[6,7月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 FFtserAph的 第18次作业]

FFtserAphUID: 2641938

第十八次作业
下周日（6月20日）晚22：00交
One argument states that higher education should be open to everyone, regardless of background. The opposing argument says that only the elite students should be allowed to proceed. Discuss these ideas. Do you agree or disagree? Explain why.

字数统计：363

During our life, so many problems are worth considering carefully. As what has been come up with, recently the issue has been brought into focus that higher education should be open to everyone regardless of background. Some hold the view that the announcement is true,while that others believe that it is not. With all aspects carefully considered, I think the higher education should only be open to the elite students.

Firstly, the education resource is quite rarity considering the huge number of population. China is a developing country, although government has tried their best to invest as much money as possible to high education, it could not satisfy every high school students’ dream to attend university to accept higher education. This is also the reason why competition is so crucial in the College Entrance Examination in China.

In addition, if higher education is available to everyone without examining their background, it is not fair to the elite students. Attending an ideal university is the dream of many high school students, due to this, many of them working hard in order to achieve their goal, while others spend their time on playing around or hanging out with friends. Just assume that if those two kinds of students resulting in attending the same university, how unfair it is to the hardworking students.

Finally, opening university to everyone may have bad effects to the university’s normal operation. I think the school officers or supervisors can not agree more about this. One of the main tasks of school officers or supervisors is the student administration. It is shown that this has a great connection with the students’ qualities, the better the students’ quality, the easier to administrate them. For this reason, it is not hard to image that if all kinds of students are admitted into university, what a mess it could bring to its normal operation.

Accordingly, I do not agree to open universities to all students with all kinds of background for the reasons mentioned above. If the students with bad performance in high school really want to accept higher education, they should go back into high school to study harder for another year.

goback211UID: 2419259

During our life, so many problems are worth considering carefully. As what has been come up with, recently the issue has been brought into focus that higher education should be open to everyone regardless of background. Some hold the view that the announcement is true,while that others believe that it is not. With all aspects carefully considered, I think the higher education should only be open to the elite students.
Firstly, the education resource is quite rarity(rare) considering the huge number of population. China is a developing country,although government has tried their best to invest as much money as possible to high education, it could not satisfy every high school students’ dream toattend university to accept higher education. This is also the reason why competitionis (are) so crucial in the College Entrance Examination in China.
In addition, if higher education is available to everyone without examining their background, it is not fair to the elite students. Attending an ideal university is the dream of many high school students, . Due to this, many of them worked hard in order to achieve theirgoal, while others spend their time on playing around or hanging out withfriends. Just assume that if those two kinds of students result in attendingthe same university, it is quite unfair to the hardworking students.
Finally, opening university to everyone mayhave bad effects to the university’s normal operation. I think the schoolofficers or supervisors can not agree more about this. One of the main tasks forschool officers or supervisors is the student administration. It is shown thatthis has a great connection with the students’ qualities, the better the students’quality, the easier to administrate them. For this reason, it is not hard toimage that if all kinds of students are admitted into universities, what a messit could bring to its normal operation

Accordingly, I do not agree to openuniversities to all students with all kinds of background for the reasonsmentioned above. If the students with bad performance in high school reallywant to accept higher education, they should go back into high school to study harderfor another year.

第一次改别人的article,因为自己的水平不行，语言方面我也改不了什么，就是看看了小的地方，呵呵，请见谅

FFtserAphUID: 2641938

谢谢goback211

wanghugigiUID: 2465119

During our life, so many problems are worth considering carefully.As what has been come up with, recently the issue has been brought into focusthat higher education should be open to everyone regardless of background. Somehold the view that the announcement is true,while that others believe that itis not. With all aspects carefully considered, I think the higher educationshould only be open to the elite students.

Firstly,the education resource is quite rarity (rare) consideringthe huge number of population. China is a developing country, (这一句在这个句子中的成分是什么？
Take China, adeveloping country, for example. Although ….) althoughgovernment has tried their (its) best to investas much money as possible to high education, it could not satisfy every highschool students’ dream to attend university to accept higher education(这句改成被动会比较好). This is also the reasonwhy competition is so crucial in the College Entrance Examination in China. (题目没有限定是中国，是不是应该加一句“Take China for example”)

Inaddition, if higher education is available to everyone without examining theirbackground, it is not fair to the elite students. Attending an ideal universityis the dream of many high school students,（. Due to this …） due to this, many ofthem working (work) hard in order to achieve theirgoal, while others spend their time on playing around or hanging out withfriends. Just assume that if those two kinds of students resulting in attendingthe same university, how unfair it is to the hardworking students.

Finally, opening university to everyone may have bad effects to theuniversity’s normal operation. I think the school officers or supervisors cannot agree more about this. One of the main tasks of school officers orsupervisors is the student administration. It is shown that this has a greatconnection with the students’ qualities, (. The better …)the better the students’ quality, the easier to administrate them. (这句应该是有问题，但我也不知道该怎么改。。) For this reason, it isnot hard to image that if all kinds of students are admitted into university,what a mess it could bring to its normal operation. 我觉得这个论点不够充分，为了让学校便于管理就不招某类学生，这听起来都不太合理。

Accordingly,I do not agree to open universities to all students with all kinds ofbackground for the reasons mentioned above. If the students with badperformance in high school really want to accept higher education, they shouldgo back into high school to study harder for another year.

chineseladyUID: 2403976

句子多少松散些, 有语法错误. 复杂句子结构不算多...
It is shown that this has a greatconnection with the students’ qualities, he better the students’ quality, the easier to administrate them.
有些句子表达不算是太准确. 人怎能说质量, 听起来像是东西样. (students' abilities....the easier for them to learn...)the easier to administrate them好像学生是在劳教期间一样..哈哈得看管

FFtserAphUID: 2641938

句子多少松散些, 有语法错误. 复杂句子结构不算多...
It is shown that this has a greatconnection with the students’ qualities, he better the students’ quality, the easier to administrate them.
有些句 ...
chineselady 发表于 2009-6-21 23:48

谢谢翠花MM的提点
我要酸菜

FFtserAphUID: 2641938

During our life, so many problems are worth considering carefully.As what has been come up with, recently the issue has been brought into focusthat higher education should be open to everyone regardle ...
wanghugigi 发表于 2009-6-21 13:32

谢谢wanghugigi的修改。
其实我第三个分论点想表达的意思是：如果让所有background的学生都进入大学的话，将会对elite的正常学习造成影响，所以才反对让所有的background的学生都进入大学。而不是怕学校管理麻烦才拒绝接受所有background的学生。
可能是我论述不够清楚哈。

Amy_shineUID: 2655186

It is shown that this has a greatconnection with the students’ qualit

我觉得改成“It is shown that this correlates the students’ qualit greatly"是不是地道一些？个人观点哈，欢迎交流~~~

Chelsea_CCUID: 2627394

During our life, so many problems are worth considering carefully. As what has been come up with, recently the issue has been brought into focus that higher education should be open to everyone regardless of background. Some hold the view that the announcement is true,while that others believe that it is not. With all aspects carefully considered, I think the higher education should only be open to the elite students. （开头很不错~ 我请教下，不需要像题目写的那样discuss 一下么？）+ w" ~# x1 A: Q3 v

2 f; U1 s3 C0 a- SFirstly, the education resource is quite rarity？
considering the huge number of population.（可以吧，有很多地方的人也不多~china是个特例吧,可以改为资源有限） China is a developing country(developing 跟人多没有什么关系吧), and although government has tried their （their? 前面用的has.）best to invest as much money as possible to high education, it could not satisfy every high school students’ dream to attend university to accept higher education. This is also the reason why competition is so crucial in the College Entrance Examination in China. （针对这个观点，例子不错）0 t. ], t& C# T- N+ d+ W1 n
6 Z0 o) m2 N% W( A
In addition, if higher education is available to everyone without examining their background, it is not fair to the elite students. Attending an ideal university is the dream of many high school students, due to this, many of them working hard in order to achieve their goal, while others spend their time on playing around or hanging out with friends. Just assume that if those two kinds of students resulting in attending the same university, how unfair it is to the hardworking students.
(从个人的角度讨论的是吧 但是elite students are not necessarily work hard.（例如 DNA之父 沃森就不是)这一段的论证有点薄弱。）
Finally, opening university to everyone may have bad effects to the university’s normal operation. I think the school officers or supervisors can not agree more about this. One of the main tasks of school officers or supervisors is the student administration. It is shown that this has a great connection with the students’ qualities, the better the students’ quality (are), the easier to administrate them. For this reason, it is not hard to image that if all kinds of students are admitted into university, what a mess it could bring to its normal operation.'
是不是想说明不利于high education的发展。这个还是比较有道理的,但是说的不够清楚。如果是仅仅因为妨碍了学校管理人员的管理，这样理由不好吧。 f9 a0 n2 p9 Q: s9 k
+ U% ^+ _* m. b0 b; [
Accordingly, I do not agree to open universities to all students with all kinds of background for the reasons mentioned above. If the students with bad performance in high school really want to accept higher education, they should go back into high school to study harder for another year.(最后一句不好，建议改改，1 你在提出自己的观点，而文章仅仅问你同意那个的 和理由。2，复读也不一定成为elite student，有很多的因素，有一部分是个人的潜在问题，不是所有人都可以成为elite student 的)

论证，不是很有力量~~