learning more from history books, they gradually forget to inquire knowledge from the old people. Without any cover, the elders are willing to share their valuable experience with others, which is beneficial in addressing similar problems. Besides, they can look after children, which may to some degree solve release the pressure of young who does not have enough time. It is important for a child to grow up in an atmosphere full of warmth of caring.

Hoping it is not too late to take measures avoiding the increasing gap between the young and the old. To build up a better society, living with and paying enough attention to the elderly should be a responsibility for the young now.

grit.kUID: 2541151

自己顶下

grit.kUID: 2541151

呵呵 客气了 viecentpan改的即是
受益匪浅

grit.kUID: 2541151

不敢不敢 你改的很好 那个function well 比我的run well 准确多了
相比之下我还是要多学习

饱饭仔UID: 2505959

说的这么详细...
好吧,比我勤劳多了,哈哈
写作本来就是多交流的

第二段的理由是不是有点唐突,送老人去养老院之类的跟人们变得越来越自私有关系么...这个..很牵强啊
第三段后面写的比较入理,下一代需要一个温暖的环境,至于之前那个传承文化跟咨询老人...这个又有点勉强哈
不要把理由想的那么大,就很简单,能说服别人就行了,并不一定需要别出心裁
all in all, it's my perspective.

grit.kUID: 2541151

7# 饱饭仔
恩 版主说的一语中的 谢谢