TOEFL暑假集结号作文第二次作业 by sjtupeeler

sjtupeelerUID: 2425202

Should the government focus more on preserving nature environment and less on economic development?

Outline:1.Since the global competition and the domestic enviroment pressure are both forcing the goverment to think over,neither of the two tasks should be           left over by authority.
        2.Without enough economic power,the nation could not stand around the world
        3.Without delication and enjoyable surroudings domestically,the people of the country will not be satisfied with the economic fruits
        4.Both should be done and coordinated by govorment.


During the past decades, some countries around the world have begun to identify the seriousness of the environment problems brought about by the abusing the nature resources and effective measures have already been taken to mitigate this problem. But in some countries, people there suffer from the shortage of food, clothes and shelter, which result from the poor economies in their nations. From my personal point of view, authorities should take the responsibilities to boost the economy and focus on the protection of the environment.

For starters, economies play a more and more significant role in the construction of a society in which people enjoy their living and jobs, which must be the goal of every government. The fierce competition between different continents, districts and countries, to which the globalization lead, are forcing governments to try best to meet the challenges posed by rivals. For example, GDP has become a nearly decisive part of the evaluation of officials in some countries. Even for those countries already with serious environment problems, if they do not attach great importance to the economies, they won't have enough resources and money to invest on programs which aim to mitigate the pollution or even slow or reverse the trend. So authorities and central government can never give up their efforts to raise the economic status of their countries.


On the other hand, the economy development should be reached in the price of destruction of nature environment. To build more and more plants can obviously lead to the growing prosperity in terms of money ,but then it can also damage the surroundings. For example, the atmosphere will be filled with greenhouse effect gas, the rain will be acid and the water will be so polluted that all fishes will die. It is true that citizens can enjoy their life materially if their salaries rise and their purchasing power increase, which can be resulted by governments' efforts to boost the economies. But environment also has a big impact on people's life. No matter how much money one gains, he or she can never ignore the effects brought by the pollution.



To conclude, government should allocate their resources to the two tasks reasonably. The best situation is that the domestic economies can offer their citizens a relatively high purchasing power to enjoy life materially and the environment can provide the citizens cleaner and better locations to live their life spiritually and healthily. If either of the economy or the environment can not meet the requirements of people, the central or local authorities should think their policies over and take effective steps to seek the best balanced point between the two tasks, where citizens gain the largest utilities.

thatllUID: 2538832

靠，你这个标题取得也太对不起大家了吧，欺骗感情的，真是

sjtupeelerUID: 2425202

靠，你这个标题取得也太对不起大家了吧，欺骗感情的，真是
thatll 发表于 2009-7-15 22:46

不好意思，已经把标题改过了。。。

枕头和书UID: 2578813

During the past decades, some countries around the world（词用的很好） have begun to identify the seriousness of the environment problems brought about by the abusing the nature resources and effective measures have already been taken to mitigate this problem. But in some countries, people there suffer from the shortage of food, clothes and shelter, which result from the poor economies in their nations. From my personal point of view, authorities should take the responsibilities to boost the economy and focus on the protection of the environment.

For starters, economies play a more and more significant role in the construction of a society in which people enjoy their living and jobs, which must be the goal of every government. The fierce competition between different continents, districts and countries, to which the globalization lead, are forcing governments to try best to meet the challenges posed by rivals. For example, GDP has become a nearly decisive part of the evaluation of officials in some countries. Even for those countries already with serious environment problems, if they do not attach great importance to the economies, they won't have enough resources and money to invest on programs which aim to mitigate the pollution or even slow or reverse the trend. So authorities and central government can never give up their efforts to raise the economic status of their countries.9 l4 H) Z7 ?  T


On the other hand, the economy development should be reached in the price of destruction of nature environment. To build more and more plants can obviously lead to the growing prosperity in terms of money ,but then it can also damage the surroundings. For example, the atmosphere will be filled with greenhouse effect gas, the rain will be acid and the water will be so polluted that all fishes will die. It is true that citizens can enjoy their life materially if their salaries rise and their purchasing power increase, which can be resulted by governments' efforts to boost the economies. But environment also has a big impact on people's life. No matter how much money one gains, he or she can never ignore the effects brought by the pollution.) F$ B+ P$ P3 C% N% I( ]



To conclude, government should allocate their resources to the two tasks reasonably. The best situation is that the domestic economies can offer their citizens a relatively high purchasing power to enjoy life materially and the environment can provide the citizens cleaner and better locations to live their life spiritually and healthily（精神上地和健康地，个人觉得有点不合适）. If either of the economy or the environment can not meet the requirements of people, the central or local authorities should think their policies over and take effective steps to seek the best balanced point between the two tasks, where citizens gain the largest utilities.
评价：
总体感觉很牛，功底很强啊。个别搭配显冗长。
很牛的一篇文章，自己挑不出什么太大问题。

MVTUID: 2588209

Should the government focus more on preserving nature environment and less on economic development?
Outline:
1.Since the global competition and the domestic enviroment pressure are both forcing the goverment to think over,neither of the two tasks should be left over by authority.
2.Without enough economic power,the nation could not stand around the world)
3.Without delication and enjoyable surroudings domestically,the people of the country will not be satisfied with the economic fruits
4.Both should be done and coordinated by govorment.
批改说明：
1. 红色: 不太合适的地方；
2. 蓝色: 值得学习的地方；
3. 淡紫: (my comment).

During the past decades, some countries around the world have begun to identify the seriousness of the environment problems brought about by the abusing the nature resources and effective measures have already been taken to mitigate this problem. But in some countries, people there suffer from the shortage of food, clothes and shelter, which result from the poor economies in their nations. From my personal point of view, authorities should take the responsibilities to boost the economy and focus on the protection of the environment.(开头正反讲述，引出作者的观点: both are important。正反对照合理、流畅。)

For starters, economies play a more and more significant role in the construction of a society in which people enjoy their living and jobs, which must be the goal of every government. The fierce competition between different continents, districts and countries, to which the globalization lead, are forcing governments to try best to meet the challenges posed by rivals. For example, GDP has become a nearly decisive part of the evaluation of officials in some countries. Even for those countries already with serious environment problems, if they do not attach great importance to the economies, they won't have enough resources and money to invest on programs which aim to mitigate the pollution or even slow or reverse the trend(个人观点，这句论断比较绝对，Is economic development the only way to mitigate/pollution or slow/reverse the problem？). So authorities and central government can never give up their efforts to raise the economic status of their countries.(本段论述关注经济发展的正确性:construct society for people's living condition, forced by globalized competition, good way to alleviate envrionmental problems.理由很充分，但是只是点到，没有说透，尤其是第3个)

On the other hand, the economy development should be reached in the price of destruction of nature environment.(怎么感觉这句话的意思说反了，少了个not 还是我理解错了？) To build more and more plants can obviously lead to the growing prosperity in terms of money ,but then it can also damage the surroundings. For example, the atmosphere will be filled with greenhouse effect gas, the rain will be acid and the water will be so polluted that all fishes will die. It is true that citizens can enjoy their life materially if their salaries rise and their purchasing power increase, which can be resulted by governments' efforts to boost the economies. But environment also has a big impact on people's life. No matter how much money one gains, he or she can never ignore the effects brought by the pollution.(本段论述环境保护的重要性:the surroundings are damaged)

To conclude, government should allocate their resources to the two tasks reasonably. The best situation is that the domestic economies can offer their citizens a relatively high purchasing power to enjoy life materially and the environment can provide the citizens cleaner and better locations to live their life spiritually and healthily. If either of the economy or the environment can not meet the requirements of people, the central or local authorities should think their policies over and take effective steps to seek the best balanced point between the two tasks, where citizens gain the largest utilities.(结论: 二者不可偏颇，政府应该寻找到一个平衡点让公民获取最大利益)
COMMENTS:
1. 作者基本功扎实，句子表达清除，而且擅长运用复杂句；
2. 文章思路清晰，走中间路线，双方各打五十大板；
3. 作者论证思维很新颖活跃，只是觉得说理性比较多，例证和过渡少，看起来比较累。
一家之言，说得不对之处请原谅！

zliuKaiserUID: 2522209

1# sjtupeeler
During the past decades, some countries around the world have begun to identify the seriousness of the environment problems brought about by the (这里为什么要加the, abusing是动词的现在分词,不是名词) abusing the nature resources and effective measures have already been taken to mitigate this problem. But in some countries, people there suffer from the shortage of food, clothes and shelter, which result from the poor economies in their nations. From my personal point of view, authorities should take the responsibilities to boost the economy and focus on the protection of the environment.
For starters, economies play a more and more significant role in the construction of a society in which people enjoy their living and jobs, which must be the goal of every government. The fierce competition between different continents, districts and countries, to which the globalization lead, are forcing governments to try best to meet the challenges posed by rivals. For example, GDP has become a nearly decisive part of the evaluation of officials in some countries. Even for those countries already with serious environment problems, if they do not attach great importance to the economies, they won't have enough resources and money to invest on programs which aim to mitigate the pollution or even slow or reverse the trend. So authorities and central government can never give up their efforts to raise the economic status of their countries.
On the other hand, the economy development should be reached in the price of destruction of nature environment. To build more and more plants can obviously lead to the growing prosperity in terms of money, but then it can also damage the surroundings. For example, the atmosphere will be filled with greenhouse effect gas, the rain will be acid and the water will be so polluted that all fishes will die. It is true that citizens can enjoy their life materially if their salaries rise and their purchasing power increase, which can be resulted by governments' efforts to boost the economies. But environment also has a big impact on people's life. No matter how much money one gains, he or she can never ignore the effects brought by the pollution.

To conclude, government should allocate their resources to the two tasks reasonably. The best situation is that the domestic economies can offer their citizens a relatively high purchasing power to enjoy life materially and the environment can provide the citizens cleaner and better locations to live their life spiritually and healthily. If either of the economy or the environment cannot meet the requirements of people, the central or local authorities should think their policies over and take effective steps to seek the best balanced point between the two tasks, where citizens gain the largest utilities.
Outline:
1. Governments should take the responsibilities to boost the economy and focus on the environment.
2. For starters, the economies are necessary parts of the construction of their countries.
a) Competitions like GDP force the government of every country to pay much attention on the rising of their economy.
3. The development of economy should be reached by the price of destroying the nature.
a) Actions such as building factories which aims at boosting the economy have many negative effects on the environment. No matter how purchasing power people own, they cannot ignore the pollution of the environment.
4. To conclude, the government should allocate the two resources reasonably.
作者的水平好高啊,真是羡慕.我没找到什么问题.最后列了一下提纲,不知理解的对不对.
我学到了很多.谢谢.