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[活动] [6,7月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 FFtserAph的 第19次作业] [复制链接]

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发表于 2009-6-24 20:23:09 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 FFtserAph 于 2009-6-24 20:27 编辑

19次作业下周三(624)晚2200前交
People visit museum whenthey travel to new places. Why do you think people visit museums? Use specificreasons and examples to support your answer.

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As the symbol of nation’s culture and history, visiting museum is always one of the best choices for people when they traveling to a new place. In my point of view, I think there are several reasons to explain this phenomenon.

To begin with, all around the world, museum is always one of the most important places which could represent a nation’s culture and provide a quick view of the history of a country. Every country has its own unique history with particular experiences compared with another one, continuing no matter thousands years as long as China or hundreds years as long as United States. It is the museum that could offer the visitor opportunities to review the sophisticated history and understand the culture of a nation through looking items inhibited form ancestors or discovered by archeologists.

In addition, there are always some special and valuable items that could only be presented in the museum. Take the art for example. All the painting masterpieces are stored carefully in different kinds of museums, such as <Mona Lisa> by Vinci and Picasso’s famous paintings - <Garcona la Pipe>. Just imagine that if a person traveled to New York City, What a pity if he or she couldn’t go to Metropolitan Museum of Art.

By visiting museum, it is more than possible that visitor could meet with other people with different nationality instead of local ones. If you have a chance to visit China, it is not strange that you can meet, talk, even make friend with Chinese because they are exist almost everywhere. However, museum is one of a small amount places where you can get along with Chinese, French, Japanese and other visitors from other countries simultaneously. It is quite interesting to learn different ideas from different countries’ people together.

So based on the points come up with, visiting museum is quite a good choice for visitors.

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发表于 2009-6-25 12:49:08 |显示全部楼层
1# FFtserAph


As the symbol of a nation’s culture and history, visiting museum is always one of the best choices for people when they  are traveling to a new place. In my point of view, I think there are several reasons to explain this phenomenon.. ?* o6 P2 X& S

/ v% b5 }& ]4 G* }& z8 f
To begin with, all around the world, museum is always one of the most important places which could represent a nation’s culture and provide a quick view of  its whole  history . Every country has its own unique history with particular experiences compared with another one, continuing no matter whether it has  several thousand of years as long as China or a few hundred of years as short as United States. It is the museum that could offer the visitor opportunities to review the sophisticated history and  to understand the culture of a nation through looking items inhibited form ancestors or discovered by archeologists. % _  q0 N- y5 }3 r

In addition, there are always some special and valuable items that could only be presented exhibited in the museum. Take the art for example. Most of  the painting masterpieces are stored carefully in different kinds of museums, such as <Mona Lisa> by Vinci and Picasso’s famous paintings - <Garcona la Pipe>. Just imagine that if a person traveled to New York City, What a pity if he or she hasn’t go to Metropolitan Museum of Art.+ s* Q0 }$ P7 V/ O$ A1 V! V

By visiting museum, it is more than possible that visitors could meet with other people with different nationalities instead of local ones. If you have a chance to visit China, it is not strange that you can meet, talk,  and even make friends with Chinese because they are exist almost everywhere. However, museum is one of a small amount  of places where you can get along with Chinese, French, Japanese and other visitors from other countries simultaneously. It is quite interesting to learn different ideas from different countries’ people together. & q. O0 H9 u2 E3 _$ U" R: S& {: J

So based on the points come up with, visiting museum is quite a good choice for visitors.


红色的字表示 加上去的
蓝色的表示可以去掉的

1.In my point of view  不太正式 有点西班牙式的味道 改为 from my point of view  or to my mind 比较好
2.As the symbol of a nation’s culture and history, visiting museum is always one of the best choices for people when they  are traveling to a new place.
这句话其实 有语病 主语应该是 museum, 而在句子里 却成了 visiting museums

3. looking items inhibited form ancestors or discovered by archeologists.
比较难理解。

4.展示物品 常用的是 exhibite  presentey用的较多的是人出席

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发表于 2009-6-25 13:02:59 |显示全部楼层
本帖最后由 FFtserAph 于 2009-6-25 13:05 编辑

2# duoluoqishi8


谢谢duoluoqishi8童鞋。我根据你的意见修改了下。

As the symbol of a nation’s culture and history, museum is always one of the best choices for people to visit when they are traveling to a new place. From my point of view, there are several reasons to explain this phenomenon.. ?* o6 P2 X& S

To begin with, all around the world, museum is always one of the most importantplaces which could represent a nation’s culture and provide a quickview of  its whole history . Every country has its own unique history with particular experiences compared with another one, continuing no matter several thousands years as long as China or a few hundreds years as short as United States. It is the museum that could offer the visitor opportunities to review the sophisticated history and to understand the culture of a nation through browsing items inhibited form ancestors or discovered by archeologists.% _  q0 N- y5 }3 r/ \, _# c1 H4 M
: \5 k3 i1 v8 H- V1 O9 O7 e* M
In addition, there are always some special and valuable items that could only be exhibited in the museum. Take the art for example. Most painting masterpieces are stored carefully in different kinds ofmuseums, such as <Mona Lisa> by Vinci and Picasso’s famouspaintings - <Garcon a la Pipe>. Just imagine that if a person traveled to New York City, What a pity if he or she hasn’t go to Metropolitan Museum of Art.+ s* Q0 }$ P7 V/ O$ A1 V! V* J2 w" h" a, h7 L, u6 k7 `/ Y9 C# r
2 {5 b) M8 b( j5 P
By visiting museum, it is more than possible that visitors could meet with other people with different nationalities instead of local ones. If you have a chance to visit China, it is not strange that you can meet, talk,  and even make friends with Chinese because they exist almost everywhere. However, museum is one of a small amount ofplaces where you can get along with Chinese, French, Japanese and othervisitors from other countries simultaneously. It is quite interesting to learn different ideas from different countries’ people together. & q. O0 H9 u2 E3 _$ U" R: S& {: J

So based on the points come up with, visiting museum is quite a good choice for visitors.

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发表于 2009-6-25 13:16:37 |显示全部楼层
1.continuing no matter several thousands years as long as China or a few hundreds years as short as United States.

thousand 和 hundred 只有在 以下情况下加s
thousands of  or hundreds of   表示成千上万

中国的历史 和 美国的历史 只有 几千年 和几百年
因此 改为这样较好

continuing no matter several thousand years as long as China or a few hundred years as short as United States.


2.在文章的结构和原因上 个人认为最后一条 似乎有点牵强,当然这一点也不是我的强项
LZ如果有好的想法 可以告诉我 O(∩_∩)O谢谢

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发表于 2009-6-25 20:31:45 |显示全部楼层
As the symbol of nation’s culture and history, visiting museum is always one of the best choices for people when they traveling to a new place(改得很好,赞). In my point of view, I think(跟前面的my point重复了感觉) there are several reasons to explain this phenomenon.(还可以举些例子啊,比如去北京就去故宫,去巴黎就去罗浮宫)

To begin with, all around the world, museum is always one of the most important places which could represent a nation’s culture and provide a quick view of the history of a country. Every country has its own unique history with particular experiences compared with another one, continuing (我觉得lasting更好点)no matter thousands years as long as China or hundreds years as long as United States. It is the museum that could offer the visitor opportunities to review the sophisticated history and understand the culture of a nation through looking items inhibited form ancestors(是不是改成inhibited items from ancestor好呢,不知是不是我理解错了) or discovered by archeologists.

In addition, there are always some special and valuable items that could only be presented in the museum. Take the art for example. All (Most吧,All太绝对了)the painting masterpieces are stored carefully in different kinds of museums, such as <Mona Lisa> by Vinci and Picasso’s famous paintings - <Garcona la Pipe>. Just imagine that if a person traveled to New York City, What a pity if he or she couldn’t go to Metropolitan Museum of Art.(这句跟前面的论点貌似结合的不是很紧密啊,好像跟第一个论点跟切合。这应该是说你去其他地方看不到。说明名画在这个城市的图书馆,你去这个城市没有看到这幅画很遗憾)

By visiting museum, it is more than(跟什么than) possible that visitor could meet with other people with different nationality instead of local ones(我觉得more和instead不一起用吧). If you have a chance to visit China, it is not strange that you can meet, talk, even make friend with Chinese because they are exist (exsit是动词)almost everywhere. However, museum is one of a small amount places where you can get along with Chinese, French, Japanese and other visitors from other countries simultaneously. It is quite interesting to learn different ideas from different countries’ people together.

So based on the points come up with, visiting museum is quite a good choice for visitors.

思路清晰,结构分明,语言功底不错,几个理由找的也相当的深刻,不过细节方面希望以后能继续改进,呵呵
自己个人的意见,有不对的地方请见谅...我是113楼,欢迎来修改,我也是新手

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发表于 2009-6-26 09:35:05 |显示全部楼层
5# goback211

谢谢goback211
学习了

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RE: [6,7月份 cracking ibt essay! 小组写作组 FFtserAph的 第19次作业] [修改]

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