0910G[North America Flying] Issue13 by fake2009

fake2009UID: 2631119

题目：ISSUE13 - "Many of the world's lesser-known languages are being lost as fewer and fewer people speak them. The governments of countries in which these languages are spoken should act to prevent such languages from becoming extinct."
字数：400
用时：00:41:14
日期：2009-6-2 14:59:24

          A variety of dialects exist in my country which is an interesting cultural phenomenon. As the process of urbanization, more and more people tend to avoid speaking local dialect. This situation parallels with the truth that a lot of lesser-known languages are being lost firstly addressed in the topic.
         
          To seek the reason of what is happening, it's impossible to neglect the function of language. As far as I am concerned, language serves a purpose of communication. Many scholars once tried to work out a definition of language, among which my favorite is the one raised by Walt Whitman in his book The American Slang, paraphrased by me as, language is not something belongs to the learned, or of the dictionary-maker, but is something arising out of the needs, joys, affections, of long generations of humanity. So WW's viewpoint reveals that to express the feelings originating from needs, joys etc., it is the language that achieve the goal perfectly. Once the language cannot work as a tool for communication, fewer and fewer people will use it, the extinction is doomed.

          Can measures taken by government efficiently prevent such languages from becoming extinct? It deserves our attention and exploration. Languages is something used by everyone besides those physically challenged people who can achieve by means of writing, rather than speaking. It's nearly impossible to command one to speak A language instead of B language. One might mention QinShihuang in Chinese history who established a united China and set up a specific language. He is so successful at the push of using one language, which is epoch-making, why can't we take measures to preserve a dying language? Consider the social background and the historical condition of that time. That is an autocratic reign in which the emperor rules. People in that social context is not fully-civilized, they know little even nothing about democracy compared with current social citizens.

          What's more, it's correct or not if we offer some interference to the circle of language evolution? The production and extniction of language can be simply a natural cultural process. Things works well if there's one language which serves efficiently the purpose of communication. As an old one dies, a new one is born. Admittedly, the language itself is a precious human legacy, measures should be taken to preserve it. However, it's not simply the action of snapping the fingers.

fake2009UID: 2631119

看了别家写的好多好长好长的文章……压力……
这篇限时写的…所以…感觉好简陋的样子~大家帮帮忙给改改哈

lzsileUID: 2547521

占楼。。。

haunteagleUID: 2609432

A variety of dialects exist in my country which is an interesting cultural phenomenon. As the process of urbanization, more and more people tend to avoid speaking local dialect. This situation parallels with the truth that a lot of lesser-known languages are being lost firstly addressed in the topic.
         
To seek the reason of what is happening, it's impossible to neglect the function of language.(观点不够鲜明) As far as I am concerned, language serves a purpose of communication. Many scholars once tried to work out a definition of language, among which my favorite is the one raised by Walt Whitman in his book The American Slang, paraphrased by me as, language is not something belongs to the learned, or of the dictionary-maker, but is something arising out of the needs, joys, affections, of long generations of humanity. So WW's viewpoint reveals that to express the feelings originating from needs, joys etc. it is the language that achieve the goal perfectly. Once the language cannot work as a tool for communication, fewer and fewer people will use it, the extinction is doomed. (感觉这段非常像一般英语文章开头的definition段落，但是相比后面的内容显得非常空洞，主要是没有彻底地阐明自己的观点)

Can measures taken by government efficiently prevent such languages from becoming extinct?(我觉得是digreesion了，topic用的是should do something，从efficiency推我觉得是离题了) It deserves our attention and exploration.(提出问题应该鲜明表明观点，这句话太晦涩了) Languages is something used by everyone besides those physically challenged people who can achieve by means of writing, rather than speaking. It's nearly impossible to command one to speak A language instead of B language. One might mention QinShihuang in Chinese history who established a united China and set up a specific language. He is so successful at the push of using one language, which is epoch-making, why can't we take measures to preserve a dying language? Consider the social background and the historical condition of that time.(No answer directly) That is an autocratic reign in which the emperor rules. People in that social context is not fully-civilized, they know little even nothing about democracy compared with current social citizens.

What's more, it's correct or not if we offer some interference to the circle of language evolution? (疑问句开头仍然没有点名观点)The production and extniction of language can be simply a natural cultural process. Things works well if there's one language which serves efficiently the purpose of communication. As an old one dies, a new one is born. Admittedly, the language itself is a precious human legacy, measures should be taken to preserve it. However, it's not simply the action of snapping the fingers.(主题句是找到了，但是跟全文内容完全不合拍，没有一个分段落能够很鲜明地支持这个中心)

文章读了三遍，优缺点分列如下
merits:
1.句式有一定变化，表意都比较清晰
2.语法错误很少，至少我没找到
drawbacks:
1.文章中心不明，仅在文末有提及
2.分段落表意不明，更多的是用描绘一些没有立场区分的事实暗示文章的结论
3.句间逻辑链跳跃比较大

言多有失，勿怪，建议从点明中心入手，另外，现在就限时是否稍早？

fake2009UID: 2631119

研读ha的习作之后，再读读ha给的修改意见，难免有醍醐灌顶之感
改动挺大的……观点比先前的更明确了一点，结构清楚了一点，满足了满足了！
跪谢ha给的enlightment！！

The speaker asserts that owning to the decrease of the number of people who speaks the lesser-known language, the consequence is the disappearance of these languages, and accordingly, the governments involved in this case should take possible measures to prevent the language from extinction. I strongly agree with the governmental proposal to save those dying language, for I deeply acknowledge its unique value lies in the continuation and multiplication of a tribe of group, as well as being a kind of intellectual heritage. However, to solve this problem, nowadays the governmental advocacy should reach a balance between the use of national standard language and the lesser-known provincial dialects.

A language, no matter how well or poor known, it’s of crucial value to serve a purpose of communication as well as the passing-over of the message between generations, and the value being a kind of intellectual heritage.

Consider first a quotation from Walt Whitman, paraphrased by me as, language is something arising out of the needs, joy, affections, of long generations of humanity; it’s from a wide and broad basis. We can safely reach a conclusion that language is closely related with the ordinary human life, involving in every conceivable aspects of life, which shows exactly the region’s overall conditions, lying in nature, politics, and economy. As the language lives generation after generation, so does the regional history and culture.

For instance, the language of Eskimos consists of a very limited vocabulary compared with the well-known language, say English, French, Chinese, which contains the largest number of words and phrases, that expressing the meaning of white and snow. Concerning the living conditions of their habitats, under a freezing temperature and covered with icy snow, it’s necessary for them to have that many ways to cohabitate smoothly and communicate freely.

Just image what’s the consequence, if Eskimos can’t express words concerning white and snow, they may not successfully survive in such a severely hash living environment. It’s an excellent example that illustrates the language serves perfectly for communication and, more importantly, is an embodiment of regional conventions through generations.

On the other hand, after hundreds of thousands of years, a language has been experiencing its breed, growth, prosperity. It will be a tremendous loss if we throw it into its decline period without doing anything. If nothing is done to prevent it from this process, the newly born generation will never be informed the ever existence of this profound mystery of human intellectual assets, therefore, it obscures the understanding of the traditional outlook conveying by their ancestors.

As far as I am concerned, the government involving in this language extinction case should do something to preserve the language, to be more precisely, to keep a balance in the advocacy between the wide used national standard language and the by-exist distinguishable dialects.

One example is worth being mentioned is the case of First Emperor of Qin in Chinese history who established a united China and was so successful in pushing the revolution of language, which is epoch-making. He proposed the unification of language, and at the same time, was tolerant with the existence of the rich and varied dialects, contributing to the prosperity of literature provincialism, which results in the large number of valuable pieces of local color afterwards. At the same time, he didn’t neglect the unification of language by taking some cruel and severe measures, forgivable in that not fully-civilized historical context. The unification of language made both the practice of government order and the communication of culture easier and clearer.

Accordingly, the government should act to preserve the withering-away language concerning its value as basically a communication tool, and as a valuable intellectual heritage, which keeps the continuation and multiplication of a tribe or group. What’s more, worth being kept in mind, the government should keep a balance in the advocacy of using language between the national standard language which facilitates the development of a nation, and also the dialects which contributes to the provincial culture.

依清影UID: 2635532

顶下~

monkeybiaoUID: 2527713

不佩服不行.大组长多照顾我们啊。