ARGUMENT207 =August Rush=小组第1次作业 by KevinSpacey

KevinSpaceyUID: 2645771

Argument 207. It is known that in recent years, industrial pollution has caused the Earth's ozone layer to thin, allowing an increase in the amount of ultraviolet radiation that reaches the Earth's surface. At the same time, scientists have discovered, the population of a species of salamander that lays its eggs in mountain lakes has declined. Since ultraviolet radiation is known to be damaging to delicate tissues and since salamander eggs have no protective shells, it must be the case that the increase in ultraviolet radiation has damaged many salamander eggs and prevented them from hatching. This process will no doubt cause population declines in other species, just as it has in the salamander species. 我们知道近年来工业污染导致地球臭氧层变薄，使到达地球表面的紫外线辐射增加。同时，学者发现在山区湖泊产卵的某种蜥蜴的数量下降了。由于紫外线辐射能够破坏脆弱的组织并且蜥蜴的卵没有保护壳，因此一定是紫外线辐射的增加破坏了很多蜥蜴的卵并阻止它们孵化。这一过程无疑也会导致其他物种数量的下降，就像发生在这种蜥蜴身上的一样。

KevinSpaceyUID: 2645771

Argument 207
“It is known that in recent years, industrial pollution has caused the Earth's ozone layer to thin, allowing an increase in the amount of ultraviolet radiation that reaches the Earth's surface. At the same time, scientists have discovered, the population of a species of salamander that lays its eggs in mountain lakes has declined. Since ultraviolet radiation is known to be damaging to delicate tissues and since salamander eggs have no protective shells, it must be the case that the increase in ultraviolet radiation has damaged many salamander eggs and prevented them from hatching. This process will no doubt cause population declines in other species, just as it has in the salamander species.”
WORDS: 473          TIME: 03:XX:XX          DATE: 2009/6/14 22:XX

The argument above presents a sound case for arguing that the increase in ultraviolet radiation will cause population declines in many species. This conclusion is not thoroughly well-reasoned because it contains several aspects questionable. First, the author fails to examine alternative explanations why the population of salamander species declines. The argument also fails to consider the variety of different species.

First of all, the population declines in salamander species which lays eggs in mountain lakes may not been damaged by the ultraviolet radiation. The author is failing to consider other alternatives to the decrease of the population of salamander species. Such alternatives may include the fact that the wild trips have become popular among tourist in recent years. Thus more and more people choose to go to mountain lakes on their holiday. Human beings' activities may have a negative impact on the salamander species. For example, the rubbishes which are left by the tourists may pollute the water and land of mountain lakes, hence the pollution could cause the eggs deteriorate; people may also smash the eggs by their feet. It is possible that the climate of the mountains may have changed a lot in recent years. The incubation of eggs needs a specific temperature. If the temperature of the mountain lakes is highly above the average level for a long time, the rate of the successful incubation would have decreased, which make the population of salamander declines.

Secondly, the author’s assumption, that the phenomenon that the decrease in the salamander species population caused by the increase in ultraviolet radiation will wide spread to other species, is suspect. Even if the increase in ultraviolet radiation is verified to be the real reason which cause salamander species’ population decline, to generalize it to all other species, being blind to the differences between them, is not well-persuasive. There are millions kinds of species among what salamander species is just one. The other species could have various features and attributes which are far different from the salamander species. For example, birds' eggs have protective shells while salamanders' doesn't, mammals do not lay eggs while salamanders do. One could not generalize the reason why salamander species population declines to other species. Even for the species whose features are almost the same as the salamander species, we could not say that these species will have the same phenomenon as salamander, like the decline of the population, because they may have different living environment, for example, salamander live at mountain lakes but another kind of lizards may live at desert.

To make this argument more persuasive, the author should find out the exact reason why the population of the salamander species decreases, prove that it is indeed caused by the increase in ultraviolet radiation, and make the readers believe that the damage of ultraviolet radiation would influence other species.

echodingdinghUID: 2632612

The argument above presents a sound casefor arguing that the increase in ultraviolet radiation will cause populationdeclines in many species. (我觉得对原文的复述是不是可以在详细点:)This conclusion is not thoroughlywell-reasoned because it contains several aspects questionable. First, theauthor fails to examine alternative explanations why the population ofsalamander species(这里没有搞懂,好像是a species of salamander,所以至少应该是the salamanderspecies吧?) declines. The argument also fails to consider the variety ofdifferent species.

First of all, the population declines in salamander species which lays eggs inmountain lakes may not been damaged by the ultraviolet radiation. The author isfailing to consider other alternatives(最近在某篇范文里看到这个词,觉得很好噢!) to the decrease of the populationof salamander species. Such alternatives may include the fact that the wildtrips(质疑一下这里需要用复数吗?) have become popular among touristsin recent years. Thus more and more people choose to go to mountain lakes ontheir holidays. Human beings' activities mayhave a negative impact on the salamander species. For example, the rubbishes(rubbish是没有复数的) which are left by thetourists may pollute the water and land of mountain lakes(mountain lakes就是说得是山上的湖泊吧,感觉不应该有water和land of mountain lakes这种说法), hence the pollutioncould cause the eggs (to)deteriorate; people mayalso smash the eggs by their feet. It is possible that the climate of themountains may have changed a sot in recent years. The incubation of eggs needsa specific temperature. If the temperature of the mountain lakes is highlyabove the average level for a long time, the rate of the successful incubationwould have decreased, which makes the populationof salamander declines(make后面跟do).

Secondly, the author’s assumption, that the phenomenon that (感觉这里用which更好,前面已经有一个that了,读起来怪怪的)the decrease in thesalamander species population caused by the increase in ultraviolet radiationwill widely spread to other species, is suspect.Even if the increase in ultraviolet radiation is verified to be the real reasonwhich cause salamander species’ population (to)decline,to generalize it to all other species, being blind to the differences between(between是用于两者间的,应该改成among吧) them, is notwell-persuasive(不知道可不可以这样用,如果是我会说is not that persuasive,如果有这种用法请告诉我噢!). There are millions (millions of一定要一起用的)kinds of species amongwhat(what应该换成which吧) salamander species isjust one. (这句整体感觉不地道,有点不像平时看到的英语)The other species couldhave various features and attributes which are far different from thesalamander species. For example, birds' eggs have protective shells whilesalamanders' doesn't, mammals do not lay eggs while salamanders do. One couldnot generalize the reason why salamander species population declines to otherspecies(有generalize a to b 的这种用法吗,不是纠错是请教哈:). Even for the species whosefeatures are almost the same as the salamander species, we could not say thatthese species will have the same phenomenon as salamander, like the decline ofthe population, because they may have different living environment, for example,salamander(salamander是a kind of lizards吗,这里是说的a kind of salamander吧?我不是很确定哈,跟你理解的不一样) live at mountain lakesbut another kind of lizards may live at desert.

To make this argument more persuasive, the author should find out the exactreason why the population of the salamander species decreases, prove that it isindeed caused by the increase in ultraviolet radiation, and make the readersbelieve that the damage of ultraviolet radiation would influence other species.
1.整体感觉不错,向范文学习的态度值得我学习!
2.整个安排上感觉中间的body部分是不是少了点内容,我是指只分两端论证是不是少了点?
3.其他的没有看出太大的问题.

改得不合适的地方希望大家一起讨论噢!