08的作文修改小铺子

752585UID：2516542

本来给小组写的，结果没人判。。。麻烦楼主帮看一下
Is attending a live performance more enjoyable than watching the same event on television?

With the improvement of living standard and the development of recreational activities, more and more people have the chance to participate in live performance. The question is, “do people have more fun in live performance than watching the same show in television?” I think the answer is definitely yes.

Admittedly, watching performance in home has many advantages. The most outstanding advantage is cheap. Let’s put in numbers: a ticket for Michael Jackson live perform sells for at least 500 dollars. In contrast, if you watch it on television, how much you should pay? Nothing! And the cost of transport can also be saved. Moreover, at home people do not need to worry about seeing unclearly if they sit at back.

Although watching television is more economical, seeing live performance can give people more fun. The first reason is that people can have the chance to have a close contact with their ideal. Take my own experience for instance. I take a great interest in magic tricks, therefore when I heard David Copperfield, one of my favorite magicians, was going to hold a live perform, I bought a ticket at once. In the performance, I was chosen as lucky audience to participate in one magical trick. In the program, I could help David held his cards. It is really an unforgettable experience, not only because I can talk to my ideal, but also it is the first time I see a magical trick so closely. I am sure that people who watch the performance can not have this kind exciting experience. Therefore, people attend live performance can get unexpected pleasure.

Furthermore, people can watch the show with other people. People are more likely to feel happy when their surrounding people feel enjoyable, because human is easily under the influence of other people and the environment. According to last statics, above 50% people choosing watch live sport games is because they can share their emotion with other people when they are seeing the game. Therefore, attending live performance, especially sport games, can bring people more fun and give the chance to people know new friends who have same interesting.  

All in all, although the cost of live performance is considerably higher than watching television, people can finally get what they pay for: a lot of pleasure.

lxririsUID：2664356

谢谢批改~看到你的建议之后(356楼)，我重写了一下第二个论点。觉得还是有点不太透彻。望指导！
In addition, grades not only serve as an indespensable factor in individual study but also in the whole class' studious atmosphere. When recieving the score, we tend to make comparison with our classmates, finding out whether we have done well among the whole class. No one would be willing to fall behind one’s peer. Therefore, under such great encouragement, everyone tries to get higher rank in the next exam, which spontaneously put forword the atmosphere of competition of the class. Grade just like a powerful engine, giving abundant energy to the whole class and helping all the student make progress together.

perceptionUID：2299669

不用帮你仔细改啦。
一个小问题：三个论点都是电话优于电视的方面，但是你要说“这些优势是电视所没有的”，这样才体现你仔细衡量了这2者。
jiang08 发表于 2009-9-1 01:20

谢谢jiang08看得起我的词句，不过像这种电视和电话比，我觉得还是挺难的，和看书还是看电视还不一样，基本上就是不相干的。所以我只能说电视能娱乐，电话推动社会进步。不知道您有没有具体的好建议，谢谢？

64080045UID：2606889

真是太感激了，这是我第一篇写的TOEFL作文，好像还有刚考完GRE的AW影子呢，心里完全没谱，希望LZ辛苦给狠狠批一通。。。我虚心接受了

36. Choose one of the following transportation vehicles and explain why you think it has changed people's lives. O automobiles O bicycles O airplanes Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer.   

When it comes to the most influential transportation vehicle of our modern lives, the very image pumped into my mind is the automobile. The whole generation are making money or saving money to pursuit their dreams of owning a car. This, to some extent, suggests the dramatic changes that automobiles have put into our lives. And I do believe the changes can be divided into three categories: visible, mental and environmental.
Firstly, we have witnessed the development rate ever since the Industrial Revolution. Skyscrapers have been built; Information Technology has become the TOP1 GDP donator of the whole nation; the paces of human lives have been doubled or even tripled. The automobiles come in not only as one of these results; it comes as a donator as well. The automobile contributes to the high efficiency of our working and even recreational method. It releases human body from the occupied and extremely slow public transportations. Ever since automobiles' showing up, we have been able to approach wherever we want whenever we want.  
Secondly, when it comes to the mental changes of modern people, the automobiles unavoidably exert an immeasurable influence. We now tend to divide people into two sections: people who own cars and people who don't. Those with a car (maybe more than one) can require a much higher social status than those who don't. It often occurs that people driving to a restaurant can receive a much warmer welcome than people who take buses. On the contrary, those without a car tend to be aggressive social-climbers. I am not suggesting that manufacturing automobiles is such an anti-social behavior. All I'm trying to say is the pursuit of cars psychologically make people lose themselves and become extremely vanity-oriented.
Thirdly, from the aspect of the environment, the gases pumped into our automobiles require oil as raw material. The original oil is non-renewable resource. What's more, the gas pumped into our cars also release noxious chemicals (mostly carbon dioxide) into the atmosphere. The negative changes are too obvious for me to illustrate.
To sum up, the automobiles have certainly changes both the ways we behave and the ways we think. Although some of the changes are not pleasant at all, we are still supposed to revise the negative parts and take advantages of automobiles. This is the way human beings are supposed to struggle for a living on this planet.


Word Count: 398

tigerzxUID：2669737

赶上这周的：同时做太多事情导致事情做不好
It is inevitable that people nowadays need to treat many things at the same time for most of times. Some pessimists argue that these things make people busy and finally lead to bad consequence or disappointment. However, I am strongly supportive of the argument that by using the high-tech and training the abilities, such as planning, people will get these things well finished and reached their expectation.

First of all, people nowadays are taught the abilities to manage the time, making plan and being creative from very young. These abilities are crucial for dealing with many things together. For example, some children maybe like to learn dancing. They can carefully distribute their time and make balance between school and the spare time for dancing so that they can be master the dance without the expense of falling behind of study. In this complex society, there are many ways to obtain and practise these skills among which learning from those successful people is an effective way.

Furthermore, as the development of high technology, people can cope with many things together wonderfully by taking advantages of those high-techs. The Internet, the greatest invention in the last century, helps people to treat their work by selectively providing large amount information. This method not only improve the quality of work but also enhance the possibility of dealing with many things together for the computer itself, for instance, can calculate and treat some data according to people's requirement.

Finally, it is widely acknowledged that different people will form various perceptions towards the same result. What is more, it is hard to make such a standard or a definition for well. For most of people, trying their best also means they a good result, even a bad one is acceptable. In this sense, everyone can deal with many things at the same time for they have already tried their best and undoubtedly learn a lot from this course. Maybe a low score for an exam is bad result from an angle while from another angle, the hard-working attitude and the lessons learned from the exam make this score well and meaningful.

Based on the reasons listed above, the modern society provides enough high technology and tools to facilitate people's work and to result in better consequences. However, the most important factor is people's attitude. A sincere attitude and hard working will help to do things well definitely.

谢谢08

rachel1102UID：2657934

题目 It is better for students at university or in college to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades.

Whether it is better for students at university to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades? Different people hold different views. Some may point that study is the most important thing  in college, so the students should choose difficult classes, while others may view that it is useless for the students to learn such a difficult class. However, in my opinion, it is a little bit haste to say that it is better for different students at university to choose difficult classes even if they cannot get top grades, or vice versa.

In university, some students want to go on to study after graduate from school, to be master or doctor. For these students, choosing difficult classes is good for their career. To learn difficult classes well, the students have to pay a lot of time in studying. They will read many books and do more homework. During this process, students can learn not only the subject, but also the way to study well. It is good for them to go their study. In the future, when they be master or doctor, and when they face difficult subject to research, they can solve the problems with confidence because they have faced a lot of difficult things in the difficult classes.

While for students who have the ambition to be good businessmen, it is useless to pay so much time in studing the difficult classed. They can use the rest time to be a volunteer or fine a pary-time job to increase their experience and it is helpful for them to find a good job. What's more, in university, there are always many classes, they can choose the relatively easy class to learn. Take me for example, after graduate from university, I want to open my own shop to sell computers, so for me, to increase my selling experience is very important. If I choose to learn difficult classes that I cannot get top grades, I will waste a lot of time in studying it. So it is not good for me to study difficult classes.

In conclusion, whether to choose difficult classes to study depends on the students' purpose. Learn difficult classes can help the students increase their ability of study, but will spend their a lot of time. So the students should decide what they really need.

谢谢08。我刚开始练作文，写的不好，26号就考了，紧急备考中。辛苦了~

liufly2008UID：2660073

题目：Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific examples to support your opinion."
Towards the problem whether television has destroyed communication among friends and family, different people has different opinions. Some people suggest that the television has really damaged the relations between him/her and friends and family. Other people hold the opposite view. In their opinions, TV will not do bad to you is you could handle the problem appropriately. As to me, I strongly agree with the second opinion with the following reasons.
First of all, you could control the time you spend on watching TV, so it will not damage the relationship between your family and friends. It is a fact that, for some children, the first thing that they do after going home is turning on TV. But it is parents’ responsibility to remind the kids when they could watch and when you should talk with the family and the friends. So if you could handle the time properly, then you will not only get the knowledge from the TV but also have a good relations with the family and friends.
What is more, you can even strengthen the relations between your friends and family through talking the context of the TV. For example, there is a lot of breaking news, sport games or series broadcasting on the TV that you and your friends and family may interest. So you all could watch it together and comment on them. In fact, in this process, your may laugh together, sign together, happy together and sad together. So isn’t it good for your relationships? To children, if they do not watch some cartoons, then they could say nothing when the friends are talking about the cartoons. Then do you think it is good for the children’s grown up?
In conclusion, TV may be a real problem for some people because they spend too much time on it. However, if you could allocate the time to TV and the time to family and friends, then you could make a good relation between the family and the friends, and at the same time get a lot of useful knowledge from TV.
我也是26号就考了，心里太没底了，谢谢08

DriftKingUID：2664045

嘿嘿 第一次在08的小铺子里发作文
这个写的感觉不是很爽 所以比较能暴露问题
还请08多多批评 指正
DK有礼了

Good looks and dresses are more important for success than good ideas. Agree or disagree?
反对观点
正文提纲
1、先同意，毕竟像模特之类的职业还是很注重外表和穿着的
2、转折，打部分人来说还是good idea更重要
3、即便是模特也需要有good idea

No matter people are watching movies or in the real life, they can always find that good looks and good ideas are two common things people pursue to. Which one is more important for us to succeed? I think it is good idea of course.

When a model meets this situation, it is no doubt that the nice appearance is more important than his/her idea. It is ridiculous that a successful model who's height is 160 centimetre with a normal face walking on the T-shaped stag, even s/he is such a intelligent person who's IQ is 200. Because as a model, the most important element is his/her appearance include the height, nice face, temperament. We do not care his/her idea or intelligence, his education background, they are no use for a model.

However, to most of the people, have a smart brain is more important than beautiful looks. Since people who are models and other similar occupation are only a small group, most of the people are farmers, workers, researchers include scientists, teachers and so on. They really need good idea in their job. As a farmer, s/he must know what is the time to breed the sow, how to protect the farm from crucial insects' damage and find the way to increase the farm's output... Workers, researchers and other occupations are live in the same situation, because if they want to finish their job successfully, they should always have good idea.

What is more, a famous model is also need good ideas. If people want to be one of the most famous models in the world, I think, s/he must choose the right fashion show to take, the special designer to follow ... These are all need them to have good ideas.

All in all, it is more important for people to have good ideas than good appearance for reasons that nice appearance is only useful to a few people while the smart brain is suitable to almost all of the areas.

如果这篇作文按照这样的提纲写 不知好不好
1、开头 表明观点  应该具体问题具体分析
2、如果是模特 或者 形象代言人了 当然应该注重形象了
3、其他的就非常注意good idea了
4、总结

08辛苦了
满屏的批改了 有赏哦

baobeiqiUID：2616448

LZ快考了。对作文超级没底，希望LZ能帮忙修改一下，评个分，谢谢啦！！
Agree or disagree with that observing and studying animals helps to understand human nature.

Have you envied Phillips’s sharkskin swimsuits? Have you statisfied with the speed of the plane? Have you astonied the rador’s echolocation ability? A multitude of people live under the illusion that obeserving and studying animalhelp to understand human nature, however, from my perspective, it is not as that case at all and what they are thinking about is really far beyond me. I maintain it will do more harm than good. There are several reasons contributeto my attitude.

For one thing, we, human, are not only animals, but advanced with thinking minds creatures such as logical thinking and accute perception. Intricate brain instruct and control human’s behavior and thinking, and are therefore the conspicuous character differ from animals which have simple brain structure compared with that of human, such as mammals and amohibious. For example, according from Masolow’s Hierachy of Needs, doing things make human really interested in will offer him greasted passion. So the man will devote more time to it to make more contribution. If we intend to reveal the realation, we can’t envisage that it can make a conclusion from studying and observing animal, as animal never appear the advanced need, they only fight for food and survive in their all lives. Maybe this need can't be perfectly meet, and thus how can you inmage a higher need would come to their lives, a sense of achievement, self-esteem, and other higher need which possessd by human, distinctivily.

To such a paramount reason, another must be added. researchers have designed precise precedures step by step, and thus made some subjective consequences
emerged by running the precedures. To give a demonstration, if we desire to discern why human “ burnt child dreads the fire”, in other word, Received some kind of injury, and thus expressed a associated fear of things that cause harm to something like that injury. we design a experiment based on some theroies to apply on the animals. As researchers, naturally, a result which concert with our predictions can gratify them, and consequently the experiment’s results appear more subjective.


All that said, it’s not sagacious to observe and study animals to understand human nature.Not always, though. The animal world suggests that the effect is not restricted to humans to some extent. Like, Pavlov’s experiments with dogs contributed to the concept of environmental conditioning, a central idea in behaviorism. Even if an animal experiment does eventually verify the hypothesis, though, would it really mark a same reaction in human? One of their number, David Fogel, the chairman of Animal Study Center, a scientific institution based in San Diego, California, thinks not. They announced that human also has some characters such as agrression and propagation like animal, as a matter of fact, other significant ones apparently make studying animals to understand human nature less meaningful.

It has always been a difficult perspective to comprehend for me who some scholars who uphold this, obstinately pretend that they can have a full knowledge of human nature by observing and studying animal.

wupiggy@163.comUID：2743235

OG NO.21 Independent Writing  
Q: In general, people are living longer now. Discuss the causes of this phenomenon.
     
     Nowadays, it is increasingly acknowledged that people are living longer. Why do people can live longer and how to live longer such as a 108 year old man, which depends on your own experience, life style and emotional concerned.



   　With the development of science technology, more and more health medicines and machines can help people to live longer， but it is not the main reason. The main reason make people live longer which can be listed as follow.



   　First of all, people prefer drinking a cup of wine or green tea before sleep instead of smoke. Drinking a cup of wine every day can strengthen the immune system to prevent the cancer and many other kinds of disease. In the research, 200000 smokers are killed by cancer every year. 1800000 drunkards are killed by alcohol. It’s a terrible status. Smoked and drunk are do harm to people’s health. A good life style, which keep good hours, proper diet and exercise are very important for health. Increasingly white-collars are aware of the important of doing exercise. They play badminton, jog or other sports at least one times a week. Do more physical exercise can prevent the disease effectively.



  　 People who want to live longer are not only keep healthy in physical but also in mental. Good emotion everyday is one of the most important reasons to live longer. A girl who have cancer and struggle the disease by smiled bravely lived 10years longer than the doctor’s deadline. It’s not pessimistic but hopeful that lead people living longer. The happy people are living longer than   the sad people. Because whatever difficult they meet, happy people will always face them by smile.



　　The phenomenon of people living longer which combine with wisdom and technology is not coincidence but consequentially.

zhangyu027UID：2708212

不知LZ有没有时间呢？先放在这里了。
之前请别人批改过，说结构还行，语法要注意，同时缺乏亮点，要想方设法突破fair.
Q：If people don't say anything nice to people, then people should say nothing, do you agree or disagree with the advice.
The assertion embrace a hidden meaning that one should always say something nice to someone, even it is common in real society, I contend that the people should tell the truth to others no matter what it refers, whether nice or worse meaning, I will illustrate my assertion in the followings:
First, other who disagree with the assertion might indicate that white lies and kind lies are indispensible in nowadays, as no person would tolerant to tell the patient relatives who are ill to death with cancer, and the beautiful ladies are glad to hear admiration, point out who are unsuitable of the dress might make her angry. Commonly as we see, the lies are pervading in the offices as the subordinates to flattery their boss and the company presented the false financial statistics to reduce the tax. It seems we are obligating to cover the truth and tell lies even we are reluctant to do, however, under carefully scrutinize can we conclude the white lies are avoidable and saying nice even they are untrue, have bad effect on others.
Second, as far as for me, when the factors are harsh to accept or they are so bad to confess, we are obliging to persuade others to believe and solve the problem in other approach. Citing a example, when other make mistakes or undertaking something that are inappropriate, pointing out publicly might worsen the facts and have negative effects on the subjects who are unaware of the mistake or commit the inappropriate unconsciously, in other words, one could communicate with the others privately and using other approach to make him recognize the problems and aware to avoid the problem again. One of my friends Jane is a talkative girl who always interrupts other when talking, I have told her about the impoliteness and she avoid the later on.
In addition, say nothing might inappropriate behaviors treating with other which seems lack of impassion and feedback, we prefer to have communication with other, but in order to avoid conflict and negative effect, the intelligent approach and honesty make a important role in the communication. On the other hand, say anything nice even they are untrue harm the integrity persons and unbelievable persons are hard to rely on, even if they are benefit for the white lies temporarily, they would find out the truth are be hurt next time.
In conclusion, I can’t agree with the essay that if you can’t say anything nice to someone, you should say nothing at all, in other word, I contend people should always tell the truth no matter it is nice to accept or harsh to hear, in addition ,in order to improve the influent communication , the seemly approach to express the thoughts are indespensible.

fannylumengjieUID：2543678

372# zhangyu027

fannylumengjieUID：2543678

Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Television has destroyed communication among friends and family. Use specific reasons and examples to support your opinion.

Nowadays, television is playing a more and more important role in people’s life. For instance, by watching news on television, people know affairs happened in remote places. By enjoying funny TV series, people relax themselves after a long day of boring work. As a result, television has made people’s life more colorful. However, as a fact of the widespread of television, some people argue that it has destroyed interpersonal communication among people. In my perspective, this is not necessary the case.

Admittedly, people will reduce the communication among friends and family if they excessively devote themselves to watching television. Since television is easily accessible to almost everyone in the world, there is a big chance that the communication among people will thus be reduced significantly. However, the result relies on the assumption that a considerable number of people will tend to spend excessive time on television. In my observation, it is just not the case. Take people around me as an example. Almost all of them just regard television as one of the methods which can help relaxing them in spare time. And none of them spend very long time simply watching television. In another word, none of them are badly affected by television on their communication with friends or family.

I cannot deny the fact that there exist such people, though not many, who addict to watching television and thus spend little time talk to, or exchange feelings with their friends and family. However, it is these people themselves who are to blame rather than television. Such people just choose television as a tool to help them escape from the real world. Television is just one possible measure taken by these people to achieve such goal. Without television, they will turn to other methods such as Internet, drinking and gambling. So in my opinion, if some people do addict to watching television, they will surely addict to other things if there were no television in the world. Thus, television should not be blamed as the cause of decreased communication among some people.

Moreover, contradicting to what some people think, television can contribute to the communication among friends and family sometimes. For example, popular programs on television can be a good topic among friends, thus increasing their chance to communicate to each other. And families can watch television together after supper or on Sunday as a good family activity. By watching interesting programs together, families can happily communicate their feelings during the watching process, thus contributing to a better family atmosphere.

In sum, though a few people may excessively devote to television as a fact, the majority of us won’t. Meanwhile, sometimes, television can help the communication among friends and family, contracting to the statement claimed by some people.

第一篇托福独立作文，完全没底。。。求批改。。。阿门。。。

ヤ.魔ポ☆.UID：3381952

我已经可以预感到血流成河的样子了。。第一篇作文。。。感谢辛苦的08大人~
Agree or not: it is impossible to be completely honest with your friends. (Friendship)

For many of us, friendship plays an essential role in our lives. When something frustrating comes up, friends’ comfort and advice usually matches our needs most, for they are familiar with us most. Here comes the problem. Are we supposed to be frank to our friends about everything? In fact, I do not advocate it.

In the first place, for us, complete honesty cannot provide as much benefit as we usually think. Even worse, it may bring harm to us. To start with, expressing our feelings directly can easily get us into trouble. I will take one of my classmates as an example. She seldom, if ever, kept a secret. As a matter of fact, it seemed that coping with the conflicts caused by her unpleasant comments on others became a part of her daily life. As a consequence, she lost almost every friend she had.  From her story, we can see apparently that lacking a sense of holding back improper words make it difficult for one to get along well with others, which will eventually have a bad effect.

In addition to that, it also troubles our friends. It is true, that friendship is about sharing happiness and sorrow, but if we always bother our friends by telling them all our negative and pessimistic feelings to remove our stress, in spite of how much pressure they will bear, we are likely to lose our friends consequently. Meanwhile, something we share with our friends, as a matter of fact, is not worth paying that much attention. In other words, we often waste each other’s time talking about trivia. In conclusion, we usually disturb our friends with unimportant things at a risk of destroying our friendship.

Moreover, sometimes both our friends and us may feel bad when what we are talking about is sensitive, especially when it associates with something we are competing for. For instance, I have heard that some students quarrelled with their friends when applying for school offers or scholarship, after which they treated each other just as a stranger. Under such circumstances we had better be careful about what we say. Friends are not the same as our family members. The link between us is not as strong as we may think, so we should be discreet.

To sum up, complete honesty to our friends can bring both our friends and us trouble, affect our normal life and work and destroy our friendship. The result is so serious that it is really impossible for people to behave that way as long as they still want to keep their friends and a peaceful life.
球拍。。

秋雨荆州UID：2903781

ヤ.魔ポ☆. 发表于 2012-11-7 02:13
我已经可以预感到血流成河的样子了。。第一篇作文。。。感谢辛苦的08大人~
Agree or not: it is impossibl ...

08大哥已经不改啦，楼主可以找RO老师改，地址这边https://bbs.gter.net/thread-1455555-1-1.html