Argument173 @@A DREAM @@小组第1次作业 bynicoleq(廿廿)

nicoleqUID: 2626973

真惭愧~迟到了~

In this argument, the arguer concludes that we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers. To substantiate this claim, the arguer provides the evidence that the magazine issues which featured international stories on their front covers are poorest selling over the past three years, and that the competing newsmagazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news over the same period. At first glance, the argument might be somehow reasonable, but close scrutiny reveal that this argument is unconvincing.

In the first place, this arguer provides no assurances that the correlation between quantities sold of the magazine issues and featuring international news stories on their covers. Maybe, many other relevant factors—the price, the wording of the headlines, the cover design, the content of the and quality of the inside articles, etc.—witch many account for the poor selling of the magazine issues which featured international stories on their front covers. Besides, the size is one the important factor, research showed that women like the small magazines because of this magazines can put into the handbag while men more favor the magazines which more big and weightily. Especially, no man in of the globized economy can be full immune to the financial meltdown if the magazines which featured international news stories on covers issue between the financial meltdown, it is normal for the poor selling record of the magazine issues. Without ruling out such possibilities, I cannot accept the arguer’s point of we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers.

In the second place, even assuming that that featured international news stories on front cover causing poor selling of the kind magazines, the arguer fails to see the possibility that the magazine issues with special covers might attract many new readers while their rivals stop doing so. For the matter, we should not decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers.

In the third place, even I concede that the competing newsmagazines which devote their covers to international stories have decreased obviously is attribute to arguer’s conclusion. What further weakens the argument is the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. We should make out distinctive content about the international news while the cost of it is increasing, or else, it is waste of fund and manpower. Thus, I cannot accept the arguer’ conclusion.

Last but least, the arguer fails to provide any information concerning the tastes of readers; the environmental conditions of the magazine shop; the size and the weight of the magazines if alternate or not. If the arguer cannot rule out such factors, it is not fairly claim that we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers.

optionhjUID: 2639105

In this argument, the arguer concludes that we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers. To substantiate this claim, the arguer provides the evidence that the magazine issues which featured international stories on their front covers are poorest selling (issues are poorest selling?)over the past three years, and that (去掉)the competing news magazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news over the same period. At first glance, the argument might be somehow reasonable, but close scrutiny reveal that this argument is unconvincing.
In the first place, this arguer provides no assurances that the correlation between quantities sold of the magazine issues and featuring
international news stories on their covers. Maybe, many other relevant factors—the price, the wording of the headlines, the cover design, the content of the and quality of the inside articles, etc.—witch many account for the poor selling of the magazine issues which featured international stories on their front covers. Besides, the size is one the important factor, research showed that women like the small magazines because of this magazines can put into the handbag while men more favor the magazines which more big and weightily. Especially, no man in of the globized economy can be full immune to the financial meltdown if the magazines which featured international news stories on covers issue between the financial meltdown, it is normal for the poor selling record of the magazine issues. Without ruling out such possibilities, I cannot accept the arguer’s point of we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers.
In the second place, even assuming that that featured international news stories on front cover causing poor selling of the kind magazines, the arguer fails to see the possibility that the magazine issues with special covers might attract many new readers while their rivals stop doing so. For the matter, we should not decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers.（没有展开分析观点）
In the third place, even I concede that the competing newsmagazines which devote their covers to international stories have decreased obviously is attribute to arguer’s conclusion. What further weakens the argument is the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. We should make out distinctive content about the international news while the cost of it is increasing, or else, it is waste of fund and manpower. Thus, I cannot accept the arguer’ conclusion.
Last but least, the arguer fails to provide any information concerning the tastes of readers; the environmental conditions of the magazine shop（有点牵强）; the size and the weight of the magazines if alternate or not.（表达有点问题） If the arguer cannot rule out such factors, it is not fairly claim that we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers.
1.基本的逻辑错误，论据错误都找到了。
2.在某些语言表达上有问题，已经标注出来。
3，结构还不错，连接词用的还不错。
总的来说，语言，语法还需加强。
继续加油吧！！！

nicoleqUID: 2626973

修改后“：
In this argument, the arguer concludes that we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers. To substantiate this claim, the arguer provides the evidence that the magazine issues which featured international stories on their front covers are poorest selling over the past three years, and that the competing newsmagazines have significantly decreased the number of cover stories that they devote to international news over the same period. At first glance, the argument might be somehow reasonable, but close scrutiny reveal that this argument is unconvincing.

In the first place, this arguer provides no assurances that the correlation between quantities sold of the magazine issues and featuring international news stories on their covers. Maybe, many other relevant factors—the price, the wording of the headlines, the cover design, the content of the and quality of the inside articles, etc.—witch many account for the poor selling of the magazine issues which featured international stories on their front covers. Besides, the size is one the important factor, research showed that women like the small magazines because of this magazines can put into the handbag while men more favor the magazines which more big and weightily. Especially, no man in of the globized economy can be full immune to the financial meltdown if the magazines which featured international news stories on covers issue between the financial meltdown, it is normal for the poor selling record of the magazine issues. Without ruling out such possibilities, I cannot accept the arguer’s point of we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers.

In the second place, even assuming that that featured international news stories on front cover causing poor selling of the kind magazines, the arguer fails to see the possibility that the magazine issues with special covers might attract many new readers while their rivals stop doing so. For the matter, we should not decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers.

In the third place, even I concede that the competing newsmagazines which devote their covers to international stories have decreased obviously is attribute to arguer’s conclusion. What further weakens the argument is the cost of maintaining our foreign bureaus to report on international news is increasing. We should make out distinctive content about the international news while the cost of it is increasing, or else, it is waste of fund and manpower. Thus, I cannot accept the arguer’ conclusion.

Last but not least, the arguer fails to provide any information concerning the tastes of readers; the environmental conditions of the magazine shop; the size and the weight of the magazines if alternate or not. If the arguer cannot rule out such factors, it is not fairly claim that we should decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers.

To sum up, the arguer’s conclusion about decrease our emphasis on international news and refrain from displaying international stories on our magazine front covers is not well supported as it stands. To bolster it, the arguer must provide more evidence. To better assess the problem, I would also need to know how the whole market of magazine is.